My Heart's in Alabama

19 - Matt

Laying here looking up at the fake stars on my bedroom ceiling, the Deja Vu crushes me. I feel like I'm 12 years old again. All the feelings of that day rush through me like a flooded river. My chest constricts. It feels like I'm drowning.

I take a couple deep breaths, gasping for air. I close my eyes and envision the blue skies of home. My heart aches for it. That's where I'm supposed to be. I see it clear as day now.

This failed experiment, it's done. It's over.

I want to go back where I belong. But, I can't. I'm stuck here.

I roll over and groan at the thought of all my friends and family celebrating Drew's birthday without me. I wanted this so bad. I believed in it. I trusted it. I looked into a future that didn't exist. I should have listened. They tried to warn me. They knew this would happen. You know what really sucks? I did too.

So why am I disappointed? Why does it hurt so bad? Why am I surprised at all?

I know one thing's for sure, she's out of chances. I'm never trusting her again. I realize what I should have known all along. She's not worth wanting and she's sure as hell ain't worth missing.

My phone rings. I don't have to look at it. I already know who it is. No doubt it's my dad calling to check in on me. At first, I let it ring. I don't want to answer. The ringing fades away, but there's only a brief pause before he calls again and it starts back up.

I don't know if I can face him and the mistake I made coming here or how stupid I was to think I could bring a dead family back to life.

The phone keeps ringing and I know I have to answer. It absolutely sucks, but I can't leave my dad hanging. It's not like any of this is his fault.

"Hey kiddo."

The sadness, disappointment, and pity is so strong in his voice it's like it's sitting right in the room with me.

"Hey."

I don't say much else. Honestly, I'm not sure what I would say.

"Um, I, uh, know you probably don't want to talk right now and that's completely fair, but if you can listen for a second?"

It still hurts, but I think I can handle that.

"Yeah, for sure."

"I know, uh, this is kind of a big ask given the situation, but Drew really wants you to come home. And, you know Drew, he's always got something cooking."

He lets out a little laugh to lighten the mood. When I don't laugh, he quickly clears his throat and turns sheepish.

"You know Miss Chloe, right? His golf instructor?"

Oh, brother. Seriously, I can't escape this woman. What's she got to do with all this?

"Uh, uh huh.." I say, unsure of where this is going.

"Well, she's on her way home from visiting family and Drew asked if she could pick you up on her way back."

"..what?"

"I know, I know," he says, his words rushed. "I wish like hell I could come get you, but with the party tomorrow morning, I just..I don't have time, bud."

I spring up from where I was laying honestly kind of in shock. I never would have expected my dad to drive out here just to get me. That's crazy.

"No, Dad, I wouldn't want you to do that."

"No, I know. You're my kid, though, you know? I hate not being there for you. Especially right now."

"I, uh," I say, stumbling to find the words.

It feels, I don't know, sudden? And weird? I don't know this woman for shit and I gotta spend six hours in a car with her?

"Look, you know what, forget it. I knew this was insane. I'll call Chloe and tell her to skip the detour. We'll FaceTime later, okay? And I'll, I don't know, after the party I'll head straight to you and you can spend a few days here. I'll call the school and let them know you're going to be out. Are you caught up on your homework?"

"No, Dad, Dad, Dad," I say, trying to get this runaway train back on track. "It's cool. I just, what time is she coming?"

"No, you're right, it's crazy. I'll figure it out, okay?"

"Dad, seriously, I don't want to miss Drew's birthday party. If she's cool with me hitching a ride, I mean, whatever, it's no big deal."

"You sure?"

"My stuff's already packed. It sounds like she's on her way. I don't want to disappoint Drew. Let's just do it."

"Okay," my dad relents. "She's about an hour away."

I reassure my dad one more time that it's fine and we say our goodbyes. I gotta admit, I'm feeling a little stressed out. I've got serious whiplash. Five minutes ago I thought I was never gonna make it back home and now, I am. I'm gonna see my dad, my brother, and my sisters. I'm gonna get to watch Drew open his birthday presents and read Marcie a bedtime story. I'm gonna get to hear one of Sal's dumb stories and shake my head as Teddy and Whitney bicker over nothing in particular.

And best of all, I'm gonna get to take Kiersten to the lake and kiss her. Just like I've always dreamed of.