Lost Wolf

she said she needs time

C a s s i a n

I can't sleep.

I tossed and turned and turned and turned and tried to sleep, but I could not. It was as if falling asleep suddenly became the hardest thing to do in the world.

Finally getting annoyed, I took a harmless pillow and threw it somewhere then I instantly regretted it when I heard something falling and breaking.

Damn it, I must've hit the vase. That was a gift from my mom.

Now I have to get up and clean it up, it will wake me up more.

Great going, Cassian.

I shut my wolf up because I didn't need someone else to rile me up when I was already feeling upset.

I mean who wouldn't be upset?

I haven't spent time with Stella alone for a few days now and I had a strong feeling that she was avoiding me.

Ever since she got out of the clinic, I arranged a room for her to stay in the pack house, literally a floor below mine.

During that time, I was thankful that the three Lunas were helping her settle in and explaining her about our kind.

I mentally groaned as I remembered the look of fear on her face as she watched Ervin shift into his werewolf form and from that very moment, I knew I made a huge, dumb mistake.

And now here we are.

It didn't help that the three other Alphas tease at every chance they get about the stupid choice I made. At that time, I just thought that it was the best way for her to believe me.

But I failed to realize that Stella, like most humans, didn't exactly have the mental fortitude to take in the existence of mythical creatures. Not to mention, she was probably already suffering battles on her own.

I should have known...

After picking up the pieces of the broken vase, I decided to throw it out.

I went back to bed, but sleep was wandering and didn't have a plan to find me so instead, I decided to get up and go down for a run.

I changed from my pyjamas with some shorts and a tank workout shirt.

After gearing up, I went down the stairs and decided to get out through the back door in which I needed to pass the kitchen to get to.

To my surprise, the lights were still on and the smell that's been messing with my head for the whole past few days became apparent.

My steps slowed down and I slowly peeked my head through the door frames.

Stella's back was facing me as she stood in front of the kitchen sink and seemingly staring out the window.

Her black wavy hair reached right to her waist and I wondered how they must have smelled because it looked so soft.

She was wearing baggy pyjama pants, clothes that Ruth borrowed her because she didn't have some of hers. That reminds me, I really need to shop for her.

The reason why I haven't done so is because I wanted to go with her and be there as she picked out new clothes to wear in her new life. But all hopes of that happening are down the drain because of the stupid thing that I did.

"Why are you still awake?" I asked and she suddenly turned around, a look of surprise on her face, but when she realized it was me, she relaxed for a bit.

For a bit.

Because then she looked sort of... distraught again and I didn't understand why. Was it because of what I did?