Little Rascal :)

Life and potential changes

Hi I'm Essie :)
I live with my mum and dad in a house in England. I attend a special school nearby, they don't bother telling me anything or teach me anything about the world so I have to make do by listening to what others say around me and figure out the rest from there.

Oh did I mention? I'm Autistic, as well as a few other things but I won't bore you with that. I don't tend to talk much, as I struggle with speaking. I understand everything people say to me though lots of new information at once is a lot to process. As I've grown older I have gotten better at speaking but I mainly choose not to, as not talking means that the grown ups think I'm on the "more severe" end of the special needs spectrum which means I get away with a lot of things haha!

If I talked like you do then I wouldn't get away with a lot. Such as: Causing lots of mischief, being allowed to use my dummy everyday as comfort, play with toys, drink from my sippy cup. Climb up behind the cupboard in the livingroom, stuffing as many pillows and blankets as I can behind to make my own nest and then sit in my nest watching the world around me in a cosy ball of comfort. (Okay that last bit I do get told off sometimes but because I do it so often my parents have just let me get on with it now.)

So yea it's rubbish that I don't get told stuff or taught anything important as they think I'm too stupid to understand, but like I said, it does have it's benefits.

We live in a world ruled by these mutated kind of humans called Titans. From what I've heard from others is that they are 8ft tall (whatever that means) (you've got to remember that the only things I get taught in special school is what colours are and how to sign in Makaton, which is a form of sign language.) Titans apparently live forever but can't have children and so they long to care for a person they can call their child. After a world war which the titans won, they made a peace covenant with the humans saying they essentially rule the world but will let the humans live as they please. the only main difference is that everyone gets monitored to see who will be fit to live as a child for the titans.

When humans get chosen they have to leave their family as they get transported to an adoption centre to be matched up to the right titan mummies and daddies. Apparently there are different leagues of adoption centres which means that there are adoption centres specifically for those high up and in the royal family to adopt humans and there are adoption centres for the more common league of titans.

See for a girl that hardly talks knows her stuff right! It's amazing what you learn when you listen to other people's conversations, and of course since they think you're dumb as poop they will happily gossip and talk to each other spilling all the juicy information even when you're right in front of them.

Right so enough with the introductions. Let's begin:

It was the middle of June and getting close to my 21st birthday. I was attending my special school as usual and doing my normal weekly routine however, something seemed different. I saw some mysterious shadows every now and then when I would go outside. I can't tell if they are watching me or someone else since they keep hiding far away hidden in a alley or in a car wearing sunglasses, something like that.
I secretly acknowledged them but didn't let their presence interrupt me, after all there are much more interesting things in life such as swinging from the monkey bars in the playground!

One week went by and my parents were starting to notice the shadows too. They kept getting super worried and were starting to not let me go outside anymore, keeping the curtains at the front of the house closed (they would've closed all the curtains but I am not one for living in darkness so I kept trying to climb and pull the curtains down until they came to the conclusion that as long there is enough light in the house, it will help me keep calm. This was all really annoying as I love the great outdoors! I want to swing, run around in the wild and cause havoc by climbing the neighbours apple tree again.

It was the weekend now and a rainy Saturday at that. I watched out the window doors (doors that have glass panels in them). As the rain fell, hearing the pitter patter noises they make. I was about to go into daydream land when mum got my attention. She did this by saying my name and clapping her hands to the rhythm of the hello song (yes the one Mr tumble does from something special). My teachers and parents always do the hello song with me when they want to tell me something important which is why this had brought my full attention. In the past these important announcements have normally been about us going on holiday soon or there being a change to my school timetable, needing to go to the hairdresser or dentist etc. I like it when they tell me this stuff even if I'm not happy about the news itself.  As they are big and challenging things for me so it's good to have a heads up so that I can mentally prepare myself for either change or torture (or both).

I already had a feeling that this announcement was going to be something to do with them noticing the shadows, and I was right as mum got out my picture symbol book and showed me relevant pictures like family, travel, change, new, people etc. Mum told me an extremely simplified version of describing what titans are and what they will do if they "discover me".
(Despite me being over the age of 18 my parents and teachers still refer to see me as a child as well as my classmates. That's the norm with the special needs community, talk about patronising).

"Essie my love, we need to tell you something. There are these big people called titans. Titans like children like you and you need to be a secret girl to make sure they don't take you from us. If they get you, you will no longer see me and daddy, but will get a new daddy or mummy and a new life".

And here I am thinking "mum you seriously are freaking me out just spill the beans and stop simplifying everything!" But of course I can't say such a complicated sentence like that otherwise I will break my cover and possibly give my parents a heart attack as they find out they never knew my intelligence level in the first place. So instead I whine worriedly and make grabby hands at her before crying.

Mum cuddles me and soothes me saying stuff like how they love me and will always do their best for me. I knew this and I love them too. I think I need to start mentally preparing myself for what mum said as I think she's right. My life is about to completely and utterly change, wether I like it or not.