cause you've begun to feel like home

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Sorry for not updating for a while ;-; I'll try and make this a cuter/fluffier chapter ig if I can to make up for it - sorry again lol

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He Xuan had been keeping up this little facade for a month, he had to admit it felt better watching over Shi Qingxuan this way, it felt like the older times when he had been deceiving the poor wind master. However, these slight feelings he had been having for Shi Qingxuan had only continued to grow since.

He had to come clean sooner or later. 

"Hong! Do you wanna go scavenging later?" Every now and then they would go out into the small woods near the shrine to see if they could find fresh fruit. He Xuan looked up from the onion he had been slicing neatly. "Okay." He quickly replied. He really did remind Shi Qingxuan of He Xuan with the plain but somehow nice attitude.

His boring consistency gave Shi Qingxuan comfort when they were still friends. He didn't get too mad easily, he didn't really use him like the other officials did and he never changed from loving food and being a responsible and calculated person.

"By the way... would you mind helping me out with some gardening later? I know I haven't asked you before but I was just curious..." He probably just wanted some help with the gardening and nothing more to it in He Xuan's mind so he accepted quickly; "Of course, when will we start?" Shi Qingxuan beamed at this before pulling him out of his seat and dragging him into the garden.

They sat at the stone table outside pilling things onto the counter which they would need for the gardening, if only they knew what Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had done on this stone table while Shi Qingxuan's brother's head was being pulled off. (Sorry not sorry ;)) 

Shi Qingxuan tossed him a large black shovel, similar to the one "Ming Yi" used. "Go ahead!" He smiled, if they were really similar he would be really bad at using this. "O-okay..." 'God why am I stuttering.' He dug it into a small spot before lifting it back up and tossing the dirt aside, although he didn't do it quite well since it instantly fell back into the small crevice he had made.

"Wow. You are really bad at this! You're just like- ah never mind. Let me show you." They spent the afternoon passing the shovel back and forth while planting a variety of vegetables. "Perfection!" Shi Qingxuan exclaimed once they had finished. "Qingxuan... I have a question... who is this man you keep comparing me to...?" 

He already knew who it was but if he at least knew what Shi Qingxuan thought of him before he came clean it could make it all the more easier. 

"Ah... it is a rather sad tale in my eyes but sure... over dinner of course." 

They sat once again in Puqi shrine chopping away at a variety of foods. Shi Qingxuan watched He Xuan chopping the pork into small cubes before beaming. "Yup! Just like that! Anyway, you wanted to hear about this man?" He Xuan simply nodded while keeping focus on the meat. "Ah well... he was an old friend of mine,  truly I thought of him as my dearest friend in the world at the time, but one thing led to another, and well... he wasn't who he turned out to be..." 

At this rate, Shi Qingxuan definitely didn't sound like he was over the betrayal.

"He was actually a ghost... impersonating a heavenly official to get revenge on my brother... he captured us one day during my brother's heavenly tribulation and then he... killed my brother." He Xuan's brows furrowed... he still somewhat regretted this. "Ge... had it coming though. I can't believe I would say this but I understand why he did it. If someone swapped my fate with their brother's and my whole family... including my brother died horribly because of it I would want to exact revenge." 

He Xuan looked up at this, he knew he had a stupid confused look on his face but he needed to know more. "Do you think they might feel bad for putting you through that?" He had to keep Shi Qingxuan talking. "I... Who knows. I don't think so myself, after all, I haven't seen him in years... but I have had these thoughts for some time that maybe he did regret it..." He really had to come clean.

"I think he regrets it more than anything- well if I was him I would think of myself as crazy to have done that to a wonderful person like you. Sure you didn't know and you deserved to know but he probably didn't want you to suffer like that." He really wanted to stop talking but he couldn't help rambling on, letting his mind flow. "I regretted it so much... I didn't want to hurt you really. At the time I was angry and vengeful but now I just want things to be the same with us being friends... I miss you-"

He looked over to Shi Qingxuan's shocked face, jaw dropped. He said too much.

"What?" 



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