Chapter 7

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DECLAN

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I'm such a fucking pussy.

The thought has been running through my head since I almost kissed Bree in the hot tub.

Why didn't I kiss her?

I've kissed more girls than I can count. So why not this girl? Why not Bree?

Because there's never been a risk that a kiss might turn into more. But with Bree, I'd be a fucking idiot to pretend there wasn't potential for something bigger.

It may not be love, but it's feeling dangerous. I swear it already hurts.

Fucking pussy.

The thought echoed again when I hugged her goodbye. And again when her door closed. It played on repeat all the way back to my apartment.

I slide my key into the lock, then lean my forehead against the cool metal of the door.

There's a difference between being disinterested in love and feelings and running away from them like a little bitch. And it's pretty damn obvious that I'm doing the latter. It's pathetic.

Eli was fucking right—which just pisses me off more. Lucky for me, he's not here right now to rub my face in it.

I turn the key and open the door. The lights are on and the TV is too.

Fuck.

"'Bout time!" Eli calls from the couch. He turns around and his brows furrow as he runs his gaze over my frame. "Why are you wet?"

I'm wearing a shirt and swim trunks and have a towel draped over my shoulders. My hair is still damp but not dripping.

"Got hit by a freak tidal wave in the middle of the city," I say with a scowl. "What do you think?"

"Hold up, did you go... swimming?" He stands and crosses his arms, looking genuinely confused.

"Hot tub." I set my towel on a kitchen stool and walk over.

"Hot tub?"

"Yes, Eli, I went up to the hot tub. Fuck," I scrub a hand over my face as I sit down in the armchair. "You're acting like I said I was out fucking the Pope on the street corner."

"I think that would be more believable." He sits back down and rests his elbows on his knees, his brows still pinched. "I didn't even know you owned swim shorts. All you do is work, go to the gym, and work more. And why do you look so..."

Recognition flickers in his eyes and I realize he's reading me using his Cupid gifts.

"Oh fuck off," I say. "Don't fucking read me."

"You're... you were with a girl? The girl?" His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes search mine for confirmation. "What... what happened? Your vibe is all over the place. And not in the good just-got-sucked-off-in-a-hot-tub kind of way."

I let my head fall back and close my eyes.

"I'm a pussy, okay? Does that make you happy?"

"Pussy? Not particularly," he says. "You and I both know that's not really my thing."

I huff and laugh at the same time as I look back at him.

"I think I like her," I say it low, like that somehow makes it less real.

"Yeah, when I mentioned her getting a boyfriend and you lost your cool on me, I kind of figured something was up." His lips twitch, but then his expression morphs into one of concern. "She doesn't, does she?"

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