{Alycia Debnam-Careyxyou} Home Behind the Desktop

27

The bell rang, and I had stayed in the same position for the entire class. I didn't dare lift my head, not once, I couldn't afford to give a single hint of what may have happened today. My mind was slipping back into its old ways, keeping everything in, and not letting a single soul know about the horrors that went on within my skull. My legs bounced underneath the desk, both from discomfort and worry, as my brain reeled with thoughts of my inevitable future, and how I was going to handle his return.

My family was known for telling lies, so I know that Jenny's threats could have been nothing more than just words, but this time, I saw the truth behind it. He was coming back, and one thing I knew for sure about my father, was that he always gets his revenge. There's nothing that you can do, no mistake that you can make, even the smallest of things, that won't be met with retaliation. It's how he works, and how he's always been. I don't expect anything less, if he comes back, so I needed to be ready..

As soon as the final footsteps walked out of the class, I heard the door shut, and I braced myself for the questions that were to come. Heels clicked against the ground, getting closer before sitting in the chair beside mine. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop my legs that bounced uncontrollably under the table. My nerves rose, making my pain follow close behind. I heard the chair scoot closer before feeling a hand placed on my back, my breaths became shallow, slowly picking up in speed, but I kept it quiet, letting it go unnoticed.

"Y/n, talk to me.." Her tone was desperate, begging me to explain myself but I couldn't. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, my mind was suffocating me, stealing the words from my mouth, and locking them away.

"Can we please just go home?" I felt my voice crack, and I squeezed my eyes in frustration, cursing myself for allowing my words to slip. There was a moment of silence, while her fingers carefully dragged on top of my hoodie, and I absorbed the feeling, hoping that the touch would be enough to heal my broken thoughts.

"Okay.." she stood from the desk as her hand moved to my upper arm, directing me to stand with her. I finally lifted my head, but not enough to show my face, and pushed my hands against the desk to stand. When I got to my feet, I stood there, still leaning on my hands, as my body got used to the pain from standing. Soft fingers found their way underneath my chin, slowly lifting my head up to hers, but my eyes refused to follow. Her head tilted out of the corner of my eye.

"What happened here?" her thumb gently grazed my cracked lip, my face barely twitching from the contact. I took a deep breath, furrowing my eyebrows as I forced myself to stand up straight. She didn't say anything in response, and I finally lifted my eyes to be met with serious ones, scanning between mine to try and read me. I bit my lip and dropped my head again, not wanting her to see me like this but she quickly pulled my chin back up, the concern on her face building.

"Did someone hurt you?" her voice was low, and serious, causing my stomach to do flips that made me feel sick. I shook my head against her hand, letting out a shaky breath, and her eyes softened. She dropped her head to the ground, biting the inside of her cheek in thought, before looking back at me and letting out a sigh.

"Okay," she whispered, "let's go home."

The ride home was quiet, and I kept my head leaned back on the headrest as I stayed facing my right. Drops of rain ran glided across the window, and I allowed it to be a distraction from my mind. 

The drops were small, and insignificant on their own, moving and sliding in any direction as it pleased. It was free by itself, but the more drops it collected as it moved about, the faster it would go and it would seek more and more to fill itself. Life was so much better when you had people with you, collecting hearts that care about one another, allowing you to grow and blossom. I wanted life to be this simple, I wished for it, to live like a pure drop of rain, and have people in my life without worry. But I was polluted with oil, and all I could ever do was cast the other drops away.