Peter by day, Pan by night

Chapter 7

        I move towards him, even though everything inside me is screaming ‘run, hide, fly.’  But I won’t this time.

        “You are a bully. You’re a lost boy who-”

        Felix laughs, but it is short and raspy and angry. “Whoever said I was a lost boy?”

        “What?” I jerk my head back. Confusion seeps through me. Confusion and frustration. He is making no sense! “You-you did. Back when you first told Kelvin about this place.”

        He taps his chin with long, thin fingers. “Ah. And no one has ever lied to you before?”

        “It wasn’t a lie. You’re Peter’s right hand man. He told me so himself.”

        “You know nothing.” Felix shrugs. “You have no idea who I really am.”

        Silence stirs between us. I try to shake off the heaviness that keeps me tied to this clearing. What is Felix hinting at? Is he just playing with my mind?

        Felix bares his teeth in what is meant to be a smile. He points to the tree fort hidden by branches and leaves and shadows. “Go on. He doesn’t want you to see him, which is why he never came down.”

        “Then I shouldn’t go up.” Maybe I’ll try to find Kelvin and the other lost boys. Bert can probably show me where the fairy circle is.

        “You must, but only if you are ready for the truth. But you won’t like it.” Felix’s warning hangs in the air as he walks away. Did he only come to taunt me?

        I run my fingers over the rough bark of the Neverland tree. I press my forehead against it and close my eyes. Why can’t life be easier? Why, even in a magical island, does everything have to seem so complicated? Everyone has secrets and scars. We all have a story. Am I ready to hear Peter Pan’s yet?

        Do I want to know the truth when I’ve barely known the boy whose smiles never reach his eyes and whose laughter never lingers? Something about Peter reminds me of Kelvin. How a stranger can become a friend from one moment to the next. How you can love and care for someone you barely know. And eventually, how a friend can become part of your family.

        But I have no family.

        I remember Felix’s wild eyes and pale scar. I wonder how he got it and who he was before he came to this island. Felix has a story too.

        I climb the tree again. Partly because I love to climb trees, but mostly because it will lengthen the time before I have to confront Peter. The apple in my pocket scrapes against the thimble, another reminder of a life I am already forgetting.

        Maybe it is because I have been sitting for several hours or because I’ve already climbed up before, but I reach Peter’s tree house too soon.  I still don’t know what I’ll say without sounding needy or offending him. Maybe Felix was wrong, and Peter is out somewhere with the other lost boys.

        I look into the tree house which is as messy and random as it was the day before. Then I grab a nearby branch and feel my heart beat wildly inside me. Why am I so nervous? Peter probably isn’t here, I repeat silently. But something inside me knows he is up there, a few feet above me on the roof made of woven branches and slabs of wood.

        Breathe in. I tighten my grip on the branch and get ready to pull myself up. Breathe out. I am exaggerating. No matter what Felix said, Peter is only sleeping…I think. Of course, if he really is sleeping, then I shouldn’t be swinging myself into his makeshift room.