Will They Be One Again?

~20~

Annika and Shivaay were still there in the park. They needed to talk, literally a lot. The emotions, the feelings, the situations, the lives, the pain, the everything.

"How was it? Like everything?", he asked pulling her closer, keeping his hands around her shoulder.

She placed her head on his shoulder, "I..I can't even describe how was it. It felt like everything bad that was possible was happening to me, all at the same time"

"I don't think that any of them would have been a problem if I would have been there beside you", he kissed her hair. He also had things to share. Things he felt.

"The day I discovered those adoption papers in Mom's closet, it felt like my whole life was a lie. My existence was a lie. But the other side, I was glad that Mom and Dad had been so loving my entire life. But at last, I didn't knew how to disclose that to you", a tear fell from her eye.

"When I got to know about it, I felt betrayed. I thought that you lied but even you had no idea about your adoption. Then all the thought process which was running in my mind came rushing. I felt that it was wrong. Mom and Dad, they were wrong. But in actual, I was wrong", he comforted her.

"Then I expected you to understand me and support me emotionally. I needed a shoulder to cry on. You avoided me as if I was a nothing to you. Then Mom called me to Alwaani Mansion", she recalled.

"I was in a major of conflict. My heart wanted to be with you but my mind and thoughts wanted to stay away. I didn't wanted to confront our relation that is why I stayed away", he told her.

"You definitely came, but not to lend the shoulder, but to get the divorce papers signed. It was gruesome. I didn't wanted to sigh them but then you said some stuffs about Mom amd Dad which triggered me", she sighed.

"I know Mom and Dad are everything to you. You loved them even more after getting to know how much they loved you even when you were adopted at first", he caressed her back.

"Then I flew to Sydney. I thought that I will start afresh. But I couldn't leave any of your memories here. I carried every stuff, every memory I had of you. Like the pen you gave me to sign in bangalore, every picture we ever clicked together, every chat we had, literally everything possible", she smiled faintly.

"Even I have them. You know the hotel passkey, the perfume, all the pictures I clicked. After you left, you say I willingly pushed you away, I was getting detached. Everything in the house, our room, the office, it used to remind me of you. I tried to pull myself back but no, it was just you and our memories. I then went to Mom and Dad after realising how much I loved you. Being the good parents they are, they opted to keep me away from you. I realised that adopted is just a word. Highlighting the love they have with you, it doesn't change anything", he recalled about the past.

"Armaan, he became my only support there. I didn't knew that I was pregnant back then. You know all the chaos and proceedings of divorce, it actually slipped out of my mind that my body was changing. Then I took the test after Armaan's suggestion. It was positive. I couldn't believe it. All I knew is that I wanted it. Later, I got to know that their were two boys. Two mini versions of you", she laughed for a while.

He laughed with her, "I wish I would have been there with you at that moment. God, I missed so good things. But that is what I deserve for what I did"

"You know, Shivaay, I needed you so badly during that phase. The morning sickness, the throwing up, constant body and head aches, the cravings, all would have been so easy in vase you would have been with me. It was tremendous", she gulped.

"I am sorry", he tried to comfort her. But sorry doesn't change the things.

"The delivery. It was so bad so bad so bad. It pain, the contractions, I thought that I won't make it upto my children. It was so so terrible, you can't even think of it. It appeared like every bone in my body broke. I needed to hold my hand and tell me that it's gonna be okay. I need to fight. But there also, I was all alone", she cried more.

"Hey, I too wish that I would have been there with you", he pulled her tightly for the hug.

"Then comes the greatest challenge. Nurturing them as a single mother. It was difficult. They used fo question everytime where is our father, when he is gonna come, will he come at the annual function this time, will he be there at our dental operation today, will he come at the father's day celebration and what not. And the only reply I used to have was I don't know. They used to crave to look at any picture of yours or just to have a word with you", she told.

Shivaay was getting emotional at his mistakes. He did wrong, not just to her but to his kids as well. He didn't knew what so say.

"Trust me Shivaay, if Armaan wouldn't have been there beside me, I would have lost long back. He used to take care of me, treat Anvaay and Anaay as his own children. Dropping them to school, looking after them when I used to be at work, helping them with homework, he was literally my greatest support system. He was at every place which was supposed fo be yours", she told me.

"I should probably thank him", he said.

"You should. He wanted me to marry him but Shivaay, after the divorce, you took my guts to fall in love over again and trust anyone else. It took me major chunk of time to trust Armaan too. All I used to think is about you. I never had intentions of loving someone else. I didn't even wanted it but your exit made my life miserable as hell. Like living hell", she told truthfully.

"Annika I--"

"You don't need to apologise, Shivaay. It was really important for me to pour my feelings and thought out which were bubbling inside me since past nine years. I can't survive further without saying what I feel. I used to love you but I didn't used to like you", she said.

He knew that she was right. Surely it was a bad feeling but he deserves to listen.

"I don't know if that is a thing that you love someone but not like them, but this is what I used to feel. Even today, I kind of not like you. Everytime I try to forget it, everything comes back and haunts me like ghosts", she moved away from me.

"I understand you", he was saying the truth.

"I am ready to start a fresh but not instantly. I need to give each other more time before I am completely sure that you won't do what you did years back. I don't want to mess my and my children's future anymore", she told him.

"I agree with you", he told.

She nodded and smiled, "Probably, we should get back home. Mom and Dad must be waiting"

"Shall I drop you?", he asked.

"Nah", she came forward and kissed his cheek, "Happy birthday once again"

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