Greenhouse || Xavier Thorpe x Male Reader

clair de lune || chapter 29

 I sit on my bed, reading a book as Xavier sketches something. He leans over his desk with a deep look of concentration, trying to get every line right. Normally while he draws, there's a record of some kind playing, but today the only sound in the room is the pencil scratching against the paper and me turning the pages of my book.

There's almost an intensity surrounding his work today, the way he draws and erases until it is exactly as he wants it to be. I set down my book and turn to watch him from afar, taking in his expression change as he continues to sketch. It shifts with the progress of the drawing, from a furrowed brow and locked stare to a somewhat relaxed one as he drops into the feeling of this particular piece.

I turn back around to read again, but I can't concentrate on my book. Not wanting to disturb Xavier, I get up and leave the room as quietly as possible. There's not much to do this close to curfew in the school, so I head down to the library. That place seems to sprawl on for ages, always expanding when I think I've seen it all.

When I arrive there, I wander around for a little bit before my gaze falls onto something I'd never noticed. A baby grand. Thinking about it, it makes sense that a school like Nevermore would have a piano. I walk over to it and run my fingers over the ivory keys, wiping away layers of dust. I'd been taking lessons since I was six, but the last time I'd seen a piano was at school before I switched schools. I wonder if I could play again.

I sit down, thinking through the pieces I know. After doing a few quiet warm-ups to acquaint myself with the sound, I rest my hands on the opening notes for one of my favorite pieces, Clair de Lune. I first learned it in middle school for a talent show, but the piece was so beautiful I kept it refreshed in my memory. Given the fact that I haven't played in months, I hit a few wrong notes, but they get lost in the sound of the song flowing through this small space. When it was too dangerous for me to use my abilities and potentially reveal my status as an outcast, I had to find another hobby. Playing piano was a way to also create something beautiful, but just less dangerous for my family. Now that I'm in a school for outcasts, that hobby had to fall aside. I'm glad to be able to pick it up again.

I've never played on a baby grand before, even with my ten years of experience. The school had a basic upright and all of my lessons were there. Recitals were also just in the school auditorium. This piano has such a different sound from the upright, filling the room with more ease and clarity. If I had known about this sooner and had thus been able to practice more, it would have sounded magical.

I allow myself to not think, to just get lost in the sound flowing from my memory out into the room. The piece begins to prepare for the ending, and the last notes seem to be almost sorrowful. Sad to be ending, mourning the fact that whenever I play this piece again here it will not sound as magical as the first time. The final note fades off into silence, still ringing in the back of my ears. I continue to sit at the piano for a minute, hands still poised for the ending of the piece, until someone breaks the silence.

"I didn't know you played, [Y/N]," a warm voice says. I turn around.

"Xavier?" I ask, surprised. "I thought you were working."

He walks over and shrugs. "I was, but you left and I was distracted. You never leave this close to curfew, so I followed you down here."

"I'm sorry for interrupting your work, then."

"Don't be. It's healthy to take a break every once in a while. Helps you refocus. And besides, now I got to hear you play."

"I haven't practiced in months," I tell him, trying to deflect the attention. "Let's go back upstairs before curfew comes and we get yelled at for being out."

He takes my hand and nods, and we walk back upstairs. Even though my playing wasn't the best it could be, I'm happy about my discovery of the piano. I can't spend all my time in the greenhouse, after all.

~=~

With the ability to continue pursuing an old hobby, April seems to fly by. Between time spent with Xavier and our friends (or just the two of us), in class, working in the greenhouse, or playing piano, time just ticks past. Our exams get closer and closer, and Enid's excitement about being upperclassmen next year gets larger and larger.

"Did you know," she says excitedly one afternoon, "that starting next year we won't have the Rave'N anymore? The upperclassmen-"

"Get the Dark Prom, yes, Enid, you told us already," Ajax sighs. She hits him in the shoulder.

"I'm just very excited, okay? You could do with some more excitement, you're almost becoming Wednesday at this point."

He shrugs. "I just want to get through exams. I'm sure Xavier and [Y/N] would agree with me, right?"

The two of us nod. Enid rolls her eyes and turns to her girlfriend.

"Wednesday, aren't you at least a little bit excited for next year?"

"No. This year was miserable enough," she responds. Enid pouts.

"You guys are no fun."

"We'll be plenty of fun after we all get through exam season. It's important for life outside of Nevermore," I point out.

"It's not like any of us can get into a university," she reminds me. "You know how unfavorable they are towards outcasts."

I shake my head, chuckling slightly. "I never thought I'd say this to you, Enid, but stop being such a pessimist. If you do well on exams, that's got something to show. And it's not like I want to go to some big-name school that has to worry about its reputation. Community college is just fine for me."

"Ugh, this is depressing. Let's talk about something else."

And so the conversation shifts from college and exams to the summertime. All of us are thankful for the distraction from the upcoming weeks, but it isn't avoidable forever. We'll be back to this topic tomorrow, and likely the day after that as well. It's an unfortunate reality of having the constant prejudice of normies against you. Futures are an unstable thing.