half-baked daydreams

hand to hold

this is a the heartbreaker's agenda fanfiction. there is a spoiler ahead.

☁️☁️☁️

"Jass."

"Nope."

I chuckled. I don't know why he doesn't like his name anymore ever since I started calling him "Sunshine."

"Yes, baby?"

"Para kang sira. Jass is still your name."

"Well, sunshine sounds way more better when it comes from you."

I gathered my hair to my right shoulder and held them there. I adjusted my position between Jass' legs, my body facing the view in front of us.

"I have a question."

"Let's hear it." I may not see it but I felt his full attention directed at me casting aside the beautiful view in front on us. He always does this whenever I'm talking- or maybe even when I'm not. I didn't notice it at first but when we had a date and Inez had to thirdwheel, Inez kept pinching me whenever Jass is out of sight telling me about the way he stares at me. Since then, I capture and treasure the moment, keeping them close to my heart.

"What's the favorite thing you do that you do with me?" I looked at him as he looked at the sky probably thinking. Then he blessed me once again with his gaze and said, "Sunshine, that's hard. I love everything I do together with you." I tried not to smile but that's just straight hard for me to do especially when he's looking at me intently. Just a minute after, I can already imagine how red I am turning, probably the reason for that smirk in his lips.

"But state one. Just one among those favorites." I stubbornly said.

"Hmm..." he went back to thinking, "I guess this," he then said.

"What this?"

"This. Going on a roadtrip and discovering places in between. I love doing this with you."

I shifted my attention to the view in front of us. I can see the city from here but aside from that, the sparkling sea can be seen from here as well. It's so pretty. I can already tell how breathtaking the setting sun will look from here.

"Uh-huh. I love doing this with you too." I looked back at him and smiled. He kissed my forehead then I went back to leaning against him, my back feeling his beating heart.

"How about you? What's the favorite thing you do that you do with me?"

I pouted at that. He's right. This is hard.

I was busy thinking when his hand that's been drawing circles on my right arm caught my attention. I got it with my left hand and filled the gap between his fingers.

"This."

"Hmm? What this?"

"This. Holding your hand."

"That's interesting. I'm all ears."

"Well, you know my dad sent me back here because he couldn't care for me anymore after my mom died, right? Although I'm filled with hope everything will be better for us, I can also remember those moments when I wanted to hold someone's hand, to hold anyone, so I wouldn't break apart as well. I miss my mom too, you know. And I miss my dad. Holding your hand feels comforting for the me who didn't have anyone to hold, well until I came here since my cousins were really good to me."

He held me close and burried his face in my neck mumbling something I didn't understand.

"What did you say? I didn't catch that, I'm sorry."

He raised his head so I looked at him, staring into his eyes that easily found mine.

"I said I'm here now. You'll have a hand to hold, whenever you need it."

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes so I buried my face in his chest listening to the rhythm of his heart.

"I know."