BAY YANLIŞ

Episode 6 - Discovering what mattered...

Can one ever fully admit that they know themselves? Can one ever be that raw and honest? Likewise, can one be so completely honest with themselves that they are able to admit that the choices they make are the ones they want to make... and not choices they need to make to keep holding onto the image of life that they set out to live?

The drive back to Istanbul was usually one Özgür looked forward to. Whenever he visited his family in Göcek, the drive back home was the most pleasant part of the trip. Partially because of his nosy and witty aunt Fitnat. But not this time. The odd thing about driving home this time was that the longer the drive lasted... the longer he wanted it to last. Why? Because of the woman that sat beside him.

If someone would have told Özgür a week ago that the weekend he just spent would have been as eventful as it was, he would not have believed it. But it was. As a matter of fact, Özgür could have easily admitted that the last couple of days were the most eventful of his entire life. He dived into the waters with a woman he never intended to. He met her parents. Her parents met his mother. He met her friends who, as odd as it sounded, he had grown to appreciate. He danced at his sister's wedding in front of his mother, and he managed to convince her that he found someone he finally treated seriously. Even if someone would ask him about what had happened when he battled a band of criminals, he never, EVER, would admit that he owed his freedom to one friendly goat.

But something else happened too. Something that outweighed all the problems they encountered along the way. Again, it was all because of the woman that sat beside him as they drove back to Istanbul. Ezgi. The woman who drove him half-mad and half- crazy. The woman who not only managed to convince his mother, sister, and aunt that she cared about Özgür, but also made his mother accept her from the moment they met. Above all, she made Özgür wonder about how he felt about her. Something he never thought of before. He never wondered before. Never second-guessed himself before. Until now.

They arrived back in Istanbul late in the evening. When they got back home and out of the elevator on their floor, Özgür and Ezgi both breathed a sigh of relief. But somehow neither wanted to say goodbye. Neither one wanted to part ways or let go of the illusion of what they shared over the past few days. Knowing that he needed to be the first one to leave, Özgür went with his gut and suggested that Ezgi drive into work with him the next morning and keep doing so since they would work at the same location. Ezgi agreed and walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her. The apartment felt even more empty than when she left it. Their mission had been accomplished though not without snags along the way. The trip to Göcek went off as planned and was a success. She was glad the weekend was coming to an end but why was she feeling so empty inside? She did not know or was not ready to admit the reason why.

As for Özgür, setting foot in his apartment felt like he reached his safe haven. His private ground. His own ground. But he walked into a dark apartment. Though the lights were on and he certainly knew his way around his apartment, it felt dark. He was beginning to understand why. Ezgi may have been a last-minute stand-in as his girlfriend, she may have been just an excuse he presented to his family so they would stop nagging him, but she showed him that she had done it from the goodness of her heart. They had made a deal. It was a two-part deal. He got something out of it and so would she. So why did it feel like he was going to end up with the worst part of this deal? He closed his eyes, opened them again, and sighed as he looked at the portrait of James Dean hanging on the wall. Though the image of James Dean often stimulated Özgür's thinking on what he should NOT do, now nothing was coming to him. This meant only one thing. Özgür's balance no longer levelled off.

The next morning came and so did Ezgi's first day of work at La Gabbia. Özgür woke up first and waited for Ezgi's call. After all, they did agree to call one another when one of them woke up. And after all, Özgür was never the kind of a man to call first. They met by the elevator. Ezgi was taken by the way he reacted as he stood in close proximity to her in the elevator, but it was Özgür who could barely contain the way his body reacted to Ezgi. Or rather, to her scent. He was a visual man. A man who noticed details to figure out the big picture. But he did not think to notice so many details about Ezgi.

Özgür's curiosity finally got the better of him and he asked if she changed her perfume. She denied it but mentioned that she changed her shampoo. He approved of her choice. He very much approved of it. So much so that he could barely hold himself back from leaning in closer and closer. She smiled and said that if he liked it so much, she would continue to use that very shampoo. That got to him. One of his golden rules was to maintain a distance in private relationships and not allow a woman to change a routine following his suggestion because that never led to anything good. He shook his head and told her she should just stick with her old one.

