Out of Reach

It Doesn't Matter

Kurtis places books back on the shelves when his coworker and also friend, walks in. The chimes that hang about the door, ring as the door swings open.

"Hey," Reid greets Kurtis. His friend goes around the counter and clocks himself in. "Busy today?"

Kurtis shrugs, "In the morning, but there's been no one for a couple hours."

The door chimes again when Reid's boyfriend, Grayson, walks in. Grayson hangs out with them a lot at the store. Kurtis doesn't normally mind because they're both good company and have become great friends with him.

But when they get a little handsy with each other or be all disgustingly coupley, Kurtis wants to crawl under a rock.

"Good, I'm tired," Reid complains with a yawn.

"Sorry, Kurtis, I kept him up all night," Grayson winks suggestively at the boy who so desperately wants to sink into the ground right about now.

Don't get Kurtis wrong, he loves Grayson and Reid together and is happy they're happy. It's his gross jealousy that makes him want to disappear every time he sees Reid and Grayson hold hands or whisper sweet nothing's into each other's ear. Kurtis wants that and only wants that with a specific person that he can't have.

"Grayson," Reid says, appalled and blushing.

"You guys are gross," Kurtis tells them.

"Grayson's gross, not me," Reid claims.

Grayson just shrugs after hopping up on the counter, "you know you like it, baby."

"Well, I don't like it." Kurtis says matter-of-factly with a tone that offers humor, but he really doesn't like it.

Thank God, they don't kiss and make out in front of him, but the sexual comments are enough to make Kurtis want to blow his brains out.

"Sorry," Reid says sheepishly even though he's right; it's mostly Grayson who makes the sly comments.

Grayson says, "Kurtis, for fucks sake, tell Alex you like him. Honestly, we could be going on double dates right now, but neither of you will make a move." Grayson's tone is lighthearted, his words didn't mean any harm, but Kurtis let's out a frustrated groan.

"Ugh! I know, but Alex needs to make the move!"

"Why? Just cause he's the 'man' in the relationship he has to ask you out first?"

"No, because-" Kurtis starts, then registers what Grayson said, "hey, I resent that statement. And no," he emphasizes again, "because Alex clearly knows- he has to know- about how I feel for him, so if he hasn't done anything now, he's not going to. He's probably just straight and I'm thinking too hard about it... or he's aromantic."

"No, I don't think he's aromantic, I mean he's talked about McKenna to Preston and I, if you know what I mean," Reid, not-so-helpfully tells them.

There's a clenching, twisting feeling in Kurtis' stomach, thinking about Alex with McKenna. Kurtis hates McKenna and he hardly knows her. He only really knows that she's homophobic, but he hates her mainly because Alex used to be (or possibly still is) in love with her. Kurtis has bad jealousy issues, and he's never been more jealous of anyone than he is of McKenna King.

"I think he's just scared," Grayson comments. "How long were McKenna and him friends and Alex never said anything? Never asked her out on a date and he was completely infatuated with her." Again, more uncomfortable twisting in his gut from Grayson's words. "But he never wanted to risk their friendship and I think that's what he's worried about with you."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter." Because it doesn't. Alex is leaving and they'll try to stay in contact with each other, but what if they can't keep up? Dating long distance? What a joke. Kurtis is better off.

And that's what he has to keep telling himself even if he doesn't believe it.

**

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-Xoxo, Bert