My Willful flame

Chapter Nineteen

Laus' expression suddenly changed to concern.

"Elora," he called desperately like that little boy back in the cave.

I wanted so desperately to not think about it because it would ruin everything. That pain would change me into someone scary. But I already felt it, itching beneath the surface. I couldn't change this outcome. I couldn't deny what I knew.

"Don't pretend." I cried, shaking my head. 

"Tell me I am lying Lau."

"What?" he said again. He reached for me but I backed away.

"Aleron spoke words he shouldn't have known. I never thought of it. I never...oh." I caught my breath, wanting to claw at my chest. To rip out my heart before I could speak the horrible ugly truth. How dare I even think it?

"It was you all this time? Oh, gods." I began sobbing unable to look at him through the blur of tears.

"Elora you are scaring me. What's wrong with you?"

"It was you!" I screamed at him as he tried to inch closer.

He stopped. Saying nothing he just looked at me with an emptiness that sealed it.

"You were the spy," I whispered. "Aleron knew things, personal things that he used against me, to convict me and shoot me!" I said so loudly my voice echoed. "And all this time it was you feeding that to him. You told him about Edmund. Where we lived. What I looked like. Who I was?" I cried out, absolutely gutted by the truth being pieced together.

"I can't...I...Please Elora don't," he begged as if he couldn't bear to hear it.

"Did you tell him about us? Gods," I gripped my stomach, the nausea taking over, making my legs weak. I steadied myself against a tree. "Did he make you be with me?" I asked disgusted.

His lips closed tightly together and he frowned as tears clogged up his eyes.

"Oh my god," I cried and threw my head back, clutching my stomach.

I looked back at him, his eyes watching me with a grief that I had never seen before.

"I will explain, please, please just breathe Elora." He reached for me.

"Don't!" I screamed and suddenly I was murderous once again. The cold blade was pressed against his throat and my hand was holding it. His hands were up and he almost looked surprised. Maybe he thought I could really do it, end his life right there. And maybe I would.

"You are a liar," I whispered almost unable to control my shaking hand. Blood started to drip from under the blade but he didn't flinch.

"You are not a killer." He said carefully, convincing himself of the hidden lie.

"I am. I have been one for a long time. This will be nothing. It will do nothing to me." I sneered with an absolute rage that surprised him.

His eyes widened and I could tell he believed me.

"I knew you were different. And maybe that was all him, maybe it was your choice, but you can't do this Elora. You won't make it." He said low and steady. His eyes gouging into mine. 

The rage bubbled inside me. He knew everything about me, and suddenly I knew nothing about him.

"Killing you won't be what destroys me," I said coldly trying to contain the sobs that rose inside me. "Hearing the truth from your lips will."

"So what? You are deciding now what you can handle? What do you want to live with? My truth or my death?"

I said nothing. I would have to choose now. Him or the truth. Which one could I live with and which one would I bury? Either way, I would loose.

"Either way you lose, right?" He said as a tear fell from my cheek.

"Let me make it easy." He said. Before I could react he grabbed my hand, twisting it just right that I spun on my heels and his hand pushed my back. I fell forward.

My rage returned and I swung back the knife in hand ready to stab his heart out.

He dodged it, and I swung my fist instead. He caught it easily. Then using his whole body he twisted my arm around my throat and spun me once again. My back was against him with my arm wrapped around my throat, he held my hand in place so I couldn't move. I raised my other hand with the knife, ready to stab backwards. He blocked it again and I was left standing there realising what he was doing. He had me in his embrace, unable to move, as he had restricted both my hands.

He was trained for this. For combat. He wasn't that boy from the cave. He had never been. This was the real him. A trained spy. How many had he given up? How many had he killed in the name of the general? How much blood was on his hand?

"I won't let you choose." He suddenly whispered into my ear as I tried struggling from his grip. Shouts began. They were coming, the men. They must have heard my shouting because I could hear them getting closer.

"My love for you was real. Remember that." He whispered again before letting me go the minute they all appeared. Andres looked confused and drew his weapon, unsure what the situation was. Lau pushed me forward and I stumbled to the ground. Andres looked at my face, saw the tears, and aimed his weapon at Lau, and though he was confused he was ready to defend me whatever the situation was. 

I looked forward, watching as Lau ran between the trees and then back at Andres. 

"Don't!" I yelled and rose fast, blocking Andres's vision of him, before he could make a bad situation worse. 

"What happened?" He asked confused as I watched Lau disappear.

"He is working for the general." I stammered and looked at Andres, watching his face turn from confusion to disbelief.

"He betrayed us," I said defeated and took a step back. Andres caught me and steadied my balance.

"He is a traitor," I whispered exhausted, wanting to fade away.

My world had collapsed. My past was a lie. The present was full of grief. And my future never looked darker.

I couldn't contain the thoughts. Everything we had ever done, every conversation, everything was a lie.

A lie from the very beginning.