ΩMEGA

Chapter Twenty

At some point, I got tired of writing Alpha Arron so just know that Kian always refers to Arron as 'Alpha Arron' even in thought

Kian

I've never kissed someone before.

Well...I've never wanted to kiss someone before. I've been forced into kissing Jason and I never enjoyed it. He'd hold my face so I couldn't move it away and dig his nails into my skin. He always found a way to make everything we did together as painful as he possibly could. So I vowed to myself that I'd never do anything like that with someone to save myself from the pain.

But then I kissed Bridger. And it didn't hurt. It made my stomach feel as though it was doing a back flip over and over again even after the kiss was long over. His lips were softer than I expected and his thin beard tickled against my chin. I just don't know what came over me to do it, especially with how inexperienced I am with kissing. But despite his shock, he seemed to enjoy it. I wanted to kiss him again and again, but I stopped myself, settling for one of his amazing hugs instead.

What surprises me the most is, when I kissed him, I felt absolutely no fear. Until now, the idea of being intimate with someone like that put so much fear in my chest that I felt I might pass out. But last night, it felt so natural and nothing was forced; I didn't feel disgusted afterward the way I always felt when Jason kissed me. I felt nice, I felt good and confident.

I can't stop thinking about our kiss, though. Even now, as I look down at him from where I stand next to his bed. I woke up much earlier than we usually do and couldn't get back to sleep. I felt awkward lying next to him after what happened last night; we didn't even talk about it after we left the woods. So I got up and made both of us breakfast since he's always the one cooking.

It...it felt nice to be able to do things because I want to do them not out of fear or because I have to. Bridger made it clear he'd never hurt me for anything so I felt safer deciding what I want to do and not want to do with my time. It's why I felt confident last night when I kissed him. It just feels nice to be able to live freely. to be able to cook when I want to; to clean when I want to. To sleep next to and be held by someone who only radiates warmth and kindness.

It feels good to be able to have a choice. Omegas are expected to cook and clean and do everything else. But Bridger makes me feel good about choosing to do that.

Bridger's story last night suddenly pops into my mind. He sounded so ashamed as he told it. I've never seen a higher-ranking member of a pack refuse to meet a lower-ranking member's eye or have such a lack of confidence. He held his head down and his voice shook. I've never experienced that with a superior before. Bridger showed me an honest side of him – something he's clearly kept hidden for a long time. Hearing him tell me something he's so ashamed of made me feel better since it feels like I've done nothing but dump my past onto him and force him to clean it up.

If anything, hearing Bridger's story made him seem more real. It made any leftover pieces of fear or nervousness I had towards him disappear. His story showed me that he isn't as perfect as he shows himself to be. I don't feel as gross and broken next to him knowing that he's also made bad mistakes.

I smile at him as I reach out and nudge his shoulder. He's so handsome while he sleeps and I feel bad for waking him so early. He's handsome all the time, though.

Bridger doesn't budge so I silently nudge him again. He releases a soft, low groan but aside from that, doesn't move to wake up. I shake his shoulder a little harder.

"Bridger," I whisper, "I woke up early–"

His arm wraps around my waist. My eyes widen as he pulls me towards him, my knees hitting the side of the bed as I fall forward. I place my hands on his chest to keep from falling on him.