Sirius' Birthday

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   Sirius' birthday was right around the corner. As exciting as that was, Fawn could not get in the mood.

She had been here for nearly five months and still had no more answers than when she first arrived. There were five more years, five more years until that dreaded Halloween night in nineteen eighty one. Fawn was the only one that knew. Everyone else was celebrating, going to Hogsmeade on that weekend for butterbeer, having costume parties with their houses, planning for the next Quidditch match that coming Saturday, playing pranks on Slytherin, having a good time.

  The threats of war had seemingly dissipated. There were still hexes, still first years crying over being called that dreadful word, but war was no longer painted on their hearts or seared into their every thought.

  An outsider may think there was no war at all because the threat was not right in front of them. He was out there, always out there; lingering, planning an attack...

But Hogwarts was safe. Hogwarts, with its stone walls, and Dumbledore and his myriad of enchantments, scared off any threat of death, pain, and despair. Because Hogwarts was safe, the safest place a person could be. At least, that's what they said, that's what they all said.

  "Okay so for my birthday I'm thinking of a huge party, blasting Muggle music that my parents would hate me for listening to, and loads of Butterbeer and Firewhiskey!"

  Remus looked up from his book, nonplussed to see Sirius standing on the table making plans with James who nodded along to his every word.

"Brilliant mate," he, James, said.

   "It'll be the party of the century!"

Sirius laughed. "No Pete," he said, sweeping his arms out wide, "of the Millennium!" 

  "Getting a bit carried away are we Sirius?" Fawn asked, trying to hide a smile at her friend's enthusiasm.

"Well it's not everyday that the black sheep of the Black family becomes an adult now is it Fawnie?"

Fawn just scoffed. "Don't call me Fawnie."

"Alright then baby deer girl."

  "I hate you," she muttered.

   Sirius laughed behind her.

   Remus was quick to remind them that no, they could not have Firewhiskey at the party because only Marlene and Sirius would be of age to drink it—that and the fact that if McGonagall found out, she'd lose her mind.

*****

  "I'm so bloody excited for this! Merlin knows we needed a fucking break!"

  "Language Marls!"

  Marlene just grinned, flopping down on her bed. "Relax Lil's we don't need a Prefect right now."

Lily shook her head. "Who thought it was a good idea to have a rager on a Wednesday? It's a school night and I have a Herbology exam tomorrow."

"Sirius," Fawn supplied. Lily just glared.

  "You don't need to go, you know. It isn't a required event."

"Oh I'm going. I'm not some washed up Brown-noser all the time."

"Oh really?"

A pillow was thrown.

*****

  Music spilled out in every direction, silencing, deafening, people danced as if their lives depended on it—perhaps they did—peals of laughter shot up high for a moment before David Bowie drowned them out again, Sirius and James danced wildly—dare to say promiscuously—on a table, Remus took a swig of something that was definitely not Butterbeer, Peter wandered from girl to girl, fishing, desperate for one to bite, a seventh year boy whispered something in Lily's ear and there was no way to tell if it was that that caused the flush on her cheeks or something else entirely, the lights flashed, blinding anyone who looked at them, snacks were devoured in minutes.

Fawn was overwhelmed.

  She stepped into the corridor, the music softening, the vibrations still pounding in her chest. The punch was spiked with Firewhiskey she realized as she took a sip. Oh well, what more can you expect? The stones were cool against her back as she sunk to the floor and allowed herself a place to rest and breathe.

"Parties are not my thing," she muttered softly into her cup.

  Parties had been quite rare last year at Hogwarts—the modern Hogwarts—with Umbridge's tyranny, anything fun had been practically demolished.

  It was fine though, as stated, Fawn was easily overwhelmed, always had been, so missing out on these sorts of events wasn't exactly detrimental. It was good that they were happening though, as far as the war and the known future was concerned this could be the last real time the Marauders had genuine carefree fun.

Adulthood was fast approaching and with that came responsibilities no one was really ready for. Fawn had no doubt that as soon as they heard about the Order everything would change and James, Sirius, Peter and Remus would immediately join the army Dumbledore was constructing. Bravery and loyalty was in those boys' nature, same with Marlene, Alice and Lily, but joining the war also meant actually fighting in the war and that led to...

  No, she wasn't going to let the thoughts go down that path, not yet.

  "You alright?"

  Unnoticed by Fawn, Alice had joined her. She looked at Fawn with concern and offered out a solo-cup of what was hopefully water.

   "Oh, yeah I'm alright. Thanks Alice."

"I get overwhelmed too, there is so much going on it's hard to stay in the moment or I get too caught up that I can't pay attention to the people."

  They shared a soft giggle. "Yeah that's exactly it I have ADHD too so that's alway fun."

Alice furrowed her eyebrows. "What's ADHD?"

  Fawn had forgotten that most wizards and witches weren't aware of mental illness or neurodivergency, unfortunately these sorts of things were very difficult to explain.

  "I'm not sure how to describe it really. It's a mental illness sort of thing I guess is what you could call it though it's not much of an illness it is more just that my brain works differently that most peoples. Basically it's stereotyped as being unable to sit still and being distracted easily which are components but also comes with sensory overload, hyperfixation and chronic non-chosen procrastination. It's quite frustrating actually."

Alice nodded as though she understood. "I kind of relate to that but I doubt I have that exactly. My dad says I'm a bit of a nut though," she giggled.

Fawn joined the giggling. "I think everyone's a bit of a nut."

  The two friends sat and chatted for a while letting the party fade away until the early morning hours, hopefully Sirius wouldn't mind too much.

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