Northern Lands: Bound by fate

Chapter 18

ZANDER

She was gone, fucking gone.

My head pounded. The insecurities, the worries, the wondering what had happened to her. It all came crashing into me like being hit by a wild grizzly bear during a hunt.

No one could tell me what had happened to her, or to Faolan, for that matter. We theorized he had been under a spell to betray his own pack, but other than setting fire to his own cabin and a dead body that couldn't answer our questions, we had nothing. It felt like I wanted to grasp smoke with my bare hands.

My mind was so occupied with controlling Conan and not shifting into my wolf to search for her, I didn't take part in the surrounding conversations. The need to know Calandra was safe, burned into my every fiber, crawling over my skin as a raging fire and consuming me.

I hadn't been exactly grateful towards Kenna, even if she dropped everything and came as quickly as she could to inspect the mangled remains of my pack member, but my head wasn't in the right place at the moment. I hoped my close friend could understand the turmoil that was raging inside me. All the questions that assaulted my mind and the few answers I held onto, like a sliver of light in the darkness.

We had limited time today. They would hold the pack run tonight because of the full moon. When I finally tuned in to what Leander and Alpha Kaan were discussing, it would also be the moment of Faolan's burning ceremony. The pack couldn't wait for more investigations to be conducted, magical or ritual. The Moon Goddess was closest to the werewolf species during a full moon. It was the perfect moment for Faolan's wolf's spirit to join her and reincarnate in his next life.

A crew of warriors and Luna Moriko were called to attend to Faolan's body and the preparations for the burning, a pagan funeral on wooden spires. The moment they arrived, Leander grabbed me by my arm and dragged me along, back to the packhouse.

The forest passed by in a blur, as I could pay no attention to my surroundings, my feet following my Beta in silent resignation. The faint scent of my mate that hung in the air taunted me, mocking me for my ineptitude. I kept walking through the soot stained snow, without uttering a single word.

Conan howled in my mind, the uncertainty caving in and as I trailed behind my cousin the steps to the wraparound porch of the packhouse, and my fist slammed into the railing, breaking the wood with a thunderous crack. Splinters flew around, one scraping my skin and drawing blood. The wound closed slowly as I licked the crimson drop.

Leander didn't turn around to watch me or to scold my actions. Accepting of my anger manifesting itself, I entered his office behind him, and Leander closed the door with a hollow thud.

"Zander," he said sternly, with no trace of Novak in his voice or red glimmering in his eyes, but enough power as he pronounced the words. "Pull yourself together, or I will."

Raw force laced the command, and Conan quieted immediately in my head. I knew Leander wouldn't issue his warning Beta tone with me unless absolutely necessary, and I was grateful I had him paying attention enough to see that I was losing the grasp on myself and my wolf.

"With the full moon only hours away, we need to make a head start." Leander issued, taking the cigarette bud from behind his ear and lighting it. "Alpha Kaan and Luna Moriko will have their hands full cleaning up the mess out there and preparing the ceremony."

"You're right." I nodded.

"We can take the bikes and move around town." Leander took a drag, the smoke thickening around him as he paced by the door. "Where do we go first?"

"Ilaria's bookstore."

Being Calandra's best friend and ally, I had to visit Ilaria, bring her the devastating news, and hope fiercely she didn't feel the need to cut my balls off and offer them to the deity of another realm. She had entrusted me with Calandra's safety, and I had blatantly failed at that task. I truly believed the pack was the safest place to keep her out of harm's way.