A Broken Heart (KimChay fanfic)

Chapter 41 - Broken fingers, Broken trust

The drive home was much safer and silent. Yuri was still nervous but I assure him it was okay. I've decided I should call my brother first before he decided It was good to catch a plane and appear here.

When we got to the mansion, Yuri stayed out and talked to his men, Hayato was with them and I knew they were going to torture him for informations or just so he could learn the lesson but I don't want to think about that.

I go to my room and call my brother instead.

"Hia?" I ask once he picks up

"What the hell were you doing in a night club of one of the most powerful men in Japan?" he asks mad "He is also a scumbag! Where has that little shit been taking you?"

"Hia, I'm okay. I was just helping Yuri with somethings. It's really late here, can we talk tomorrow?" I ask trying to keep at least one conversation for tomorrow because I know P'Kim and Matteo are not going to let me go unless I tell them everything

"Tomorrow and don't think you can talk your way out of this one!" he says before hanging up

I take some deep breaths to calm myself down and try to find a way to explain everything to them before calling, but I was too nervous, so I just picked the phone and decided I was going to figure it out while talking so I pressed call.

"P'Kim? Matteo?" I ask but they are silent for a moment "I..."

"What the hell you're you thinking going to that kind of bar and staying alone with that man?" Matteo says angry.

"Porchay, we are not there with you, but I don't want to receive a call from my spies telling me where you are and what you are doing, so tell us what have you really been doing there?" he asks also angry

"I'm helping Yuri, I'm training, I help with paperwork too..." I start

"You're working for the Yakuza?" Matteo cuts me

"I suppose you could say that..." I say

"Why? If you wanted to work directly for a leader of something, you have me, you don't need to work for Yuri... I mean, I have just as much paperwork and as good teachers..." Matteo started but when P'Kim touched his arm he stopped

"Can you explain everything Porchay?" P'Kim asked coldly.

"I am not here because I didn't want to be with you, I'm here because I needed to do this for myself alone. I need to prove to myself that I'm worthy, that I can be with the two of you without being a weight. I need to do this alone..."

"But we can help you, we can help you be whoever you want to be, we can provide the best teacher, the most defying dilemmas..." Matteo starts again

"Matteo... let's listen to him, he has his reasons and we need to at least try and understand them." P'Kim say

"I know you can do all of this for me, but I... " I say "I want to make my own name, I don't want to be known as Matteo's pretty boyfriend or the guy that got his heart broken by P'Kim or even the boy that mafias are playing with... I deserve to have a name and this is about that." I take a deep breath "These past few months a lot happened and I was just a kid, I wasn't prepared for it, any of it! If I want a life with you two, I need to be prepared and this is the better way to do it. I have been training since I got here, I have been doing all the paperwork with Yuri and he explains thing to me, I learned how to fight, how to see beyond, how to meditate..."

"But you could have done all of that here, with us!" Shit, Matteo is really hurt

"Yes, you are right, I couldn't and I didn't want to, that's the truth, I didn't want to do this with you!" I say and their eyes change "You two, you are already some of the best, but I, I am at the bottom of the food chain. I want to grow before going back to you..." I take another deep breath "I don't know how to explain it, being here now, it feels right, it feels like this is where I am supposed to be. I... I have other things to do here, I need to heal, I need to love myself again and I can't do that based on your love, it needs to be mine, my love to myself..." I try to explain the best I can, but I don't think I was very successful