ΩMEGA

Chapter Seven

Kian's POV

I lie silently on the bed, my arms resting over the thick comforter on either side of my body. The clock on the wall opposite the bed reads 2:15 AM and the moon shines brightly through the window despite the curtains being drawn. It's pitch black in the room besides the blue glow but the darkness doesn't feel as eery as it used to be. My lips are dry and my throat has that disgusting taste everyone gets when they first wake up, except I haven't fallen asleep at all. I had prepared for bed at around nine and now here I lie in the dark parts of the early morning.

Peyton is fast asleep. He fell asleep hours ago. I had tried listening to his steady breathing to get myself to sleep but my busy thoughts kept me awake up until now.

Beta Bridger wants to train me? Can omegas even be trained to fight? To stand up for ourselves? To be strong? Can we be trained like an eta and successfully perform like one as well? Zetas and etas are a pack's best warriors. They are at the front lines in war, they travel everywhere and know everything, and they dedicate their entire lives to protecting the pack. How on earth can an omega train as one?

We're supposed to serve and obey. Nothing else. How can Beta Bridger try to train me to do something that simply isn't part of who I am or supposed to be?

At a young age, my purpose as an omega was beaten into me by my parents before they gave me away. Then after that, it was beaten into me constantly by everyone in the pack. The marks run deeper than surface level, their hands and their words are embedded underneath my skin; tattooed in the walls of my brain. Every morning I woke to every night just before I slept, the pain was an incessant reminder of who I was and who I'll always be: an unwanted, unloveable, useless, worthless, filthy omega. Never would I amount to nothing more.

I think back to the zeta I used to live with: Zeta Nelson Calter. He was an evil man. Always abusing me when he had the chance. And his son. Goddess, his son... Jason was worse than his father. Jason was terrible, terrible, terrible. When I lived under his ownership, I used to cry myself to sleep so hard every night that at some point I couldn't cry anymore. So I'd just lie on the dirty mattress in the basement, silently sobbing with no tears. I'd wake up in the mornings with my face swollen. Living with the Calters is what made me stop believing in Goddess. How could She ever put me -- us -- through such torment and expect me to worship her still?

I remember the day I fell into labour with Ivory - Jason's daughter. He wouldn't let the medics care for me and the birth was traumatizing and so incredibly painful with nothing to dull the pain or professionals to help me through it. When I birthed Ava, the theta gave me special medication that allowed my body to better adjust and the iotas helped me through it so her birth went smoothly. I had been in the clinic, an iota held my head, the theta talked me through it.

With Ivory, I had given birth in the Calter's basement and I remember Jason's dark form standing against the wall with his arms crossed as he stared at me, no emotion written on his face not even anger, pleasure, or pity. His younger brother Leon had helped me the best he could but he had little medical experience and none with birthing pups. Jason had expected me to know how to do everything since I had birthed a pup before and because I'm an omega.

I remember sobbing, pleading to Jason to call an iota over. I was terrified for my pup's life and begged Goddess just to end mine. The pain had been nothing I had ever experienced in my life. Yet, I got through it and I even had the privilege to hold and clean Ivory. Ava was taken from me, I didn't even get to see her properly. I just remember her pink form crying with her little limbs spread stiffly as the iotas hastily carried her away. But Jason let me hold Ivory, he even let me kiss her. So maybe he wasn't as evil as the others. He let me spend time with one of my daughters.