DOUBLE TROUBLE (stand-alone special #2)

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STAND-ALONE SPECIAL #2 

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STAND-ALONE SPECIAL #2 

DOUBLE TROUBLE

AN IDEA I HAD RECENTLY WAS WOULDN'T IT BE AN INTERESTING IDEA IF YOU HAD IDENTICAL TWINS WHO SWAPPED PLACES WITH EACH OTHER IN PRISON? AFTER ALL, IN PRISONER, THEY HAD A MAN DISGUISING HIMSELF (TOTALLY UNCONVINCINGLY I MIGHT ADD) AS A WOMAN TO GET INSIDE SO WHY NOT HAVE A TWIN WHO WANTS TO GET OUT AND SWAPS PLACES WITH THE OTHER TWIN?

BRITNEY MEARS, THE POP STAR, IS IN WENTWORTH ON A TWO-YEAR SENTENCE BUT SHE REALLY NEEDS TO GET OUT, SHE HAS IMPORTANT STUFF TO DO. WELL PERHAPS HER IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER WHITNEY CAN HELP?.....


Britney Mears the pop star arrives at Wentworth detention center, sentenced to 2 years for a serious assault on a music producer
Vera Bennett is waiting in reception, her usual smirk on full display
Vera - Good morning and welcome to Wentworth Britney! Now then, I will explain something very important to you, you are nothing special around here just another criminal and you will be treated the same as everyone else! I do not care how many albums and number 1 singles you have had, I was never a fan anyway and now you are here and we are in charge ok!
Britney - Yeah yeah whatever
Vera - It's yeah yeah whatever Miss Bennett and being cheeky and failing to show respect will put you on a charge so be warned! Now you will take all your jewelry and fancy clothes off, you will wear a uniform and we will scrub all the makeup off your face!


The governor, Ann Reynolds, is in her office was Vera shows Britney in
Ann - Take a seat, please, Mears
Britney sits down
Ann - I need to talk to you before you meet the other women. There is something important I must say to you
Britney - go on?
Ann - Being as famous as you are could mean you will get special attention here
Britney - Really? That's interesting, your officer Miss Bennet just told me I will not get any special attention
Ann - I meant from the other prisoners. You see some of them may be in awe of you because you are a famous pop star. I just wanted to warn you about it. The women may make a fuss of you
Britney smiles somewhat arrogantly
Britney - Of course, and who can blame them? I am admired wherever I go. I am used to it and I like it everyone adores me...except for your sour puss Miss Bennett of course
Vera - CAREFUL MEARS YOU WILL GO ON REPORT SOON!
Ann - Miss Bennett it's ok let's not make a fuss eh
Vera - BUT YOU HEARD WHAT SHE CALLED ME! A SOUR PUSS!
Ann - Yes and I said let's not make a fuss, we'll let Britney off with a warning this time
Britney - Thank you, governor, what a sweet lady you are
Ann - As it happens I do have a few of your albums at home, my son Paul got me into you. I must ask for an autograph from you if you don't mind, Paul will be chuffed with it
Britney - Of course, I don't mind, only too happy to
Ann and Britney smile at each other while Vera looks annoyed


The women are in the rec room when Vera brings Britney in
Vera - No doubt you will all recognize our latest guest...
The women crowd around excited
Judy Bryant - Wow you're the biggest pop star we've had here....well since Diana Ross and Sammy Davis Jr, called by that is
Margo Gaffney - I must admit Wayne and I did collect all of your albums
Britney - Of course, I shouldn't even be here you know, total miscarriage of justice
Bea Smith rolls her eyes
Bea - Now come on Britney, I don't give a damn if you're a pop star and if you have sold millions of records. Face it, you disfigured that man's face and you deserve to be here with us
Vera - Well I hate to admit it but I do agree with Bea for once
Britney starts to cry
Britney - Oh but ladies, you have no idea of the circumstances. I had no choice, I had to defend myself because he attacked me
Chrissie Latham - So you're saying the attack was self-defense?
Britney - Absolutely correct yes
Vera - Typical, you criminals are all the same. Never own up to your actions and always have an excuse to justify it
Britney - You have no idea the corruption that goes on behind the scenes in the music industry, if you did you'd understand why I did what I did...
Bea looks interested and intrigued
Lizzie Birdsworth arrives at the rec room
Bea - Hey Lizzie let me introduce you to Britney Mears, she is a pop star and very famous!
Lizzie - Never heard of her!
Judy - You're kidding, how could you not have heard of her? She is never out of the charts
Lizzie shrugs
Lizzie - I don't care for the stuff you young ones listen to these days, give me the good old days when Perry Como and Frank Sinatra ruled the charts, I loved those old crooners! The stuff I heard recently was crap, total crap and I bet you're crap just like all the rest!
Britney looks taken aback
Margo - Just ignore old Lizzie, Brit, she won't be with us for much longer anyway, she is getting parole in a few days
Chrissie - Hey I've got an idea, let's sing a few songs, a few of Brit's best hits
Judy - That's a nice idea love, have a bit of a concert like we did with Diana and Sammy...


... with a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under With a taste of a poison paradise I'm addicted to you Don't you know that you're toxic? And I love what you do Don't you know that you're toxic?
Britney dances around the rec room singing the song while the others clap and cheer
Judy - Oh brother, this brings back memories of Diana and Sammy and the lovely concert!
Britney - It's getting late to give you up I took a sip from my devil's cup Slowly, it's taking over me Too high, can't come down It's in the air and it's all around Can you feel me now? With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under
Judy, Chrissie, and Margo join in - With a taste of a poison paradise, I'm addicted to you Don't you know that you're toxic? And I love what you do Don't you know that you're toxic? Don't you know that you're toxic?
Vera storms in looking furious
Vera - WHAT IS ALL THE NOISE FOR? I CAN HEAR THE SINGING FROM THE STAFFROOM!
Chrissie - We're just having some harmless fun, Miss Bennett, surely you don't object do you
Vera - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I OBJECT! I WANT SOME PEACE AND QUIET WHILE I EAT MY LUNCH NOT LISTEN TO THIS RACKET!

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