solace | theboyz

30

emergency department of the hospital usually has been taking over as the busiest section, with patients coming in and out through the glass doors. from small cuts and worried parents to extreme traumatic cases that one can't even imagine seeing infront of them, they had been trained so well to suck it all up, not even showing the slightest emotions through while bringing the patients into their needed medical attention.

everything moves fast; the doctors, the screaming kids, even the unconscious patients that came in with blood splattered everywhere were pushed off with urgency. the word emergency is enough to define what is it like there.

but today, everything rather seems different. emotions that was trained best to be put away are all visible in their faces. even the one who everyone calls him ruthless when it comes to his work, the one that has the outmost respect for being the best trauma surgeon who never displays emotion through his face even when he's handling something gruesome; eric sohn, he's no exception.

everything seems so blue, and their hearts holds onto the same hope that rather seems like they're making a fool out of themselves. as doctors, they knew that believing in something that can't be proved with something solid, isn't something that they should take on. everything has to be proven by science, and this hope that they are holding onto; a miracle to be fulfilled, appears as if fates mocking towards them.

it's easy to say when they are not one of you.

eric walks out from the room full with people moving around trying to save a life, feeling suffocated. he rips his surgical gown and the gloves, throwing it away into the trash. heaving a heavy sigh, he brings himself to seat on one of the bench near the reception desk, trying to find some peace in his mind.

too many emotions that rushes to both his mind and heart, that tears quickly burst from his eyes. he cries, hard. others watch him as he crumbles down, holding his hair as his eyes betrays him even more, letting tears out like waterfall.

sunwoo walks out from another trauma room, his eyes wander around looking for eric and spots him right away, seemingly crying like a baby. he brings himself to the young attending, sitting beside him. he puts one of his arms onto eric's shoulder, shaking him slightly.

"you know that he'll hate seeing you like this, did you?" sunwoo starts, keeping his arm around the latter.

"he's just so young.. why did he have to go through so much ?" eric replies, still couldn't make out his words correctly due to his shortness of breath.

"i know.. there's nothing you, or anyone can do about it. stop blaming it on yourself, you knew it was about time.. right?" sunwoo sighs, slumping his shoulders down to the wall. "i thought i could bear with it, but it's hard knowing that it's one of us that lies on the bed."

eric nods slowly, "i wonder how is she doing, i can't imagine what she feels right now."

"she is.. holding on. i don't have any idea how would she endure this, but i know that she also knew that it was coming.. she's a doctor, she thinks like we do."

as if on cue, the said person walks through the hallway with a bag pack on her back, unreadable expression written across her face. she drags her feet on each steps, feeling heavy as if there is something chaining her down to the floor. their eyes went straight looking at her figure as she moves slowly.

funny how the person who believes nothing in neither miracles nor fates, now is chanting prayers as it sucks out her soul bit by bit. all because of the ruined dreams that she thought she was closed enough to have a strong grip on it, guess she was wrong all the way.

lee hyunjae has returned to his sleep, his long deep sleep that one can never tell if he is going to wake up and see another sunrise.

actually, not that anyone could have not tell. it is just as simply as they can't pronounce it out from their lips. the only words that define lee hyunjae's future to be exact; not one of the doctors dared to speak. not even one of them wants to take the responsibility of announcing that they will, sooner or later, lose one of their own people.

not when they saw it before their eyes how miserable sara chae is when she found out he slipped into the coma for the second time when she was stupidly drunk and passed out on his side.

sara drags herself through the hallway, feeling like she is about to pass out. there is her body walking, but no one really knows if she's even there. her soul is gone, every steps that she takes reminds her of being a product of failure. she keeps on walking, tears flowing down her cheeks as she fasten her pace.

the world around her seems like a passing thoughts, none of them feels real anymore as she breaks into running, half trying to outrun from voices that rings inside her head.

the sound of loud crash finally brings her back into reality, her heart starts beating faster. she stays frozen, feeling her scraped knews drawn blood to the floor. she turns her head, once again feels like her heart was about to fall when she sees a huge ambulance is right next to her.

"what.. what is happening?" she lets out, writhing in pain right after. a voice startled her out, ushering every thoughts in her head for the moment.

"sara chae ! are you alright ?" the voice shouts, right before her ears. sara feels her head spinning around when she sees more blood coming out from her knees. she was about to make out a word and then all she knows is all turns into black.

—
"i know you're awake. open your eyes, we need to talk about something."

the chief of surgery sighs, looking at sara's stiff body. her eyelids flew open, and he sees nothing but a soulless smile from her. he took his seat right next to her, hands holding a rather important piece of paper.

sara adjusts herself, now sitting on the bed, still having the smile on her face. there is nothing to offer other than smiles. she keeps looking at him, and the chief just let her be. he coughs lightly, fixing his vocal chords as he finally shows her the paper.

"seeing through it, he does not have any close family members left and the only person who have the right to sign this is-"

"i'm not signing it." she cuts the chief, not even batting an eye on the yellow piece of paper as she already know damn well what's written on it. in fact, she always done the job during her training period; handing the yellow death sentence paper to be signed by those people who bawled themselves over their loved ones thet seemingly does not have any chance to live anymore. he was about to try again and she cuts him off, again.

"you heard me. i am not signing that paper." she exclaims, "i have no rights to even make any decisions for him now."

"he wrote you as his emergency contact, that's enough proof that you have the rights to do so." younghoon sighs, not giving up.

"my bestfriend.." she inhales, "that is my bestfriend.. how can i do this?" tears rolls down her eyes as she chokes on her breath, "you know damn well i can't just let him go.."

he watches as she broke down into tears, gasping on air desperately between her sobs. there's nothing much he can do for her either, they knew it was about time. they knew that it wasn't meant to last for him, but seeing him holding on for more than a night does really light up a small, now distinguished hope in them.

he gets startled when sara grabs the paper away from his hand, wondering what is going to be her next move. he waits, hoping that somehow she might gave in to it. and she did, with tears covering her face nonstop. she looks up at the chief, smiling painfully as she sign the papers.

"but it hurts more seeing his soulless body keep on breathing the same air as us. he wants to be free, and i will not hold him back." her eyes gradually lowers to the second paper. "if he wants to help the world, then we'll sure have to help him achieve it."

younghoon nods in agreement, taking back the papers as soon as she finishes. "then, you shall do the honor in favour of lee hyunjae. you will be conducting his last surgery.." he stops, trying to hold back any of his emotions from showing.

"and also lee juyeon's receiving surgery. i wish you a very goodluck, doctor chae."