Because Of You

Chapter 39

"Please, hear me out." Carmen said in a panicked tone, Levi didn't think she would lose her neutrality, especially in front of Sannes. It only showed how severe the situation was for both of them.

On the one hand, Levi was shocked and hurt by the fact the person closest to him wanted to kill him since they'd met, and on the other, Carmen hated how the situation was being misread - there was far more to it. Before anyone could begin their arguement, the section commander appeared on the basement stairs, walking down to see the two soldiers. They were completely in the dark to what had just happened, oblivious to the tension in the room.

"You get anything else from him?" The section commander wondered, seeming quite content with their small victory.

"No." Carmen replied.

Hange grabbed the MP, taking him from Levi. "Ouch, thats a nasty cut you've got there Sannes." They noticed, but the man couldn't converse, too much pain and a lack of function.

"Hange, you should set up a plan upstairs with the others." The captain ordered, at first, Hange was confused that he was separating the group, but soon saw that the two looked as though their conversation was interrupted. Hange smiled, winking at them. "Okay, don't take too long though." They said cheerfully as they slammed the door behind them.

Leaving Carmen and Levi alone.

The woman wanted to speak, wanted to plead her case, but words were lost through her misery. Everything she had built over the years was falling apart. "I'll answer anything you have for me, just know, that I wouldn't-"

"How long?" He interrupted her. "How long have you wanted me dead?"

That wasn't right, because technically, she didn't want him dead anymore. "Since I joined the cadet corps." She replied hesitantly.

"Why didn't you." It was the most prominent question running through his head. Carmen had so many opportunities to kill him, she could have killed him before, when he first denied her access to Sannes, but she didn't. Things weren't adding up.

"At first, I couldn't kill you because the timing wouldn't work. A new set of cadets enrol and suddenly the captain dies - it would be too obvious." She shook her head, her first reason sounded old and unnatural.

"And then I asked you to join my squad. Surely that was a better opportunity." He pressed the topic, wanting to crack her again. He'd gotten so much information out of her last time, but this was far more personal.

"Petra and Oruo set me free." She repeated, Levi should have known that those two would play a role in her schemes. "She was in love with you, you know? And Oruo looked up to you. I couldn't ruin their moment after you chose them for your squad. They wouldn't have gotten over it."

Her excuse left so many questions unanswered. She had years to complete her mission, and yet she decided against it, she could have easily gotten away with it after prolonging his death for so long, no one would have suspected her.

"And after that?" He asked, figuring that there was more to it.

"As strict as you were..." She began, admitting to something she didn't think she would. "I liked being in your squad. You were a breeze of fresh air after my last leaders. The more time I spent as your subordinate, the more I realised that I didn't want to go back. Life was simple, I was free, and I had a family." She added on, seeing Levi's features ease. "But, when they died... I nearly lost my self again."

He knew what she was referring to. After the squads death, she acted out of character, she had intent to kill and could have easily done so. They were both injured, but with her pain insensitivity, killing him would have been easy.

"So thats why you attacked me?" He assumed. "You were lost, so you tried to complete your mission and find yourself again. That whole time, I thought you blamed me for their deaths, I figured thats why you attacked me." He trailed on, a sense of relief washed over him like a weight lifted from his shoulders.

"I blamed myself - thats why I reacted so violently." She replied, not knowing about his feelings. She could never blame Levi for the outcome, especially when he went out of his way to make sure that she would be there to protect the squad. "Are you doubting my loyalties?" She questioned him.

Of course he didn't, not after everything that she'd risked to protect him and the squad. How could he doubt her? Even after everything she was sent to do, it was clear who she supported. Plus, she interrogated the man responsible for her misery, she faced her fears and held herself back from killing him, it was honourable.

However, he couldn't shake what Sannes had said, she only got close to him so she could kill him, meaning the foundations of their friendship was based on lies. She also lied to him, hiding her mission when he first confronted her.

"You're a wildcard." Levi finally answered her, unsure of what to say. "For the most part, I want to trust you, to believe that you're my greatest ally." He said, his next statement making the girl worry. "But, you hid it, from everyone - from me."

Carmen felt guilty, but she wasn't going to let everything be ruined and just take it, instead, she would fight for his trust. "Are you serious? If I told you that I was sent to kill you, then I would have been executed. You hated me back then, it was mutual. So if I did tell you, then none of this would have happened. You have to trust me, for the sole reason that I'm still here."

The captain thought about her words, everything made sense. If she had told him when they first met, then he would have had her executed. And if she had told him when he first discovered her secret, then he would never have trusted her as much. He bet that she would never have told him if she had the option.

"I want to believe you." He said eventually after thinking about it for a while. "It's just difficult."

"I'm willing to make it easier." She defended, trying to generate her bargaining tool. "Name your price and I'll pay it." She attempted to negotiate.

Though, her offer wasn't appealing to Levi. He saw no need for her to try and bargain, he already knew she was telling the truth, despite wanting everything to be a lie. Sighing, he made a decision.

"There's no need." The man shut down her attempt. "I only said it would be difficult, but you should know well enough that I'd be willing to endure it."

Shock plastered across her face, she looked more at awe than he had ever seen her. It made him wonder what other emotions he had been oblivious to. Would she smile? Laugh? He'd seen her cry before, yet she still managed to appear mesmerising.

"You are?" She questioned, hoping she heard that correctly. Levi nodded his head, confirming his answer. "But-"

"No buts." Levi intervened, suspecting that she wanted to repay him for his trust. "You're important, and better off with the scouts as your allies." He explained. "Besides, you've done enough for us to know whose side you're on."

"Levi... I'm grateful." She expressed. Apologies and appreciation still wasn't her forte, but she was trying to get better at it. Levi was certainly providing her more reason to.

"Don't be, every opportunity I'm giving you has been earned." He countered, turning away from her and opening the door. "We should probably head off soon, we know our objective. It's best we leave before we run into any unnecessary trouble."

"I'll meet you up there." Carmen decided that it was probably best for her to compose herself before reuniting with the squad. Along with her ulterior motive.

"Don't be too long." He allowed as he walked away, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he'd left, the assassin took out the note from her pocket and examined it's contents. Sannes was right when he said he had a good memory, there must have been just over a hundred names. Although she had exactly what she needed to destroy the government, something inside her convinced her against it.

Instead, she took off her boot and carved out a secret compartment, after that, she folded the paper and placed it inside - hiding everything before being found out. If needs be, then she would tell Levi about it. But until that time came, this would be her secret.

"I don't want to betray you again." She muttered to herself. "But, after what they did - none of them deserve to live."