Faking Us ✔️

bonus chapter #2

Anderson
~

I remember as a kid, my mom and I would take special trips to Dairy Queen when their seasonal blizzard came out.

Brownie Batter Blizzard.

When they stopped making them, I cried for four days straight. I was five. Guess I've always been dramatic, even back then. Around this time my mom drove a 2006 Toyota Camry with a built-in sunroof. Right after school she would take us to either get ice cream or just drive and listen to the old blues.

My favorite was when she would open up the sunroof and let the wind blow through our hair. Looking out the window, I would watch as every tree passed and count as many street signs as I could, like it was a game.

It was just something that we've always done together. Before she got caught up in her addiction.

And men.

This day was always in the back of my mind growing up. Wondering if she would even live past my middle school days or even see me graduate. Those thoughts as a kid were too hard for anyone to deal with, but that's just how it was.

That's how my life always was.

Right after graduation, Luca and I decided to go visit my mom in the treatment center she was staying at. She was doing so well that after six months of recovery she was able to get out. I tried to reason with her and say it was too early, that she needed more time, but she convinced me that she was doing fine.

"I won't go down that way again," she would tell me with a reassuring smile on her face.
All I could do was nod and hope for the best. As shitty as that sounds.

Luca had my back and agreed that he didn't think it was a smart thing to do. He didn't even want me to live with her once we got back home, but I couldn't leave her. His grandma insisted and begged for me to stay with them, but I had to turn away.

I even put college on hold.

She ended up relapsing three weeks later.

I tried my best to see Sydney and visit her when she came home for the holidays, but the times I would hang out with her my mom was either high or passed out. My insecurities kicked in and embarrassment took over. I couldn't let her see my mom like that.

So, I had to push her away.

That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... that and admitting my mom into rehab. The love that I feel for Sydney is unbearable. It's something that will always stay with me. She was my escape for everything and my pain of losing. It physically hurt me to lose her, especially the way I did it.

"Anderson, you can't do this," she pleads with tears burning her emerald eyes. "I love you."

I quickly bite the inside of my lip, keeping the feel of heartbreak tucked away. "There's nothing I can do for you right now. I need to be here for her."

"Let me be here with both of you." She brings my face into her hands. "Please."

My face tries to relax in the softness of her hands, but I shake my head out of her grip. "We don't need you here, Sydney."

She blinks back the tear that has fallen onto her face. "You don't mean that."

"I need to do this, without you. You need to go to college. I can't hold you back from that."