Chapter 42 - Back

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Author's note: This chapter was NOT fully revised.

"Porchay?" I hear Yuri calls me "Do you have everything?"

Yes, the mouths went by and it was almost December, Yuri and I would go back to Thailand for the holidays. I was excited and sad at the same time, because I knew I wasn't coming back, but I would be with P'Kim and Matteo again and I really miss them.

Last Christmas it was just me and Yuri, it was a bit boring but we went to Yuri's mountain house and I could see snow. It was like a dream come true, everything was so white, snow everywhere, we did a video call with everyone, and it ended up being fun. My year here has already ended, I started university, but I'm doing it online this semester, I just didn't want to leave like that, so I waited two more months and now we are going.

The truth is, I'm a bit freaked out, I haven't seen Matteo and P'Kim in person in a long time and all the things we did online were making me nervous and shy. One important detail is that this trip is also a surprise, nobody knows we're going today, they think we're only going in two weeks, so I'm really excited to surprise everyone.

"I'm just taking one final look." I say

"You can always come back anytime you want, the door it's open." He says entering the room with a little box

"What's that?" I ask curious

"Well, since you are collecting mafias around your neck I thought I could help a little." He says smiling and giving me the box

"I already have the tattoo, you didn't need to give me a necklace." I say and it's true, I had done a small dragon tattoo a couple months ago, Yuri wanted a bigger dragon and on somewhere that was more visible so I joined him and did one too, it was on the lower part of the side of my body, one and a half hand bellow my armpit. I didn't show it to anyone besides Yuri that was there when I got it and to P'Kim and Matteo on more intimate occasions.

"Just open it." he says and I open the box to see a very delicate silver necklace with a Shen-Long charm and the eyes were two emeralds

"It's beautiful!" I say "Thank you, you really didn't have to..."

"It's not a simple necklace, all around the world, if you ever need anything, if there's Yakuza there, they will help you. You're part of this and thank you for this year." He says opening his arms

"Thank you for everything, this... I'm sure I'll remember it as one of the best years of my life." I say hugging him back

"Wait! We can't get emotional now, we still have to get on the plane and get drunk together one last time." he says breaking the hug and I laugh "C'mon, finish up everything here so we can go, I need alcohol for your goodbye." He says leaving

I was afraid, afraid of leaving this. last year, I wanted to leave Thailand because I felt like I had to, to grow, and to get over everything, but now, I just wish P'Kim and Matteo could move here.

I take one look at the room, I see an empty closet, an empty bathroom, an empty bed... everything is ready for me to leave, but I'm scared to take that step. I'm not a sweet little boy anymore and I'm not traumatized Porchay either, I'm just me, but leaving the comfort of this room... I see all the talks I had with Yuri, the movies and the ice cream, the first time I did something with P'Kim and Matteo, when I got into fashion again and my bed was always full of clothes, my guitar laying there, the birthday cake Yuri wake me up with by putting it in my face and getting all the bed dirty... memories, but I can always make more. I turn my back on this room and take when step at the time, and then I close the door.

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