How To: Not Completely Ruin Your Life (#Wattys2015)

High School Shenanigans - Part 1

I want to divulge a little more on high school if that's okay, who'm I kidding? You don't get an opinion in this situation hahaha *composes self*. Now my worst nightmare of a job would be teaching high school students, a class of awkward, pubescent, unrealistic individuals? Ew. So I hope you guys are with me when I say teachers, you're the real MVP's.

Being the stubborn person I am if I didn't like a teacher at high school I automatically hated the lesson and was the least engaged I could possibly be however if I liked a teacher I'd really make an effort with them and reassure them that despite what shit the other teachers inevitably said about me in the staff room I was in fact a little ray of sunshine. When I say little I mean if you were to split an atom in half then dice it and repeat this process 6 times I would represent just less than half of the overall product.

This mindset was especially true when it came to my English lessons. During primary school I loved English, making up stories, writing poems, I was in my element! As soon as I met my English teacher in high school all of that changed. We walked in to a man in his forties looking like he hadn't slept since he was 15 trying to sort out a seating plan, he stuck with the generic boy-girl routine which received several eye rolls and sighs and finally he thought he'd got it cracked, little did he know he put the two hooligans (using it purely because it sounds hilarious) together. Long story short, they spent the whole lesson singing the Barbra Streisand song by Duck Sauce and he ended up quitting due to a mental breakdown.

The next year didn't hold much promise either, we had a woman called Mrs Harris who always had a build up of saliva in the corner of her mouth so whenever she spoke that was definitely the focus point, she also took a suitcase everywhere and would wheel it down the corridors as I sang the ice cream van theme tune. Either she carried enough stationary to supply J.K. Rowling for a lifetime or she was waiting to get fired so she could jump on a plane a peace the fuck out (I like to believe it was the latter).