Untouchable

Elephant's Memory (S3E16)

"I'm proud of you," Spencer said, speaking up for the first time on their drive.

"You're proud of me?" she asked, startled.

"Yes," he argued. "Look at you! You've got a car now. Twenty-four years old, teaching two college classes and working for the FBI."

"I'm more proud of you!" she shot back. "A full year sober! I can't imagine how difficult it has been for you."

"Thank you for coming with me." Spencer sunk slightly in the passenger seat.

After the death of Ryan Phillips in front of the two of them, Spencer had been struggling with his cravings again. He hadn't relapsed, of course, but he was plagued by nightmares and a lack of motivation. When he admitted this to Lydia, she'd suggested he look up some support meetings nearby. Tonight was going to be his first time attending the Beltway Clean Cops group.

"I'm more than happy to come along!"

The two of them sat in the back of the room, listening calmly to different people talk about their situations. Spencer had just gotten the courage to take the stage when Lydia got a text from Hotch.

Briefing in 30. Can't get ahold of Reid. Please tell him.

Lydia dropped her head into her hands. Could it not wait just a few more moments? He had barely started speaking aloud and Lydia could see him trying to ignore the buzzing phone in his pocket.

"Hi. Uh... My name's, uh, Spencer, and I'm uh... I don't really know what I am."

"Hello Spencer," the crowd greeted.

"This is my- This is my first meeting," he sputtered, his eyes locking with Lydia's every few seconds. "I guess I, uh... I know I had a... a problem with Dilaudid, but... I stopped. My girlfriend helped me to stop about a year ago. I thought it was over, but recently I've really been... your literature uses the term 'craving'. It started about a month ago. A- A suspect was murdered in front of me. A kid. And I thought that I could save that kid, but I couldn't, and... Sorry." He pulled out his phone, rejecting another call from their boss. "I've seen a lot of that stuff before, but for some reason that kid's face is really, uh... stuck in my brain. You know? It's really- I can't... And I want to forget... about him. And I just want to escape."

Once again, he pulled his phone from his pocket and stepped away from the microphone, mumbling his apologies. Lydia got up and ran around to the side door to follow him out.

"I'm sorry," she said as they met up and started walking to the car. "I didn't want to interrupt you-"

"It's fine," he breezed. "Let's just... get this over with."

~ ~ ~

"Sorry we're late," Spencer announced as he and Lydia jogged into the conference room..

"Do I want to know what you two were up to?" Morgan teased.

Lydia was quick to cover Spencer's secret for him. "You sound as if going to the movies is scandalous."

"Movies, hm?" Rossi joined. "Tell us what the movie was about."

"Wouldn't know. We didn't get to finish it."

Both boys gave the couple a look. Spencer started to shrink in his seat, but Lydia kept up her stance, not wanting them to push for anymore answers.

"I know it's late," Hotch interrupted. "I know we're tired, but we've got two dead cops."

"Alright." JJ opened up the file in front of her and continued briefing the team, pointing to what looked to be a massive house fire displayed on the scene. "The resident, Rod Norris, was DOA. They're still trying to ID the remains of the second victim, whom they believe is his 16-year-old daughter Jordan. From the condition of the remains, she would have had to have been inside the house, close to the source of the blast."