Sketchbook

Chapter 24

Today, I'm 18 years old. That means I finally have the freedom to do whatever I want. Firstly, I got a new place with Charles so that him and I can finally raise Damien together. It's a lot smaller than my parent's place cause it's what we could afford, but I didn't care. It was a dream come true.
Our first night, Charles would not get off of me. He was constantly hugging me and kissing me. That night.. we did it... a lot. Clearly, he had a lot of pent up frustration since it had been a long time since... the last time. He was a lot more happy than me that we had our own place lol.
Damien's room is so cute. It was painted in pastels: baby blues, greens, and white. It is so cute.

Mother called me at my place after a few days. It was a really sentimental phone call. Mother and I just don't usually talk deeply like that, but she made me tear up.
"Jayda, honey, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. You've been through so much in such little time and I don't even understand it, but I know that it was a lot. I am proud to call you my daughter. God created you for a reason, and to make you strong was one of those reasons."
     I told her how sorry I was for all of the immature things I've done and how thankful I am to call her my Mother.
     Father also told me how proud he was of me. He still doesn't like Charles much, but they do get along very well.

     Charles got back into soccer. He said he wanted to teach soccer to Damien when he gets older. He said he wasn't going to force him to do anything he didn't want to do, but he was going to highly encourage it. I have to agree. I really want Damien to be a part of some type of sport, so he can get some kind of  physical activity.
     Charles got back into soccer for two reasons: to teach Damien, and also because it has always been his dream to become a professional soccer player.

After a while of thinking, I decided to go back to school. I was never sure on what I wanted to be because my future didn't matter to me before. I was just being a young, reckless child who only cared about having fun and causing problems for everyone else. However, I've finally learned to grow up, and to not cause problems for others because it brings me pleasure.
I decided to study psychology and counseling. I want to become a therapist. I wanna help those who have gone through similar tragedies as I have and those around me. Helping others is something that truly brings me happiness.
I had asked my boss at work if they could contact Dr. Carla's family and let Dr. Carla know of the decision I made. It took a while, but I managed to get in contact with her. She said she was so happy for me, and that I will be an amazing therapist one day.
Dr. Carla also gave me her phone number. She said if I ever need anything or just someone to talk to, I could give her a call anytime. You bet I called her a lot. Basically I had filled her in on everything that had happened in my life since we last saw each other even before I was cleaning her home. I told her about Gabby. I told her about Charles and I getting our own place and how cute Damien's room is. She was more than just a therapist then. She became my friend. I will always be thankful for Dr. Carla.

One night after I had a phone call with Dr. Carla, I was laying in bed relaxing since Charles and I worked for hours that day. Charles knocked on the bedroom door and opened it.
"Hey," he said.
"Yea what is it?" I asked.
"There's somewhere I wanna take you," he said with a big smile on his face.
I was very nervous as to why he wanted to take me somewhere when it's already dark out. "Take me somewhere? Where?"
"It's a surprise, c'mon." He then closed the door again leaving me laying there anxious. So, I got up and put some outdoor clothes on and a jacket cause it was pretty cold out. Damien was staying with Mother that night cause she really wanted to keep him, so it was just me and Charles.
He waited for me outside and opened the car door for me. When he got in the driver seat, he held out a blindfold and told me to put it on. I was terrified at this point, but he said to just do it, so I did. Then he started driving.
"Where are we going?" I asked anxiously.
"You'll see when we get there."
"Why so late, though?" I asked.
"Because it looks better at night," he said.
"What looks better at night?" I asked eagerly while laughing with anxiety. I knew he wasn't leading me into a trap, but what could he possibly be leading me into?
We finally got there. He gets out of the car and walks over to my side to help me out. He tells me to watch my step.. as if I could totally do that with a blindfold on.
Eventually we stop. He turns me to position me a bit, but tells me not to take off the blindfold yet.
I can hear him shuffling around, and I told him to hurry up.
Then.. he tells me to take off my blindfold, and when I do...

I see a big beautiful banner. It says "Jayda, I will love you forever." There's golden lights all around it. My parents are here. Anna is here. Mother brought Damien in his little puffer jacket. They're all cheering me for my surprise. I notice we're at the park. The scenery around the decorations just makes it look more beautiful. I noticed a small table in front of the banner, so I approach it. There's a letter on it. I open it. Mother told me to read it out loud. It reads...

"Jayda, the few years that I've spent with you have changed my life for good. The things I've done are unforgivable, but I hope I can make it up to you by showing you just how much I love you. If it's alright with you, I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you. There is no woman more special to me than you. You are so strong and inspiring. If you're interested, turn around.."

I turned around, and there he was. Charles was on one knee with a ring in his hand. I approached him with tears in my eyes. I didn't know what to say, so I just cried.
Charles continued to speak. "Jayda, baby, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Every moment with you is happiness. Every kiss with you is pure bliss. Every embrace is richness. And every time you smile, my heart skips. I want to share my love with you for as long as I live. And I promise, I will always love you even after death. Jayda... will you marry me?"
My face was soaked with tears. I could barely breathe. I had the biggest lump in my throat. When he asked me to marry him, without hesitation I said "Yes."
My family cheered for us. Charles put the most beautiful ring on my finger and quickly picked me up into his embrace and kissed me like he never kissed me before. I then stepped back for a second to appreciate the ring. It was a beautiful diamond ring. It was huge. I don't know how much money he spent on it, but it didn't matter to me. He was all that mattered to me. All the people in my life that I love and the ones I've lost.. is all that matters to me.

     Making terrible mistakes and struggling to solve your problems is all part of life. Sometimes we trip, sometimes we fall, and sometimes it's too hard to get back up. You think that no matter what happens to you in your life, you'll always get through it standing tall on your feet, but when you actually come across those dark valleys, you second guess yourself. You start to question how in the world people manage to get through these hard times. It can't possibly be this hard to do something that you once thought was so minor, so underestimated, and so normal. Life becomes too hard the older you get. You probably already know that, but always remember, you don't learn anything until you sit down in the desk and take it all in, learn to understand what it is you're talking about, and sometimes the lessons are easy, but the tests are never the same. My life turned out the complete opposite of what I expected. I thought my teenage years were going to be easy. I thought life was going to be easy. Well, life wasn't made to be easy, and mine sure as hell was never. My name is Jayda Joseph, and this is my story.