From: Your Secret Admirer

Chapter Four

For Joyce — girl! i miss our conversations already :)

***

"So what do you think, Ky? Red chocolate or the milk chocolate?"

"Milk chocolate, Ry."

Ryan chose the heart shaped milk chocolate and the lady behind the counter placed it inside a cute red and gold box. It was still several months before Valentine's Day, six months to be exact, but Ryan was already acting as if he was running out of time.

So he dragged a poor and helpless me to the chocolate store several blocks away from our house one hot Saturday afternoon so he could buy Olivia her favorite brand of chocolate.

"I'm sure Olivia already likes you, Ry," I offered. "You're sweet, kind, possessor of an I.Q. of above average if not a genius... Not to mention good looking. What can a girl ask for more?"

Ryan suddenly blushed. He hated it every time I gave him compliments. "Yes, well. She's the kind of girl you wanted to have and keep for the rest of your life."

I did not just say that as Ryan's best friend. He was really good looking. He had this sort of boy-next-door aura —cute but totally not aware that he was cute and kinda shy but not really. Did I make sense? He's also tall and athletic (he's into basketball and was just waiting for the try outs to start). His short wavy dark locks complimented his coffee brown eyes. He kinda like reminded me of Luke.

"Here," he said as he handed me a paper bag.

"What's this?"

"My earlier bribe to you for coming with me."

I took out the chocolate and read the label. "It says here dark chocolate. I want the milk one."

"I thought you wanted to cut some pounds? Dark chocolate helps you with that."

"Really? Since when did you suddenly become an expert in dieting?"

"Just trying to help." He let out a sigh. A long one, as if he had been keeping it all in his chest. "And I really don't think you have any issues with your weight. You're just using it as an excuse."

Did he know? "I don't know what you mean, Ry."

"C'mon, Ky. I know exactly what you are doing. You're using this non-existent weight issue to cover the fact that the real reason why you make yourself believe that no guy will ever like you is because of the curse."

Wow, he's good. He should have been a psych major.

Ryan had nailed it —my few extra pounds did not really bother me at all. I was tall enough to fool every one that I had a voluptuous figure.

The truth, I was afraid to end up like my mom because of that curse. I was frightened at the thought of going the same ordeal as what mom had gone through. So yeah, I made the 'weight issue' as a cover story why no guy would ever want to date me. Because the truth was, I never allowed any guy to like me. And I never allowed myself to like any guy, with the exception of Mark back in fifth grade of course. But I was way over him.

"That curse isn't real, Ky," he insisted. "And someday, I'm going to prove it to you."

We parted ways when we reached a fork at the end of street. Ryan turned right and went on his way to visit Olivia. I turned left and started walking towards Mer's house.

I found her sitting outside on their front porch, thoroughly engrossed with what she was scribbling.

"Hey Mer! What's that you're doing?" I asked.

"A list of names of some guys."

"And what is that for?"

She glanced up at me and chewed on her lip. "Well, I decided to make you as my project."

I was totally clueless. What was she up to? "I don't think I get you."

"I was thinking, you really haven't had any real boyfriend. And you always help me find a perfect date. So, I wanted to return the favor and help you find a boyfriend. I mean, it's about time you should have one."

"I really appreciate you doing that for me, Mer. But I'm not looking for one. And Ryan was never my boyfriend, real or not. We just pretended to be an item to make Amanda jealous back in high school."

Ryan had a huge crush over Amanda when we were in our third year in high school. But Amanda, although it was very obvious that she, too, had a crush on Ryan, wouldn't allow him to ask her out. So Ryan asked me to pretend that I was so into him to make Amanda realize what a great guy he was. We pretended to be on a date, when in fact we were just stalking Amanda at the mall.

So anyway, I remembered telling him, "Promise me you won't fall in love with me." Of course I was joking that time. But really, he had the gall to laugh at my face and say, "You've been watching too much chick flicks, Ky."

Amanda fell for our bait and they started hanging out after that.

And just to test the waters, I found myself asking him one day, "Did you fall in love with me?"

He gave me a fat "NO" accompanied by an over exaggerate guffaw. Guess falling in love with your best friend only happens in the movies.

"Hey Kyla," Mer said, pulling me out of my memory tour, "what exactly do you like in a guy?"

That was simple. I made sure the kind of guy I was looking for was very hard to find. It was a precaution I made so I would never find him so I would never be the curse's victim. "Well, he has to be intelligent, charming, kinda like the boy-next-door type. But he has to be into sports, any sports. And he has to have this mysterious vibes around him, like you think you already know him but not really. It wouldn't hurt if he knows how to fight to protect me, but not too much —a sort of bad boy but not really. And he has to be a fan of my cupcakes."

"But your cupcakes are horrible! No offense."

"Yes I know that. But he has to like it any way."

"So let me get this straight. You want a boy-next-door guy, who's a bit of a bad boy and likes to engage in fists fights, is into sports and doesn't mind eating your poisonous cupcakes?"

"Oh, and he has to know how to play the guitar," I added.

"Right. I don't think this guy exists. Can't we just settle for cute intelligent guy?"

I shook my head. "No. He has to have those qualities." I am so destined to be a spinster.

Mer let out a sigh. "Okay. If that is what you really want..." Then she started jotting down all the details I gave her.