Tears Of Sorrow

It's a kind of tired, that sleep can't fix

"Elijah? How are you here right now?" I jumped "Elijah? Like-" "That creep. Yeah" I finished "Yo, what the hell are you doing at my house?" Jessie asked "How did you know I was here?" "I have my ways" Elijah answered "We're leaving now" Elijah said grabbing my arm "She's not going anywhere with you" "She's my girlfriend bro, she-" "Ex- girlfriend" I interrupted "Ex?" Elijah asked "Uh-huh" I replied "Since when?" "Since I left, Elijah I left for a reason. And I told you not to follow me, or come looking for me, or anything" I said "Well, you know me, I don't listen" "No, I don't know you" I stated "What?" He said "The Elijah I know, would've respected my wishes and wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have to demand him to leave me alone. Ever since your whole Fiasco a few years back, you haven't left me alone" "Yeah, because I need to protect you" He said "I DON'T NEED PROTECTING!" "I'd like to remind you that I am 3 years older than you, so no. I don't need protecting and especially not from you. So just go" "No." He said sternly "Elijah Go." I demanded "NO!" "Dude go" Jessie said grabbing his arm "Don't touch me!" He yelled before hitting Jessie "Elijah! What the hell!" I said "You're the problem, I wouldn't be here if you hadn't left" He said getting him my face "We're leaving" " I'm not" "Get out that gate, before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself" He threatened grabbing my hand "Don't touch her" Jessie said standing between me and him. "Both of you stop" "Stay away from her" Jessie said "yeah or what" "STOP!" I yelled, that time they actually stopped. "This is ridiculous, okay. Everything would be fine if you were to just leave Elijah" I stated "And I said No" "Fine, then. I know how to make you leave" "And how's that" He smirked "We're done" I said "What. No-" "I don't want you here. I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear from you, I don't want to know you. I just want you to go" I explained "Leave Elijah. Please." I said starting to cry "Fine, we're done" He said walking away. He walked through the backyard gate and slammed it shut and as soon as the door shut I dropped. "Hey, hey. Shh, shh, it's okay. It's okay. I got you, I got you" Jessie said hugging me. It hurt me so bad to do that. Not just my heart but it hurt my whole body to have to do that. I was praying that I would be able to do this and go back and nothing would change, but now everything has changed.

I was thinking that this time in my life, 12 years after the biggest thing happened to me, I would have peace. But I can't have peace, that doesn't exist in the world I live in. I have to live in a world where every decision impacts the type of person I am. So, with that. Does that make me a better person, or a monster?