A moment after those words left Özgür's lips, he all but dove his nose into Ezgi's hair. A moment later, Haydar joined them in the elevator obviously smitten with Ezgi and just as obviously oozing of a less-than-fragrant aroma. Though Ezgi tried her best to remain polite about the situation, Özgür chose the high road and told Haydar what he thought. Bluntly and honestly and as odd as it might be, Haydar took Özgür's words as a compliment.

When Özgür and Ezgi arrived at work, they were greeted by Emre and a less than excited Gizem. Emre could hardly contain his admiration and enthusiasm toward his new colleague, but Gizem almost wished her out of existence. But since Özgür was her boss, she knew she needed to play it cool and play it smart. Which was not as easy as she assumed it would be because Ezgi was not only kind and polite, she was intelligent. And she definitely possessed the level of experience in public relations that Gizem felt uncomfortable with.

That was not the only thing that got under Gizem's skin. Ezgi's friends did too. The moment Cansu and Deniz came to congratulate Ezgi on her first day of work, Gizem bit her lip. She put on her best hostess smile and acting skills to make sure she came off as polite to Ezgi's friends. She almost pulled it off. Almost... because Emre could not be fooled and could not pass up an opportunity to ruffle Gizem's feathers. Nor could he pass up an opportunity to get a bit closer to Cansu, if only an inch. There was something about the way Cansu lit up his day that drew Emre to her.

To share his excitement about seeing Cansu, Emre made his happy way toward the kitchen. He knew there was someone there who would understand his excitement. Someone who would smile just as he did to learn that Ezgi received a surprise visit from her friends. Someone who would not be able to remain in the kitchen if he heard who came to La Gabbia. That someone was Ozan.

Emre was right in his assumption. Ozan lit up like the stovetop behind him the moment Emre asked if he would like to take a break on the restaurant's patio since the outside air smelled of a "sea" breeze. Ozan's eyes grew wide as he realized that Emre used a rather witty metaphor to make him understand that Deniz came to see Ezgi.

Ahh, Ozan, ahh! His kitchen was his passion, his way of life, but he left it in a heartbeat for a chance to see Deniz for himself. And see her, he did. From afar. He longed for her. Ozan realized Deniz was not an easy woman to impress and... that impressed him even more. So much that he decided to trust Özgür when Özgür told him he would help him. But that meant he had to follow Özgür's advice whether he liked it or not. He had already cancelled flowers he meant to send to Deniz. As Özgür sarcastically pointed out, for Ozan to send flowers because he was rejected was not the wisest decision.

It was easy for Özgür to give advice but not so easy to follow through with it in his own life. Case in point? The reporter that caused mayhem in his life after she wrote her less than favorable report about him. When Yeşim came by the restaurant, instead of turning a cold shoulder to her, Özgür greeted her in a way that convinced her she still stood a chance for a future with him. He did not move his hand when she placed her hand in his. He did not turn away when she held her hand out and caressed his face. It was innocent. It carried no consequences. Or so he thought. Not only did it make Yeşim more confident about how Özgür felt about her, it resulted in Ezgi accepting a dinner offer from Serdar.

When Özgür found out about the dinner from the obviously impressed Cansu, he played it cool. It did not bother him at all. Not one bit. Except... it did and Ozan knew it too. He felt obligated to show his best friend how hard-headed and hot-headed Özgür really was when it came to the woman he constantly denied having any feelings for. Eggplant or no eggplant, it was about time he finally got some sense knocked into that stubborn head of his.

Özgür tried to remain calm when Ezgi came to his office and asked if they could talk. Yet his perfectly hidden feelings took over his sense of logic. Rather than wait for what Ezgi had to say, he assumed it was about Serdar and whether she could leave early to prepare for dinner with him. Ezgi felt a bit taken off guard, especially after she saw Özgür flirt in a less than private way with Yeşim. She took a deep breath and told him that was not the reason why she came to speak with him. She was worried about what to say to her mother.

Özgür felt the knots forming in his stomach. Their relationship was just an illusion. A casual excuse he came up with to ease his mother's mind. But not only did it fill his mother's mind to its brim, it also clouded his own. He was confident about his intention to "part ways" with Ezgi right after the end of the weekend, but he was finding it hard to let her go now. That was something he chose not to think of at that moment. Not when he did not have it all figured out but he knew one thing. It would be best if he told his mother first, since he was not sure what his mother could think of next.

