𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒, pablo gavi

ix.

⌜NINE⌟

"you know you really made me hate myself"
—EVERGREEN, omar apollo

➸

REGRET IS A FUNNY FEELING ISNT IT? ITS RATHER DIFFICULT TO describe in words alone, actions are more commonly used to define the word regret. the amount of stages which builds up towards this emotion, and the aftermath of the regret itself, is enough to write an entire book.

so for the majority of rosaline rómeros and pablo gavira's fairytale book, the theme of regret plays a major part — and i mean major. but somehow, this agonising feeling, was what the two secretly shared in common.

    sure, the pair obviously shared their stubbornness alongside their politeness, however their guilt which was built upon their actions during the recent conflict with the other, would certainly be classed as these similarities (if they would openly admit their feelings of shame to the opposer.)

    and currently, this secret feeling, was all that was brewing within the mind of a very emotional gavi. his arms were resting upon the table of the meal — the place where he had fled back too after the disagreement. his now bloodshot eyes, primary focused ahead of him, his head, frozen in place and his body had numbed from the overwhelming emotions piling up within his system.

    emotions that gavi was most definitely not familiar with.

    a mix of sorrow, anger, resentment, but also this outlier. this outlier being the feeling of memorisation. yes, he regretted the words he used to express his anger towards the girl he resented. but still, after several years, he was completely and utter mesmerised by her charming face. every little feature was, and always had been permanently imprinted within the mind of the seventeen year old.

     his pupils pulsated within the visual redness of his  eyes at the thought of the blonde. years ago, the boy would undoubtedly say, that rosaline rómeros, was the definition of perfect. her looks, her personality. everything. sure, he was only a young boy, but he wasn't young enough to understand the emotions of taking an interest in someone. especially when he would spend each day on end with the girl.

    but now, the boy had matured, and so did his awareness to the reality of this universe. and the series of events that took place between the two, clarified for him. that nobody was perfect. not him, not her. nobody.

   nevertheless, gavira had definitely been tought the importance of everyone being unique, different. each individual person, has their own idea of how the world works, and each individual person has their own idea of perfection. and despite how many times, gavi had wanted to convince himself that his heart was incorrect, there was always that lingering feeling inside him, that within that same heart, rosaline rómeros was his idea of perfect — although at this moment in time, he was positive, that this opinion was completely incorrect.