Greenhouse || Xavier Thorpe x Male Reader

counting petals || chapter 3

 I inhale sharply and close my eyes. Enid told Xavier that she thought... she thought I had feelings for him. I open my eyes again, trying to regulate my breath. I look around at the vast array of flowers and nod toward Xavier, signaling him to continue.

"She said that she thinks you have feelings for someone in our friendship circle. I... I wanted to make sure it wasn't who I thought it was," he explains. I feel like someone had taken a large thorn and stabbed it straight into my stomach. I hadn't even had the chance to process these feelings myself before I was robbed of any chance of success. The plants around me begin to wither and Xavier notices.

"Oh, no. Okay, um, [Y/N], you don't have feelings for Wednesday, right?" he asks quickly, pushing away some of the plants. I shake my head rapidly, relieved he doesn't know, but the stabbed feeling isn't fading.

"No, no, no. Of course I don't have feelings for Wednesday. I don't know where you would get that idea," I tell him. His mood seems to shift, but in what direction, I can't tell. He looks around at the plants again, before leaning closer to me.

"[Y/N]," he whispers, almost afraid someone will overhear, "Are you gay?"

I move away from him and begin to lose control over my breathing. Count the petals on the flowers, [Y/N], I tell myself. I can't bring myself to look over at him, so I close my eyes again. Whenever I feel stressed, or out of control, I close my eyes to help me focus again. When I feel calm enough to look at him again, I see that he moved closer to me with a worried look in his eyes. I realize that I've subconsciously wrapped my arms around myself, almost like I'm giving myself a hug.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry if that came off too strong. If you are... gay, there's nothing wrong with it at all. I know that there are a lot of people that aren't very supportive, but I don't agree with them," Xavier explains. My head begins to slip out of my grasp, so I walk over and lean against him before closing my eyes again. He seems taken aback but places an arm over my chest in a kind of half-hug.

"What if I were, though?" I ask quietly. "I don't want to ruin whatever friendship I have with you."

"That wouldn't ruin anything, [Y/N]. If you were, well, that wouldn't change how I see you. You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready to talk," he tells me. I inhale deeply, counting the imaginary petals of flowers in my mind.

"Xavier, I think I am. I don't know, but I'm pretty sure," I say, turning around to look at him. He nods.

"I'm glad that you trust me enough for that. I want to show you that I return that trust," he replies. "I... I'm also gay. I've known for years, but I've never wanted to tell anyone because I was afraid. You may wonder why my parents don't show up to Parent's weekend."

I hug him with as much strength as I can muster. No wonder Xavier was talking about people that weren't supportive if he'd had those people as parents.

"You didn't have to tell me that just because I told you something, you know," I whisper.

"I wanted to tell you, though. We've known each other for months, been friends for months. At first, I just figured you deserved to know as my roommate, but then we continued to be friends, to get closer. I knew I had to tell you because I didn't want to keep you in the dark about how I felt," he explains. After he says the last sentence, I blink, confused.

"How you felt?" I ask, hoping that it means what I would mean it to be if I had said it.

"Yes, how I felt. How I feel. Toward you," he says, and I begin to think there are anxious undertones in his words.

"I don't understand," I begin earnestly, but he cuts me off before I can finish.

"[Y/N], I told you I was gay because I have feelings for you. I have had feelings for you for months now," Xavier tells me. Suddenly, the pieces click in my brain.

"I... Well, look around," I joke. "This greenhouse is pretty much an entire confession."

The mood of the greenhouse lightens from a serious conversation to a casual conversation, and he and I stay there until it's nearly curfew. Then, we walk back up to the dormitory, both of us having a massive stone lifted from our hearts.

~=~

The next day, the group of us sits in the Weathervane, waiting for Wednesday to return from her therapy session. Xavier and I are joined on our side of the booth by Ajax, who is chatting with Enid about something related to this year's Rave'N. I'm not really paying attention to their conversation, but the familiar sound of Wednesday's boots clicking against the floor draws my attention. She sits down next to Enid and looks at me, then looks at Xavier.

"[Y/N], Xavier. Something has happened. Your dynamic has shifted," she announces to the group. I laugh nervously.

"What are you talking about? We're still the same as always," I tell her, but she shakes her head.

"You avoid physical contact with each other and neither of you has been paying attention to anything. I've been watching you for a couple of minutes before I came in."

Xavier and I look at each other and then back at her. Even though our eyes only met for a fraction of a second, it was enough to convey a conversation. 'Are we going to tell her?' 'Not yet.'

"Wednesday, while it is terrifying that you were watching us, I swear we haven't changed a bit," he says. She shrugs and walks over to the bar to get her drink. Ajax gets up to use the restroom, and Enid bangs her head on the table.

"Woah, Enid, you okay?" I ask. She looks at us with round puppy-dog eyes, threatening to spill tears.

"She noticed that something was going on with you two because she watched you for five minutes, but we're roommates and in all the same classes and she can't notice anything about me," Enid wails quietly. Xavier and I share a glance of panic, Enid has never said anything that wasn't part of her normal Pinkie Pie charm.

"Enid, I'm sure Wednesday notices you," he attempts to console her, but it just makes her more upset.

"She doesn't notice me like I want her to, though," she says. Oh.

"You need to talk to her. You know Wednesday, she's... not the best when it comes to feelings. She can discern the dynamic of two people, but she can't read your mind. If you want her to see your feelings, you can't just rely on body language and spoken hints," I explain. She nods and sits back up as Wednesday returns with her drink. Xavier and I get up to hopefully allow Enid to speak to Wednesday properly. While we walk out of the Weathervane and back to Nevermore, I think about Wednesday's observations. Our dynamic has changed, but I don't know if it's for the better.