My Little Ember

The Box

It's been one week since I've moved into my new home. I've designed the flat well it's simple and cozy, nothing too flashy or extravagant.

I haven't heard from him since our meeting. I'm afraid I did something wrong but what? Thoughts parade through my mind.

'Did I not make him proud?'.

'Is he bored of me?'.

'...Did he find someone else?'.

My heart pounds at that last thought, he couldn't have I'm a fucking delight! My negative assumptions are interrupted by a knock on the door, I stand up from the sofa and open the door.

Nothing.

There's not a person in sight, my eyebrows furrow and as I'm about to close the door I see something on the floor. A box, I pick it up and glance around one last time before closing the door.

Placing the beautiful black box with red designs on the coffee table in the living room, I sit down and start to bite at my thumbnail. I see a note on top of the box that I unfold it to read.

My little ember,

I am sorry for the late delay, but I hope my present for you makes up for it.

This heart is pure like you.

From your beloved.

That's all he has to say? What does he mean by heart? This better make up for it. I unwrap the bow and open the lid, when I do I freeze in shock.

It's a heart. An actual human heart, it looks old especially with the dried up blood that gives it a brown colour, the smell is horrible, absolutely revolting. I bolt up from the sofa to the bathroom and I throw up, my body shakes uncontrollably. When there's nothing more to throw up I pull myself up using the sink to stand up.

I lean against the sink and attempt to process what I just saw. I'm in disbelief I knew he had bad thoughts like I do but I never knew he could do anything like that. He killed someone, were they innocent? Or were they bad? I turn towards the sink and rinse out my mouth.

I need to get rid of it. What the fuck did he want me to do with it?! Just keep it on the fucking shelf?! I take deep breaths trying to calm myself down, then I slowly walk with careful steps back to the box.

I close the lid without looking directly at the heart. I look around in a frenzy, I eventually have an idea. I run to the kitchen to get some clingfilm, ripping it off I go back to the living room infront of the box.

Opening the lid and holding my breath, I pick it up with the clingfilm then I quickly wrap it up then take it to the kitchen. Walking to the side of the living room I take out the toolkit thats resting on the bottom of the clear shelf of the bookcase, opening it up and taking our the hammer I reluctantly walk back to the kitchen.

I've placed the heart on the chopping board, I lift the hammer and smash it repeatedly, when I'm done the organ looks squishy and flat, I throw it in the bin.

Speed walking to the living room I throw the box on the floor and stomp on it like it's my worst enemy, I grunt with every stomp. The box that I once thought was beautiful is now destroyed, opening the window I throw it out and shout.

"Meet me at Ambrose tomorrow at five!" I definitely made sure that my tone was not impressed, before I slam the window shut I hear a faint 'shut up!' I don't know if he was around but I need a fucking word with him. I walk to the bathroom to splash my face and that's when I see myself.

A lost girl.

I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know what happened to me, it's his fucking fault! I used to be happy and carefree, I ignored my brothers insults the best I could, I thought my parents loved me I was happy.

Now look at me, I pushed my brother down the stairs, I purposely my mother an allergic reaction that sent her to the hospital. I've been receiving letters from a fucking psycho serial killer that I actually enjoyed!

I need to stop.

It's over and I'm going to make it very fucking clear for him. Storming to my bedroom I rip out a clear page from my diary that I recently purchased I grab the pen and write like a mad woman.

To my 'beloved',

You sent me a heart! What the fuck is wrong with you? And what the hell did you expect me to do with it keep it on the fucking shelf for display?! This is sick.

You are sick.

We are far from alike, yes we both have thoughts normal people shouldn't have but I'm not a fucking killer.

You want me to be like you, you don't want to be the only one with those dark evil thoughts, you feel alone and you want to drag me down into my own darkness and you want us to 'rule together'.

Well I am not your fucking queen and you are far from my king.

Leave me alone and stay the fuck out of my life!

I slam the pen down and wipe my forehead with the back of my hand that's slightly covered with sweat. Folding up the note I place it into my work top pocket then walk back into the living room.

'He better fucking be there tomorrow'.

My legs feel weak as I walk into the kitchen, turning on the kettle I've come to the realisation that caffeine is my coping mechanism even though I've thrown up not that long ago. I plop on the sofa with the warm beverage in my hand I put on my comfort show.

I wish I could just live a normal happy life, but sadly not all wishes can come true.