Lost Souls | Xu Minghao

nine

on a cold december winter...

"minghao!", minghao confusedly looked back only to see her catching her breath.

"wait. why—do—you—walk so fast?"

"did i tell you to follow me?", minghao then turned around to walk away.

"minghao! wait!", he sighed before looking back again.

"i've already said that i can't like you.", those words could hurt more than anything but it was somehow alright for her.

"it's okay.", she smiled at him. "as long as my feelings are still the same... then it's okay.", he just weirdly looked at her for a moment but eventually walked away again.

"you're really good at painting.", minghao had a mini heart attack when she suddenly whispered right on his ears, but it was a relief that he could hide it.

she looked around the art room in astonishment. minghao just stared at her, but was uncertain of what he's feeling.

the bell alarm suddenly went on, signaling the students to go to their respective rooms as class will start soon.

"oh!, i'll go first. our teacher is the strict one today.", she giggled before heading out. minghao unconsciously smiled, which caused him to instantly frown after realizing what he just did.

"minghao.", she whispered in front of him who is busy reading a book,"what are you doing?"

"reading, obviously.", she sat across his seat and looked around.

"why are you here?", minghao asked but his eyes are still fixed on the book.

"just...", she pursed her lips and tapped the table.

"we're in a library. shouldn't you be reading something?", he took a glance at her, raising his brows.

"it's okay, i already have enough knowledge.", she proudly smiled and he just looked at her weirdly.

"okay...", he went back to reading his book.

minutes have passed but everything was still the same, minghao's reading and she's just looking around, and doesn't seems to get bored by it.

"i wonder what's wrong here.", he mumbled to himself and creased his forehead, but she heard it.

"why?", minghao looked at her, he contemplated if he should ask her about it or not but he still did in the end.

"here.", minghao pushed his notes towards her and pointed an equation that he has been stuck on for awhile.

"i've calculated this for so many times, but my answer is still different from the model answer.", she brought the notes closer to her and looked at it intensely, as if she knows the answer by just looking at, but she sighed causing him to lose hope.

"i don't know either, hehe.", she faked a laugh and pushed back the notes back to him, her head literally had spin when she saw all those quadratic equations, though they're both on the same level, it was just hard for her.

on the other hand, minghao secretly snorted after seeing her looking so confused.

"minghao!", she shouted behind him as he was walking way ahead of her. minghao looked back with a smile.

"wait for me!", minghao started to walk ahead, and so she started to walk faster.

minghao was already infront of the pedestrian lane while she was still behind.

she took a glance at the road, and a car caught her attention, it was driving so fast that she doubted it would be safe for minghao to cross the road. she diverted her attention to minghao, who is now taking steps on the pedestrian lane.

'oh no...'

she now ran rapidly but constantly looked back at the rushing car. she was already near him when the car started honking, the driver was already pulling the breaks but his car doesn't seem to stop because the road was slippery as it's winter.

she successfully grabbed minghao's wrist and pulled him to her.

everything's happening so fast that they both couldn't identify what could happen next.

minghao saw the car, and so he was now the one who pulled her.
the car was getting near that she came up with a solution that just popped up inside her head.

she pushed minghao aside by his chest and was the one who got hit by the car, while minghao was pushed too much that he's almost loosing consciousness.

their bloods scattered all over the road, and at that time also, snow started to fall. minghao managed to move his head and looked at her. he started to feel traumatized just by seeing her unconscious, with blood all over her body. he wanted to go to her and help but as soon as he reached out his hand, everything went black.

"who are you?", minghao looked at everyone inside his room confusedly, causing his mom to cry even more.

it turned out that he's suffering from dissociative amnesia — wherein he has forgotten everything because of the traumatic event that happened to the both of them. his every memory went away, even the last person he saw.

she looked around the unfamiliar place; white walls, waiting chairs, glass windows and people in white clothes.

"excuse me?", she tried to ask an elder but that older woman ignored her.

"may i ask—", before she could even finish her sentence the men walked away.

she looked infront and there was a woman heading towards her, she smiled when she was already getting near, but her hope went away when that woman walked past through her, through her body.

she took a step back in shock and started to tremble. she looked at her palms and tried to hold on to a person who walked past her but it just went through.

for weeks she has been wandering everywhere and later found out that she has become a ghost. just knowing the fact that she's one, she couldn't help but feel devastated, she doesn't remember anything, doesn't know where to go nor has someone to talk to.

but those feelings went away, when she saw him. she was attracted to him after seeing him for the first time.
she thought ghosts doesn't have feelings but she has, and it was a first.

she has find out that he likes to go to the park, and so she followed him there everyday. she would just stare at him in amusement that she has almost memorized every details of his face.

it has been months of following him, she was happy indeed but she couldn't avoid the feeling of being disappointed.

but then one day... minghao was about to get hit by a car. she panicked and looked around, no one was trying to stop him, and they were all just shouting when they knew that he clearly couldn't hear anything.

and so she ran to him and tried to grab his wrist, though she thought it was impossible, she still did.

she gasped when she was able to hold him, and was shocked even more when he was looking at her. they both landed beside the road but it was only him who was given help.

she stared inside his room through the small glass window.

"what if it'll happen to him again?", his mom cried while holding his hand tightly, her husband just caressed her back and on the verge of crying too.

she took a step aside when a doctor came in but quickly went back to look at them again.

"fortunately, there wasn't any serious injuries and his head wasn't hit that hard. he should be okay by tomorrow.", his parents thanked the doctor before the doctor got out.

his mother caressed his head, and smiled at him in relief.
but then suddenly their secretary came in and said that the company need them right now. they didn't want to go but they had no choice, and so they entrusted their son to their secretary.

she was sure that, that accident happened to her for the first time, but she felt like it was a deja vu.

'weird, but i can't ignore it.'