half-baked daydreams

first and last

this is a the heartbreaker's agenda alternate universe. no spoilers ahead.

☁️☁️☁️

"Ano mas prefer mo, maging first love o maging last love?"

"Will you help me carry this, please?" I asked Jass as I showed him the canvass I was planning to bring with us. We are going on a date today and as usual, it's a different one from all the past dates we had. He found this place online where a peaceful lake lies with ducks and lilies in it. There are trees on a safe distance where you can spread a blanket underneath and do whatever you want to do. The place is not crowded as well since the owners decided to have maximum capacity but you're only allowed to stay for specific hours depending on how much you are willing to pay. He showed me some pictures of the place and it looks so serene. It reminded me of those silent moments I shared with my paintings and canvas. Since he's been meaning to try and do art with me, we decided to just go there and create.

We arrived at the place early para masulit namin. Good thing the sun seemed to be a little shy today and is hiding behind the clouds. Jass was carrying the canvases and our food while I carried the painting materials put in a basket together with the blanket we're gonna use.

"Babe. do you want any tips on painting?" I looked at Jass genuinely asking yet he had the nerve to smirk at me!

"You really think I came unprepared huh? Watch me impress you." He winked at me and proceeded to get the things he'll be needing.

I was enjoying myself, filling the once empty canvas with colors creating a moment I'd like to remember when I look at this, when my attention turned to my boyfriend. He was so engrossed as well, maybe more than me. He's carefully and slowly putting colors in the places he sees fit... like how he put color in mine.

I can almost hear Jeremy Zucker's and Chelsea Cutler's this is how you fall in love playing in the background. They say falling in love is scary, but with Jass? It was the easiest thing to do. Staring at him like this made me realize how I want to spend and share all the slow days, the great moments, the ugly cries, and the dull hours with him and only him.

"Okay, let's close our eyes!"

"Can't we just show our piece at the same time, babe?"

"Hmm. Yeah that's a great idea. Okay. Let's do that instead."

"In a count of three?"

"In a count of three."

"1..."

"2..."

"3..."

We quickly turned our now painted canvas and the moment my eyes laid on his artwork, it felt like an arrow hit my heart and my tears threatened to fall.

"That's... Jass..." Even before I could formulate a proper sentence, my tears started falling.

"Hey, why are you crying? Babe you're making me worried. Is it that bad? I practiced this for days though. I thought I got this perfect now."

What he said made me just cry harder. He didn't paint the scenery in front of us nor paint anything near us at all. He painted me. Me in my cinderella-like dress during the prom years ago. And he said he practiced it for days.

He wiped my tears away as I tried to calm myself down. He was holding my face with his left hand then stared at me and I did the same.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled then kissed me as I hoped for this love to last.

"I prefer to be the first love."

"Really? Why?" Aly turned her body, facing me, fully interested in hearing more of what I just said. She's surely weird. Asking this question in the middle of a wedding ceremony.

"Well, do you see that couple in front?"

"Uh-huh. What about them?"

"Think of it this way. You and that groom were both in love with each other. You were so in love you vowed to love him and love only him. You had high hopes and thought it would last. But then, one day, you were faced with a heartbreaking fact— he's in love with someone else. Not another woman or man, but to the girl you once were. He's still in love with the girl you are not anymore and you will never be again. So you let him go. Years later, you meet him again happy with another. Would you still wish to be his last love when you can clearly see how happy he is with her girl now? Of course we want to be someone's last love, but what if you already have a name for that someone in mind? And you can clearly see he's way happier with the love he found when you lost each other? Would you still pretend you want to be the last love when you know what's the better choice?"

I turned to Aly with a sad smile on my face. But this girl, really. She's now wiping her tears trying not to create a noise.

"Why would you hurt me like this, Gwen?"

"What?" I chuckled. "You asked. I just answered."

"I hope you find someone who's gonna love you the last."

"It's okay. It'll be painful for them because I already have someone I know I'll love until the end."

We stood up and clapped our hands as the bride and groom in front sealed their marriage with a kiss.

"May you have a beautiful married life, Mr. and Mrs. Salviejo!"