The way to Gondor (Aragorn and Legolas fanfic)

Gandalf takes control

Legolas POV

I woke up to a familiar face staring down at me. Immediately, I wanted to close my eyes again, but he had of course seen me wake up, so I had to face what was about to come. 

"Lára arin (good morning)", he said to me in a soft voice. "I'm glad you are awake."

Why hadn't I stayed asleep? Because now, all the memories from the last day washed over me again. All the pain and sorrow, and the disappointment and resignation I had felt. Elves weren't used to such an emotional hurricane. But then I realised, that I didn't feel any of that. I was tired, but not angry, not sad, not hurt. I felt nothing. Just the coldness that pumped through my veins.

"Why are you here?", I asked the man, who was watching me intensely.

"To see you wake up", he simply answered, but that didn't satisfy me at all. 

"I mean, why do you even bother?"

Instantly, I saw his face fall. Pain and sorrow now spoke out of it and he shuffled awkwardly on his chair. If he was sorry for hurting my feelings, he totally should. But he didn't have anything to do with my state right now. It wasn't something emotionally, it was physical. 

"Legolas, I'm sorry", he whispered then. "I know I hurt you and I never wanted that. Please, forgive me for how I have behaved towards you! Please..."

When I didn't answer, he dropped his head to the chest and I saw his eyes shine more than usually. Shouldn't he be more concerned about my apparent sickness than his behaviour towards me? But what could I expect from him, when all he was thinking about probably was the beautiful lady Éowyn.

A knock from the door interrupted my dark thoughts, and Gandalf entered the room. He gestured to Aragorn to follow him outside, and the latter slowly stood up to follow him. I closed my eyes and waited for the wizard to come back and tell me what terrible illness had fallen over me. Maybe it really was ring lhîw, and my last hours on this earth had come. Which I would spend, surrounded by false friends, who just searched for a way to get rid of me. Noone cared, they all just pretended, because they knew I was to leave my life behind soon. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was afraid of staying in this castle, filled with cruelty and lies. If all it took for Aragorn to be happy, was, that I no longer was around, then be it. My cup of life was almost empty. And I wanted to drink these last few drops too. 

Hatred. Hatred and coldness. Spiralling down a deep tunnel of darkness, further and further and further...

"Listen to me! Legolas, you must listen!"

A voice spoke to me from somewhere I couldn't detect. I dwelled in complete darkness, and felt again like a vivid elfling, not yet come down to earth. It felt good to be free once again, no feelings, just emptiness filled my body, and no pain reached me. If this was death, I'd gladly take it.

"LEGOLAS!! Wake UP!!!"

Suddenly I got teared out from my comfortable darkness, and thrown into reality again. Gandalf was towering over me, lady Éowyn the perfect and my former friends Aragorn and Gimli behind him. They all looked like they had seen a ghost, all pale and worried. Oh, they needn't be, they know just too well that they'll be better off without me.

"Drink this!", the wizard demanded and pushed a cup with some warm liquid to my mouth. Unwillingly, I let him pour it down my throat. It tasked nothing. 

"Now sit up, you need to talk, all of you", he decided, and helped me get into a sitting position. "And in order to not make you uncomfortable by your own blindness, I'll start", he went on. "First of all, Legolas, Aragorn is well again. He was bitten by a werewolf, but we did everything we could to help him, so now he's feeling better again. And that was mostly thanks to lady Éowyn. She is very talented in healing work, and her knowledge of antidotes has saved lives."

I let out a breath I'd been holding in. Perfect Éowyn, of course. Whatever.

"She helped Aragorn, and comforted him when he was sick. Didn't you, my lady?", the wizard now turned towards her. She smiled and nodded, but I saw right through her, and noticed her feeling guilty. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what that meant.

"Now, Aragorn. Won't you tell us, why you needed comfort in the first place?", Gandalf demanded, giving the man a stern look. So, now the truth was about to come. Let me hear it, I'm ready. Just push the knife even deeper, I cannot feel the pain.

Aragorn took a deep breath and moved a few steps towards me. And then his gentle voice spoke, yet again misleading me to actually believe him.

"I ... I was ashamed", was all he managed. And still, he should be ashamed. A noble man wouldn't betray his friend like that. "You just know me as a strong and composed man, Legolas, and I didn't want you too see me in my miserable condition. I was ashamed of what you would think about me. You might never want to have anything to do with me anymore, if you had known the truth about my illness, and seen, what it did to me. Lady Éowyn just helped me, not more. I promise. Please, will you be able to forgive me?"

Okay so I think I have to explain why Legolas is acting so irrationally. Right now, he's kind of emotionally damaged and can't think straight (haha) anymore, which is why his point of view gives the wrong impressions about what is really happening. I wanted you to better understand what is going on in his mind, and what his condition does to him.