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the air was thick with everything. the smell of alcohol, the taste of laughter, the touch of gentle hands, the sound of smiles, and the sight of happiness. cami sat next to drew, smiling as everyone talked around her; engaged and listening, but too timid to speak.
odessa was on the other side of drew, and the whole cast was talking about filming experiences and who knows what else. she laughed when everyone else did, but she wanted the comfort of drew. cami slid her hand into his, still smiling.
odessa's words halted for a moment, her eyes flickering down to their hands with an emotion—was it disgust?—written on her face.
then she started back up again, and drew looked at cami with a tight smile. he gave her hand a little squeeze before dropping it, turning ever so slightly away from her to give his attention to odessa.
tears pricked at the back of her eyes. she felt her chest almost constrict a little, and she cleared her throat, letting her hair fall over her face under the pretense of looking for something in the purse situated on her lap.
what was that?
and more overwhelmingly ... was caleb right?
cami tried to brush away her thoughts. put on a sweet face, camille. get through this night. it will be alright.
no one knew that she had a history of panic attacks, and cami was internally fighting one as she looked back up, focusing on a different conversation. she didn't look directly at drew once, and picked at her food for the rest of the night. every time odessa laughed at something drew said, or touched his arm "as a friend", it felt like a little piece of her heart broke.
and she should have known, really. why would an actor fall for some nobody from new york city? more specifically, an inexperienced girl. drew was only her second serious boyfriend, and cami often felt guilty that her body wasn't satisfying drew's needs. she was too young, too naive, too good.
the group ended up going back to drew's apartment after, and it was nearly two in the morning when everyone finally left. drew shut the door with a close, a smile on his face. he turned around, but cami wasn't in the main living room anymore.
drew's brow furrowed. "cami?"
she walked in, pulling her hair up into a messy bun. with her arms raised, her shirt exposed her stomach, and her ribs underneath. drew caught sight of one of her hickeys, and once her hair was up, another on her neck. "yeah?"
he came over to cami, rubbing her back, pulling her close to him. "you good? you seemed off tonight."
"yeah..." cami but her lip, debating whether or not to bring up her doubts. drew sensed her hesitation and cupped her face with his hands. the cold of his ring was familiar against her skin, and she kissed one of his hands lightly as his thumb ran over her lips, caressing her cheeks.