As Ezgi arrived home, she had mixed feelings about her first day at work. She was happy to find employment. She was even happier that it turned out that her work duties at La Gabbia were exactly what she was looking for and exactly what she needed. But... working there also meant she would have to deal with Özgür on a regular basis. Sure, they agreed on a pact to benefit them both. She would act as his beloved for no more than a weekend. In turn, he would help her succeed in making Serdar fall for her. Now, she was no longer sure of that.

Özgür drove her half-mad from the very moment they met. He was stubborn, too confident for his own good, and all too sure of himself. He acted as if he owned the ground he walked on and knew everything there was to know about relationships. What's worse, he got under her skin. That was the biggest problem of all because she did not know how to deal with him.

She dressed, for Serdar. She styled her hair, for Serdar. She put her lipstick on, for Serdar then removed it again. Indecision in her mind began to fill her heart. Serdar was the right choice. The accurate choice. The best choice. So, why did she hope he wasn't the only choice available? She paused and sighed. Serdar really was the only choice available to her. After all, she meant nothing to Özgür. The moment that thought crossed her mind, she felt a painful jab in her heart. Who was she to possibly affect Özgür in any way or mean anything to him? What did she have to offer him? Would she ever be confident enough for someone like him? She shook her head, reapplied her lipstick, and walked onto the terrace to wait for Serdar, who was running late.

The view Ezgi saw from the terrace was magnificent. She stood above the city of Istanbul, close to the sky, close to the clouds and the setting sun and felt insignificant. She sat down on the couch and fought the emotions that ran through her. The moment Özgür came out, she felt a bit happier seeing him but still insecure. She asked Özgür how she looked and his words in reply hurt her. She worked hard to make sure she looked stunning, but he all but compared her to the shy little woman she was when they met. The way she looked would be good enough for the doctor. Not this time, she thought. Not this time. She looked good and she knew that she put in an effort. A lot of effort. Özür thought she looked just OK for Serdar? Fine, she would accept that. But if he thought she would leave it at that, he was mistaken.

She had nothing to lose. Nothing to gain either if what he told her was accurate. So, she chose to take a step for herself. She needed to be more confident? Now she felt that. She needed to be more sure of herself? She realized that as well. She needed to stand her ground and be the woman she was born to be? "Yes, evet, and evet again" she thought to herself.

To say that Özgür did not know what hit him was an understatement. The element of surprise was totally on Ezgi's side this time. Since he did not anticipate what was coming, Özgür had no time to put his walls up. Not that it would do him any good. What he saw was a side of Ezgi he was not aware existed. She was not shy. She was not insecure. She did not second guess herself. In fact, she caused him to second guess himself. He realized something else that affected his balance in the most uncomfortable of ways. He never found himself so spellbound before that he would allow any woman to seduce him. Nor had he ever before found himself powerless to stop his reactions.

Ezgi looked into his eyes. He looked away but then looked back deeper into her eyes. She brought her hands to his face but barely held it. The sheer gentleness of her touch left no room for air in his lungs. He thought he would go mad. He was sure of it. Then she caressed his lips with her fingertips. She did not progress any further, just lingered there. He all but gave in to the urge to pull her closer and into a kiss neither of them would have been able to stop.

Only... Ezgi pulled back. Totally unaffected. Totally unbothered. Now he knew he had gone mad. She awoke something in him and then walked away. Just plain walked away. He thought of going after her, turning her around and demanding answers. But she received a call from none other than Serdar. Just the mere sound of Ezgi saying his name raised his temper so much that he needed to walk away.

Oblivious to the way Özgür felt, Ezgi picked up her phone. As bad as Özgür felt when he heard Serdar's name, it appeared Serdar needed to cancel the dinner due to a sudden change of plans. As things turned out, Ezgi ended up enjoying the evening with the man she had not planned on but the man whose company brought her a much-needed boost of confidence. They ate, they talked, they cleaned up, they waited for coffee. Özgür had to admit that for an unlikely evening companion, Ezgi did not turn out to be as bad as he thought either. Too bad their evening came to a halt when Deniz called.

Left to himself, Özgür had a lot of time to think. He was a man who enjoyed nightlife, the vivid sounds of it, the lively atmosphere available to those not keen on staying home. Yet somehow, he did just that. He stayed home. He realized he did more of that in recent days. He also began to enjoy the seclusion and solace his terrace offered. Even more since it offered an opportunity to see Ezgi if she chose to join him there. As a matter of fact, he began to silently anticipate the times when she did.

