stanley was already in the cafeteria when the bell rang, sitting across from bill and mike. bill and mike were laughing at something that had happened last class, but stanley wasn't entirely paying attention. instead, his head turned subconsciously to look at the door as richie, eddie, beverly, and ben entered.
stanley watched richie specifically, as he talked to eddie. when richie glanced at stanley, he turned his head back, putting it into his arms on the lunch table. he felt when the rest of them sat down, not to mention hearing beverly cackle. he could tell the body beside him was richie based on the way he bumped his shoulder into stanley.
"you okay?" richie asked quietly, pulling a tupperware container out of his backpack and putting it onto the table. when stanley looked up to richie, he couldn't describe the feeling in his chest. richie was looking at him like he was glass.
"yeah," stanley responded short, and put his head back in his arms. he heard richie sigh.
"stan, where's betty?" beverly asked, causing stanley to sit back up. stanley looked awkwardly at the table. he fumbled with his fingers under the table.
"we broke up--she broke up with me." stanley's voice was hardly above a whisper. not that richie would remember, but it was what stanley's voice had sounded like before he really spoke all that much.
all of the losers, except richie of course, made sounds of pity and condolences. stanley was sure that he looked very torn up about it. truth was, stanley wasn't quite sure what he was torn up about. he knew it wasn't betty, not really.
he looked back at richie, who had started talking (assumingely to cover stanley from talking about the break up). richie looked over at him. like he was special.
okay, now that was a feeling he couldn't describe. he looked down to notice his hands were shaking. he felt terrified. of what, he wasn't really sure.
"i'll be back," stanley swung his legs over the table seat and walked away, leaving all of his belongings at the table. the other six watched him, a little confused.
stanley walked quickly to the bathroom, relieved to find it was empty. regardless, he went into a bathroom stall and locked it. he leaned against the door and sighed, a chill going down his spine. this was so weird, what the fuck was going on? why the hell did he feel like this?
he couldn't get the image of richie watching him so delicately out of his head.
i liked it
stanley shook his head, like that might stop his brain from wandering. of course he liked it, who didn't like attention? he was just wanting attention. that's all. he'd like it all the same if bill looked at him like that. or beverly.
it has to be richie. it's always had to be richie.
stanley sighed again. but he wasn't gay. he pictured his temple, and he held back a sob.
oh god.
"stanley?" he was aware that the sound of richie's voice should have made his internal debate much worse, but his voice was so comforting that stanley forgot himself for a moment. he didn't have anything to say. "stan, i know you're in here, i can see your little feet," richie said, stanley breathing through his nose. he was smiling a little bit.
"yeah, what?" stanley responded, his voice small.
"uh, clearly you're not okay, and that's alright, um, you don't have to talk about it, but if you do want to, i... i'm here for you. breakups are hard. anyway, uh, i'm going to tell the group that you have a stomach ache. take care, stanley. and uh, you've been talking less lately, and that's fine, but if you do stop talking i'll.... i'll miss the sound of your voice. that's all. see ya," and then stanley heard richie walk out.
stanley felt sick.
