𝒆𝒗𝒂 ➙ 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒔

five

adelaine miller
TORONTO, CANADA

"we're here baby!" i tell eva as i park the car, we were outside her new pre-school for her first day. "are you excited?" she nods her head with a beaming smile.

"come on let's get you out of your seat." i mumble, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out, i shut my door taking my keys with me and go to the back seats, opening eva's door and unbuckling her from her booster.

"you have to be a big girl now and hold mommy's hand, no more picking you up, yeah?" eva nods her head and sticks her hand out for me, i put her backpack on her back, taking her hand.

we walk together into her school, following the path to her classroom, where all her students were. "mommy is going to pick you up later and take you to the office, alright?" i tell her as we get to her door, she looks at me perplexed.

"no! mommy stay with me!" she exclaims, pouting as she looks at all the unfamiliar people. i sigh, crouching down to her level.

"mommy can't stay here baby, but look, everything is going to be ok, you are going to play and make new friends." i tell her.

after a couple cries and some more comforting words from both me and her teachers she accepts the situation, taking her teachers hand as she waves goodbye to me, i keep up my brave face until i get into my car.

my baby was growing up, soon enough she won't need me around as much — my heart couldn't take the thought of that. my head rested on the steering wheel as i let out some tears. i take a deep inhale, this was a situation that i knew i had to be prepared for, it was going to happen, it wasn't something i couldn't avoid.

∎ ∎ ∎

"so sabrina's agent got back to you and she accepted the offer, so we need to get another meeting soon to set the dates for the campaign, i think her agent sent us her schedule, i'll forward it to you." alaina tells me as soon as i reach the office floor.

"alright, thank you." i mumble as she hands me my coffee. "are the samples for the summer collection back and approved? we need to get on the creation of them." alaina shakes her head.

"no not yet, i'll email them back to try and get a response from them, hey you alright?" she asks, noticing my foul mood.

we enter my office and i shut the door, taking a deep breath, "i just dropped eva off at her school." i tell her and she nods her head.

"i thought that was a good thing?" she questions cocking her head to the side, i nod my head, "then why do you look like you've just seen someone get shot?"

"she was having a meltdown about not wanting to leave me and i felt so helpless, then when i got into the car i couldn't help but think how quickly she is growing and soon she won't need me anymore." i reply, my voice cracking at the end.

"oh ade, of course she's going need you! you're her mother, she will always need you by her side." she soothes, rubbing my arm.

the little pep talk made me feel somewhat better, "yeah, i guess you're right." i whisper, wiping a stray tear. "alright, come on—" my hands clap together and i clear my throat, "let's get this work done." i tell her, trying to distract myself from my thoughts.

endless hours later, we got a date set up for the campaign that sabrina was going to do for us, there was going to be two shoots of her testing out the collection, an igtv video of her reviewing the collection, photos and all that stuff, lots of good promotion for my company.