Invisible ✓ [A Cinderella Retelling]

Chapter 19

⊰Invisible⊱

.•*•.XIX.•*•.

     ༄As the days go by one by one I find that none of them have any meaning to them and each is as miserable as the last one and the next day will always be the worst. It has been some days since the Feast ended but I never did go back to do what I had done for years, clean up after the Feast is over and everyone is exhausted, and neither do I intend on ever going back there again and I do not believe I will be welcomed there again so there is truly no point in going back to the place where I can only remember endless tiring days of chores and pain and suffering where no one truly cared about me at all, it took many years for me to finally realize that but I did and the truth came out to me in the most painful tortures way but it found its way to me and now I can't think of anything but the truth. The cabin is enough to call my home for now that is as I don't know if today someone is going to kick me out and demand that they want the cabin, I don't know that and I keep waiting for it to happen but it never does so I wait out here where it is just me and my sorrows always at each other's heels. Though I don't really mind it, I find that the cabin is actually kind of nice and for the first time I'm the only one that I need to serve and I'm not ordered to do something, I do it because I want to. In a way this whole thing only has had one good outcome which I have to admit is the strangest one of all but now I actually can live my life without being ashamed of who I am and for my human features and status, I don't need to hide that form anyone, and there is no one to make fun out of me or avoid me because I'm human and there is no one to call me horrible and mean names, half of which I don't know the meaning of and would rather not like to find out what those are. Out here in the forest and in the cabin it's only me by myself out here and yet I don't feel lonely, not at all, even when I'm all alone out here I do not feel lonely and I can't seem to be able to explain to myself why.

The two mice which I have actually named even when they have not shown themselves back here, I just felt like they needed names for me to call them other than just mice, it does not sound that good.. Jack and Gustavo. I don't know that many names as these are just some that I have heard over the years and I found them fitting for them, if they ever show up here again. However the strangest thing is that I feel like I could talk to them and they understood everything that I said and wanted to help me, I'm not sure how that is possible but somehow I felt like it is and no one can change my mind about that. They had kept me company before and I felt like I could tell them everything and they did not judge me or made me feel horrible, they just listened and I felt like they were there for me when I needed someone and they guided me somehow. Since they have not shown themselves I think it's highly unlikely that they will be coming here again as I know that all of it was only temporary and none of it was truly real and if it was then it is gone now to never happen or be seen again. Since that night I have made myself a new life here in the cabin and in the coming weeks it might become rather difficult for me as the cabin does tend to get cold when the harsh winter comes but I have been gathering wood to not only keep the cabin lit up but also warm and all right. For food I have been storing some things that I know will not go bad but I have also been trying to figure out how to fish when the lake will be covered in ice since it is going to be a thick ice I would assume and it is going to be impossible to fish when it gets like that but I know that it is possible but I just have to figure out how and once I does I will be able to have food whenever I want. Though I do not have a lot of time since winter is coming rather fast and early this year with nothing in its way to stop it from showing no mercy on the world.

With a heavy sigh I sit on the floor with a blanket wrapped around myself and my eyes stare longingly at the fire as I allow the evening to pass by, not only quietly but quickly too. The days themselves go by slowly but the evenings are fast for a reason that I neither care for nor think much of. Each day I have this hope that he will come for me and apologize to me and at least allow me to explain myself to him and tell him that I truly love him with my whole heart, body and soul but as the days pass by where I barely even know what day it is now, I have started to lose that part inside me of hope and joy and happiness as my world is slowly growing darker and darker and colder even when in the light, everything that was good and happy just fades away into the distance where I can't seem to catch it and I do not feel like I want to, my heart does not feel like it as it has been broken so badly that there is no way that I will be able to get it back together again, ever. Even if Nick does do it and love me there will always been this hole in my heart of pain and misery and agonizing memories that I can't stop playing inside my mind. Perhaps all of this is because of this stupid childish fantasy that I have of happily ever after from the stories my oldest brother would sometimes tell me but now I know better and I should've never been that naive and try to think of a future where something like that could've happened to someone like me with him, that does not even exists in my life and will never do. All that I should and am trying to think of now is how to survive this winter as winters are always the hardest ones in the mansion and for servants it was even worse. The winter is not known for its kindness, though it is known for the extraordinary beauty that it holds, but when winter arrives which it will soon, any day now that is, it will be cold and merciless on everything and everyone.