Faking Us ✔️

nine

Luca
~

That night, as I dropped Anderson off at his house, I saw his mom outside taking out the trash. Her appearance wasn't the best. She looked pretty rough with her unbrushed blonde hair and dark eyes. Does she sleep any these days?

Luca, you're one to talk.

We spoke for a few minutes after we got out of my Jeep.

"Anderson is lucky to have such a great friend like you, Luca."

I leaned against the hood and smiled. "I'm always here for him, Ms. Jenna."

She nods, itching oddly at her left arm.
My eyes find the tiny bruises on the inside of her elbow. I know she is trying to get clean, but this is such a heavy sight to see. Anderson shifts awkwardly beside me before kicking a few rocks with his feet. "Come on, Mom. Let's get you inside."

I can feel the tension between them. Anderson is so embarrassed at the sight of her and Ms. Jenna is on edge the entire time. She claws more at her arm and that's when I noticed her sleek frame. She is skin and bones. A gust of wind could just about blow her away.

When I make it back home I think more about what Sydney said.

She deserves someone like you
She hates Marcus

And let's not forget the fact that she straight up lied to Anderson about having a date to Prom. I hate not telling him what she said, but she told me she will make it right. With whatever that means, I hope she was honest.

I rub my eyes as I yawn for the third time.
I am so tired.
It'll be morning before I know it.

The hot water runs down my back. I keep my head down as it travels in my hair and into my eyes. It burns, but I don't care. Instead, I place my palms against the cold tile and welcome the intrusive thoughts that take advantage of my mind.

Luca is seven this time.
He is running around outside in the backyard.
There is no care in the world. None.
He finds comfort in the woods.
Suddenly, he is lost and doesn't know how to get back home.
Screams are in the distance.
He is scared.
Luca follows the scream until he makes it back towards his house.
The screams are his own.
He's been screaming this entire time and didn't realize.
His life is a nightmare that he can't run away from.
Now his parents are gone and he wonders if they would still be alive if he never opened his mouth. Because, maybe if he was quiet the world could have stopped. Just this once.

My tears have been swallowed with the water coming from the shower head. I don't even know how long I have been crying. I wiped at my eyes finally and shut off the water. As I walk into my room after drying off and changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, my grandma slowly enters the room. 

"Dear, are you going to take these?" The door creaks, following her inside. She is holding the bottle of sleeping pills that have my name on them.

A deep sigh leaves from my mouth.
"I can't." I tell her honestly.

She sets them on my dresser for me before taking a seat at the foot of my bed. I knew she was going to ask me about them again, but right now I'm just not in the mood to discuss this. A part of me wants to take them, just for the benefit of her sake.

"Honey, I will be fine. You need your rest." She pushes her tortoise glasses up the bridge of her nose. She's gotten more gray in her hair that I'm just now noticing.

I quickly shake my head. She's wrong. I don't need to rest. If anything, she's the one who should rest. I have to protect her.

"No. What I need is to be here for you and protect you."