Isolation (BTS x reader)

4| Pit of Darkness

Y/N POV

I grab the neatly stacked bills from the table, it was my tip from them and it was pretty big. This job, as awful and degrading it can be, it paid extremely well and it was one of the reasons I still worked here.

I mean I didn't like working here because of the gross, barbaric men, but I did like the hours, my boss wasn't too stern, my coworkers were understanding, and well the check I would get.

I go to clock out and I see my coworker who is clocking in. Her hours were unlucky since I would leave before the drunks who were hard to deal with after 3am. I wasn't close to her at all, actually I couldn't remember her name, but she would always smile a short smile every night.

I nodded and shouted out to my boss, "Bye, I'm heading out." Her head around the corner to look at me and gives me a thumbs up and I swing open the back door. I check the time on my phone, 2:02 a.m.

My head aches from the blasting music, I'll just take some Ibuprofen when I get home. I walk towards my clean car which I parked farther than I usually do. I sigh while dragging my feet down pavement of the black parking lot. I look around briefly when my eyes lock onto a dark figure not too far from me.

It not much taller than me, clearly the shape more masculine. I keep my eyes on it until I reach my car, unlocking it, getting in, looking in my rearview mirror, but the figure seems to be gone. Maybe that person was waiting outside their car or maybe I'm just really tired.

I start the car, trying to ignore the person I think I saw before and start driving towards the direction of my apartment. In the distance I can seen a lit up billboard that has a child and her father playing in the park advertising some drug for older adults. My eyes study on the happy child's face and the father's eyes nowhere looking at that kid. I stop at a red light when I start thinking about how that kid probably loves her dad much more than he loves her.

Memories of my father appear my head; I'm holding his hand while I walk along the sidewalk laughing as he makes funny remarks of the people we saw at the store. Or when he would toss me up in the pool and catch me in the water. Or how he would sneak me candy when my mom wouldn't let me have any. Those times felt so far now, how much I have changed from then.

My dad left my mother, brother, and I when I was about 10 years old. It was after an argument about money and how my brother wouldn't be able to go to college, he was about 18 at that time. The next morning, his stuff was gone. My mom was so much in denial that for years she said that he would come back and he left to get money for us.

I believed that for a while, until I overheard my neighbors talking about us. "That man is definitely not coming back, he runs away from everything. He ran away from school when it got hard, ran when he lost his job, now leaving his poor family."  They laughed until they saw me standing there.

I refused to believe that my father would leave me, but then days turned into months and then turned into years and I have still not seen him. I'd be lying if I said that I wanted to see him, that man hurt not only me, but my whole family. He deserves nothing for what he did to her, my mom.

I turn into the parking lot and tiredly walk up the steps and unlock the door. The familiar smell of home was refreshed into my face and I immediately went to shower. After walking from the bathroom, I fall onto my bed and think again about that billboard.

Would my life be any different if my father was still in my life? Would my mother's?

The questions wouldn't do me any good, but I couldn't help myself from the wondering what if's?

My body feels tired and tries to drift to sleep, but my mind won't let it. When I try to sleep recently, I feel like if I close my eyes for too long I won't wake up. That was my fear, leaving my mom. My father left and my brother went into the military, I couldn't leave her alone.

Before I know it, I have fallen asleep into a pit of darkness, I haven't had a dream since the day my dad left.