I Loved You Before I Met You (New Version)

30

   After Kyle leaves to go to his car Lauren asks "are you okay?" I just shrug my shoulders because I really don't know what to say but I really feel like freaking out over all this. I can't believe I never knew I had a brother. I can't believe mom never told me and why wasn't I put up for adoption too?

   Kyle comes back in with the file and gives it to Lauren. She takes it and moves over to the loveseat to sit beside me so we can both look at it. Her arm brushes against mine and I can't help but suck in a deep breath. This is not the time for me to get these feelings right now. She makes me feel everything all at once and she doesn't even realize it.

   Lauren glances at me "you okay?" I breathe out and just nod my head without looking at her. She opens the file so we can both look at it.  After spending about 15 minutes looking it over we sat in silence. We both start looking at all the information in front of us again including the letter from my mom. As I finish the letter for the second time, we hear the door from the garage into the house open and close.

   Lauren excuses herself to go to the kitchen since she knows that it is Mike. I hear muffled talking then I hear Lauren tell him that he needs to get to the living room as she comes around the corner. As Mike comes into the living room he looks at me then he looks over at Kyle and he stops. He just stares at Kyle then looks over at me then back at Kyle. Mike stands there quietly until Lauren breaks the silence, "Mike meet your son, Kyle."

   Mike snaps his head around looking at Lauren like she is crazy. Before he has a chance to say anything I say "don't try to deny it. We already have the proof in his adoption file. Including his birth certificate which has Baby Boy Adams listed for his name, Sara Elizabeth Collins for his mother and Michael Paul Adams for his father. There was also a letter mom had written that was put in his file. Plus he looks exactly like me." He looks at me then I ask "How could you or mom never tell me I had a brother? Why was he put up for adoption but I wasn't?"

   Mike sits down on the couch. "For fucks sake, it's non of your business." I start to get up but Lauren grabs my hand and shakes her head no.

   Mike groans, "You want to know so bad, fine. Your damn mother got pregnant when she was 16 and I was 18 at the time. The baby was born on my birthday when I turned 19. My parents and I wanted her to have an abortion but she didn't want to and her parents wouldn't allow that either even though we weren't ready to be parents. Because Sara was suffering from postpartum depression and her parents' health wasn't the best, my parents and I convinced her and her parents to put him up for adoption after birth. My parents wanted me to have a future and a career."

   Mike leans back against the couch and shakes his head. "I don't understand how he's here. My parents paid damn good money for it to be a closed adoption as soon as he was born. His adopted parents named him and Sara was to never know where he was. I didn't even know where he was. Sara hated me and my parents but I convinced her to forgive me then at some point I guess she had quit taking birth control and got pregnant with you. I think she did that just in spite."

   "Kyle is sitting right here so stop acting like he's invisible. I can't believe you. Even at 18 you were a manipulative asshole. Hell you were probably a cheater then too. I can't fucking stand the sight of you. I can't hear anymore of this and I definitely don't want to be around you."
Before walking out of the living room I looked at Kyle "I'm sorry I just can't do this right now but it is nice to meet you. Maybe we can hang out sometime and get to know each other. This is a lot to take in and will take time but it's pretty cool that I have a brother. Let me see your phone and I will put my number in."

   Kyle gives me his phone and I enter my number. "Text me so I have your number. Be glad you don't know that asshole, he's not worth it." I head upstairs to my room before anyone can say anything else to me. I know it is going to be hard to sleep tonight. I strip down to my underwear and crawl into bed. I just want to go to sleep and maybe wake up realizing this was all a bad dream. How could my life get anymore fucked up than it is right now? Why didn't my mom ever tell me I had a brother? What didn't Aunt Mary ever tell me?

   I actually dozed off but I'm soon woken up by a door slamming. I hear Mike yelling, then he and Lauren argue back and forth a while. Soon he leaves slamming the door behind him then I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and their bedroom door shut. I wonder what all was said after I came upstairs? I wonder if Lauren gave him the divorce papers.

   I want to go check on her but I don't want to bother her either. Fuck it, I need to know she is okay. I leave my room and walk to their bedroom not even putting any clothes on. I don't care about that right now I just have to check on Lauren. I softly knock and hear a quiet "come in." Lauren is standing at her closet and turns to look at me when I open the door. Her eyes involuntarily take in my bra and underwear clad figure and she quickly looks away from me as her face turns red.

   "I kind of heard you and Mike arguing. Are you okay?" I slowly take a step forward but don't want to suffocate her by going to close.

   Lauren sighs "I'm sorry you heard us, I wish you hadn't. I don't want you worrying about what goes on between me and Mike." Lauren runs her hands through her hair and turns back to the closet.

   I take another step closer to her "you can't help what I hear or what I think about."

   Lauren nods her head and says "I know, my head is just not in a good place right now Kyler. I just...." She shakes her head as her voice breaks.

   I place my hand on Lauren's back and ask "do you want to talk about it?"

   Lauren starts shaking her head. "No" she refuses and starts to move away from me but I reach out and carefully grab her arm stopping her.

   I wrap my arms around Lauren in a hug and whisper "you don't have to pretend with me, I'm here for you." I feel Lauren's body shaking as she starts crying. I hear her silent sobs and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I just want to make everything better for her. She wraps her arms around me as she cries and tightens her grip.

   Suddenly Lauren breaks free from my hug and wipes her eyes as she backs away from me. "I'm sorry. I just... I need to be alone" she says as she brings her hands to her face.

   I step towards her again "you don't have to hide from me or hide your pain. I'm here for you Lauren." I watch as she sits on the side of the bed propping her elbows on her legs and resting her head in her hands.

   Lauren sniffles "Kyler... I... thank you but I just... I need to be alone for now. Please." She looks up at me with pleading eyes. I see the sadness in her eyes and my heart breaks for her.

   I nod my head in understanding as I back up to the door. "I'm here if you change your mind." I glance back at Lauren one more time then close her bedroom door and go back to my room. I wish I could be there for her and show her I care. I have never seen her so broken before and I hated seeing her like that.