Peter by day, Pan by night

Chapter 18

        "Wendy?" Peter shakes my shoulder.

        I blink and jerk away from his touch.

        "I'm sorry." He pulls away. "You weren't listening. What are you thinking about?"

        I wet my lips. There are some moments that are too precious to share. "Nothing."

        Liar.

        Peter nods his head. I doubt he believes me. But he won't push. How different he is when the sun is shining. But who is the real Peter Pan? I have spent several days with him, but still won't trust him with the simplest memories of my past.

        But I only shared an hour or two of him during night and it was enough to ground my distrust.

        Who is the real Peter Pan? I wonder again.

        "I don't know." Peter rubs his hand up and down his arm.

        "What?" I groan and cover my eyes. He can hear my thoughts-at least the ones about him. How am I supposed to win at his game, when he keeps cheating?

        An idea pulls at me. "Of course!" I lean towards him. "The boys-did they always call you Pan?"

        Peter lowers his eyebrows. I don't need to read his mind to know that he thinks I am crazy. "Um, no, I don't think so. Why would that matter?"

        "Did they start calling you Pan once the curse started? Once the darkness came over the island?"

        "Maybe." He shrugs. "I don't remember."

        I sigh and run my hand through my curls. "I thought that maybe you are Peter Pan."

        "I think we've already established that."

        "Ugh." I roll my eyes. "I mean that during the day you are Peter, and during the night you are Pan."

        Peter smirks. "That sounds ridiculous." He flicks his gaze over me. "So are you Wendy by day and Darling by night?"

        Eye-rolling must have been invented because of boys like him. "I know it sounds weird, but it helps me figure you out. Figure this mess out."

        Peter frowns. "I am one person, Wendy. I am Peter and I am Pan. You can't separate me like that."

        "But it is true that you are opposite at night." I raise my voice, even though we are alone. "So who are you really? The boy who tricks girls or the one who tries to send them home to keep them safe? You can't be both."

        "Maybe I am both." Peter rubs his eyes. "The darkness changes me, but I never stop being Peter Pan, the first lost boy."

        An ache pounds through me. Even if it is a lie, it will make it easier to divide him in half and attach one side to day and one to night. This is a mess. I am trying to force order, even if I have to pretend.