ΩMEGA

Chapter Nine

Kian's POV

"Do you think it's true?" I ask Peyton and Jenna. 

I'm lying next to Jenna on her bed and Peyton sits cross-legged at the end. Jenna's swollen feet rest in his lap and her head lies against my shoulder. She's tired today but she welcomed us in her room, saying she wanted company and was bored out of her mind. I had run back to the healing centre as soon as Beta Bridger let me borrow his amazing book, excited to show Peyton and Jenna. 

"I wish it was," Jenna says, "it all sounds made up."

"But it's our history, isn't it? Peyton?" I look at him, hoping he'd agree with me but his face tells me he's skeptical. He flips through the huge book and shakes his head, scoffing as he passes the Omega section.

"I can't believe any of this," he says, "how can you?"

I try to think about his question. Why do I believe this book and what Bridger told me? Do I actually believe it or do I just want to? All my life I've been constantly told that I'm nothing and that I'll always be nothing. This book and Bridger's words may not be true but they wedged open a door that's been shut for so long and allowed just a glimmer of hope to shine through.

"Kian--" Peyton starts as he closes the book. I don't let him finish. I reach forward and take it from him, holding it to my chest.

"It's our history," I say again, "why can't I believe it?"

"I'm not saying that you can't, I'm saying that you shouldn't," Peyton is getting irritated now. He frowns at me, making it seem like he feels sorry for me being so gullible. But why is it so wrong to want something good? To believe something good? Tears well up in my eyes and I move so that Jenna's head isn't touching me anymore.

"I just want to believe that we actually mean something, Peyton!" I argue, "What about this book screams fake to you?"

"Guys..." Jenna starts but Peyton interrupts her.

"So what if it's real, Kian? So what?! As time goes on, history changes, and all that shit gets forgotten. It doesn't matter if all that happened back then because it's not happening now, stop being so fucking gullible and open your eyes. Take that book back to the beta and tell him to stop filling your head full of lies or I will. We don't need a history lesson, we need to leave, we need to just survive."

I glare at him now. I've never felt this angry towards Peyton. I'm so mad at him right now that I don't even realize I'm crying. I keep the heavy book close to my chest as I quickly leave the room, not bothering to say bye to Jenna who probably didn't want such a mess in her room anyway.

As I leave the room, I angrily wipe the treacherous tears on my face. I hate crying when I'm mad, I hate being so emotional. But what if Peyton is wrong? What if we need a history lesson to change everything? We escaped but what about the other omegas we left behind? What about the other omegas in all the other packs around the world? Surely my old pack isn't the only one who does terrible things to us. But what if everyone knew about our history? Wouldn't they want to follow what Goddess did? Maybe She abandoned me because She abandoned the whole pack. After all, my pack refused to obey Her and ignored Her. Should I hate Her for that? She took my wolf away, She took everything away from me, and then abandoned me when I needed Her the most.

I stop in my tracks, standing in front of the pack house with the book held tightly against my chest.

I do hate Her and I should, right? Goddess could have saved me, She could have spoken to Syrus and told him all he needed to know to help me get out. But She didn't. She took him away and left me all alone in a godless pack.