He would come to the terrace, seek the light from the stars and the company of the moon... and Ezgi. This time, she joined him. She smiled. He came closer. She admired the moon. He admired her. She turned her face to him and looked into his eyes then turned away. He looked at her then looked away but could not stand it a moment longer. When he took a step and turned to face her, he was looking at the woman who began to mean something to him. He was a grown man. She was a grown woman. He had every right to ask her how she felt about him. And he felt she had an obligation to him and to herself to reveal how she felt. How she felt about him. He knew it was hard for her to admit her feelings. Not only because of the way she had been hurt in the past but also because he was helping her pursue Serdar.

He put everything on one card. All or nothing. If she did not like him, he would chalk it up to experience, close that chapter and move on. If she felt how he felt, then he would not lay that feeling to waste. So, he brought her close and kissed her. She kissed him back and held his face in her hands as she did earlier that evening... until they heard a voice. What happened next shocked and confused Özgür. Not because they saw Serdar come out to join them, but because Ezgi chose Serdar and left Özgür behind. She left him standing there. She left him numb. She left him and walked away embracing Serdar and referred to Özgür as her neighbor. Just her neighbor...

Özgür awoke with a sick sense of confusion in his mind. He... dreamed... about a woman? He... dreamed... about Ezgi? He was left behind?!? HIM?!? That sudden pang of shock got to him and shook him down to his core. He never dreamed about a woman before. That never happened because he never let anyone get that close to him. And now, to not only see Ezgi in his dream but to actually feel something for her in that dream scared him straight. It scared him enough to pretend he overslept so he would not have to ride to work with Ezgi. It scared him enough to lie to her. It scared him enough to demand answers from James Dean again, only to receive silence in return. Again, only silence.

Driving out of the building's garage to go to work, Özgür saw Ezgi sitting by the security post with Haydar, patiently waiting for a taxi. Putting his feelings aside, Özgür trusted his logic and asked Ezgi to get into his car. Whether he liked it or not, it was the best logical option. When they arrived at the restaurant, Ezgi got right to work and let her expertise shine. She not only let everyone know she was a pro at what she did, she was not afraid to take the lead on organizing an upcoming event for La Gabbia. She had organized Latin-inspired functions in the past and would be able to organize the food, the music, and the decorations to fit that theme. With Emre's help in creating the cocktails, the event was sure to be a hit. Everyone backed her idea including Özgür, but with the exception of Gizem. Instead of joining forces with her new colleague, she felt the ground slip away from under her feet.

After going over ideas about the Latin-themed party with a less-than-happy Gizem, Ezgi went to discuss them in more detail with Özgür. He was interested in what she had to say, but could not help but notice the scent of her hair again. He told himself it was only to see if she went back to her regular shampoo. The fact that she did not made him smile inside, so much that he almost lost his train of thought. Then their conversation was interrupted with a phone call from Ezgi's mother. The call reminded Ezgi that she had not let her mother know she and Özgür had parted ways. It surprised her to hear Özgür ask her not to tell her mother, not just yet. She smiled and agreed not to. 

When Ezgi left to prepare for her dinner with Serdar, Özgür could not help but feel her absence. The restaurant that used to beat to a vibrant drum in his heart did not offer that same feeling. He sat down and tried to appear preoccupied or tired. But none of it worked, with either Ozan and Emre. They knew him and knew him well. It was as clear as day to Ozan why his best friend's eyes lost their mischievous gleam. He asked Özgür, fully expecting to hear Ezgi's name somewhere in the excuses Özgür would come up with. Instead, Özgür replied that if Ozan was hoping to hear he did not feel bad because Ezgi was going out to dinner with Serdar, he would prefer not to answer that question. He asked Ozan not to push him too hard on that subject and that was all the answer Ozan needed. His best friend was on the hook and it was stuck quite deep. But as a true friend, Ozan cheered Özgür up. He told him not to worry, that he did not see Ezgi going out to dinner with Serdar after all. Ozan had no idea how true his words would turn out to be.

