Surviving Insanity (Jax X F Reader)

Chapter 23

    My mind was spinning. My head so full it somehow felt empty. Nothing made sense and every little thought that entered my mind seemed to eat me alive.
Lying on my bed, I attempted to fall asleep. I needed to take a break from everything, to let my brain shut off for a moment. But sleep would not take me.
I tossed and turned for over a half an hour before giving up. With wide, bloodshot eyes, I stared at the ceiling almost unblinking. Time passed by slowly as I just laid there as still as a stone statue.
The image of the abstractions kept flashing before my eyes. I could feel a chill run down my spine at the thought of it. A strong terror coursed through me. I had never been this scared in my life.
    Those things. They were lifeless and wild, unruly and horrific. Those things were once people but now there was no trace of anyone inside of them. I shuddered knowing that the same thing could happen to me at any moment.
    I did not want that to happen. I could not let that happen. There had to be some way to stop it. Some way to escape before it was too late.
    A knock on my door interrupted my spiraling thoughts. I slowly stood up, my half-asleep legs wobbling as I went to open it. On the other side of the door was Jax.
    "Hey, you okay?" He asked as he looked down at me with a worried look.
    "Uh, yeah. I'm... I'm fine." My eyes wandered around as I talked. When I looked back at him I found a look of concern on his face that told me he did not believe me.
    "It's okay to be a little shaken up." He said. "You don't have to pretend around me."
    "Is it okay to be a lot shaken up?" I asked.
    He gave me a soft smile. "That's okay too." He glanced into my room before looking back at me. "Come on, let's go."
    I raised an eyebrow in question. "Where're we going?"
    "Out of this stuffy room." He said.
    I was hesitant. "I'm not sure. I'd still like time to think."
    Jax shook his head. "That's the last thing you need." He said. "What you really need is some fresh air."
    "Okay." I gave in. He stepped aside as I left my room, closing the door behind me.
    Jax walked slowly so that I could keep up with him as we made our way out of the circus tent. It was much brighter outside and felt nice to be under the sun. Even if it was artificial.
    Though I felt much better now that I was with Jax, I was still unknowingly tense and on edge. The thought of the abstractions were still hovering in the back of my mind.
    Jax glanced down at me through the corner of his eyes. He could tell I was uneasy.
    Feeling his fingers brush against mine, I looked up at him as he held my hand in his. A slight tinge of pink flushed on my cheeks and he smirked. I quickly looked away but could not stop the smile that spread across my face.
    As we walked, though Jax seemed as nonchalant as always, I was hyper aware of the fact that we were holding hands. The feeling of his hand in mine made my heart jump. I felt safe and warm.
Out of my excitement about the situation, I accidentally gave Jax's hand a little squeeze. My face turned bright red when I realized what I did. I was about to pull my hand away when his squeezed mine back.
I glanced up at him to find him gazing down at me with a soft smile. The sweet look on his face made my heart flutter. I smiled back. He really did care about me.