As Ezgi concentrated on getting ready to meet with Serdar, Özgür concentrated on meeting one of the restaurant's high-end client groups, a law firm. The owner himself had come as well as Deniz and some of her colleagues from the firm. As their host, Özgür shone but not as much as Ozan did. Özgür advised Ozan not to flirt with Deniz, so Ozan flirted instead with Irem, Deniz's rival in the firm. It was obvious to Özgür that they were rivals. But to Ozan? Not so much. Özgür all but sent smoke signals Ozan's way to make him stop flirting with Irem. Much to his horror, after Ozan finally figured it out, Özgür congratulated him on one of the most spectacular performances of self-destruction he had ever seen. One simply never flirted with the enemy of a woman one tried to impress. Never. And Ozan just learned that the hard way.

At home, Ezgi finished preparing for Serdar's arrival. She was ready but began to second guess herself. All because of her growing feelings for Özgür. As Fate would have it, Cansu was there to help her. She advised her that Serdar was her future, and not any other candidate that she may have held hopes for in her delicate heart. Ezgi finally agreed, and to make her decision even stronger, she willed herself into daydreaming about her wedding day. A white gown. A wreath of delicate white and silver flowers in her hair. A sash to accentuate her waist. A long pathway through a beautiful garden. At its end would be her beloved. The man who loved her above all others. Her "Mr. Right"... just as she had always dreamed.

She saw him standing there waiting for her. A tall, handsome man. The man who was fated to share his life with her. A man who would belong to her as much as she would belong to him. A man who loved her. A man who would love her until the end of days. She walked closer and closer. She could feel her heart drum in her chest, aware that she would soon come to share life with the man of her dreams. As she inched closer toward him. He turned. He smiled. He reached out for her hand. He was not... Serdar. He was... Özgür...

The reality of what she saw when she daydreamed of her wedding day scared her. The reality of who she saw waiting for her caused her heart to tremble. What if she was pursuing the wrong man? What if Serdar was not right for her at all? What if she was meant to meet Özgür when she did? What if she was meant to play the part of his beloved so that she would realize how someone could care about her and care for her? She looked at herself in the mirror, and she knew what to do. She knew.

She went to dinner but not with Serdar. With her mother and stepfather who surprised her with an unannounced visit. They made her realize that what Özgür felt for her was not a momentary phase. The more they spoke and tried to make her understand that Özgür was not the kind of a man she should seek a future with, the more she began to see that he was right for her. She received confirmation when Özgür called her. This not only showed her that he was jealous, but that he cared enough about her to check up on her. Only he mistook her response as a confirmation that she really did end up going to dinner with Serdar. What happened later that night was a direct result of that misunderstanding.

Since he was stuck at the restaurant, Özgür sulked. And he never sulked. No one was more surprised to see him in such a state than Emre. Because nothing got to Özgür that night. Not even a cocktail Emre would offer him. Not even the beautiful woman who sat by the bar and smiled at Özgür. Not even Emre's pleas for help because the father of his girlfriend was still at the restaurant. Not even Yeşim, who came by the restaurant with only one purpose. And that purpose was Özgür himself.

Though he felt apprehensive to spend time with Yeşim, he chose to be polite to her rather than cold. They ate dinner, shared a few laughs, and ended up leaving the restaurant together. This not only surprised Ozan but also convinced Deniz that Özgür was just the kind of man Ezgi should stay away from.

When Özgür arrived at home with Yeşim, they greeted Tesla who was returned from his sitter. Özgür happily picked him up and hugged and kissed him and Yeşim pretended to enjoy petting Tesla. Yeşim knew what she was doing. Her plan revolved around Özgür, and making him understand he should be interested in her was just a matter of time. er. She moved quickly, decisively, and on purpose but miscalculated her chances. She underestimated Özgür and the kind of a man he was. Perhaps she may have stood a chance if she would have made her motives known before Özgür met Ezgi. Perhaps if she did so before he fell for Ezgi. But now, his mind was filled with Ezgi and filled to the brim. He had time to think in the last few days. He spent that time discovering what mattered... and realized that Ezgi mattered to him.

Özgür was more convinced of this the moment Yeşim looked up at him as they moved to the terrace. He understood it even better as she set her cup down and approached him the same way Ezgi did a day before. But she was no Ezgi. He was sure of that. He also realized that the woman who brought her hands up and wrapped them around his neck did not stir any feelings in him. None whatsoever. Not even when she kissed him.

What he did not realize was that the moment he discovered how much Ezgi meant to him... was the same the moment Ezgi saw Yeşim kissing him.