Everything comes back to you -J.MARIANO

[1.32]

ꪻaryn received a bundle of letters from Kirk and his distinct apologies about how he had lost the mail to their house after his mother had stolen a bunch of envelopes and hidden them away because he took something he wasn't supposed to. She sat down at the kitchen table and began to sort through the piles, creating three separate piles for each member of the household. Whilst she had let herself get distracted by a particular magazine that she always ordered, her focus was immediately taken by a number of envelopes. Thin envelopes. Her hopes shattered at the mere idea that every single place had rejected her. For a second, she considered that fashion school was probably slightly different to the usual universities and she managed to find enough delusion to tear open all of the letters. She skimmed through all of them before placing them down on the table in front of her, letting her gaze fall upon the different fonts each used. DENIED. We regret to inform you... DUE TO CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES.... Unfortunately.... Rejected.

From all. Every single school, rejected. The one that hit her the most, the one she had wanted to go to desperately, had rejected her as they didn't have the ability to accommodate her disability.

Taryn, after staring for a minute, finally felt the realization click in and her hands instantaneously began to tremble. She felt as if she were drunk as the world seemed to move too steps behind herself. She ran out of the house, slamming the door shut behind herself without locking it. Without even thinking twice about it, she felt her feet running towards the diner. Upon entrance to the building, her chest heaved with stolen air and the weight of a fallen future felt pressed against it. She could not catch her breath yet Jess saw her for a second, smiled, then looked away as if nothing was wrong. It was only when he turned around, two plates now in hand, that he noticed the rapid movements of her chest and the fact that she hadn't moved a muscle upon entry. He dumped the plates at their table and ignored the angered murmurs of diners as he hurried over to his girlfriend. "Tee?" he began, pressing for a response with the tone of his question. When none came, he took her face in both his hands and fixed her fluttering gaze onto his, "Did something happen? What-"

No words came from Taryn. Instead great sobs that had been brewing in her chest started to expel themselves from her body. Before anyone but Babette could notice, he maneuvered her into the back room of the diner just in time for the sobbing to become uncontrollable. Jess could hear Babette's loud and diner distracting chatter as he wrapped his arms around Taryn  protectively. She sobbed, face mushed against his chest whilst her hand grasped onto his shirt. He basically held her up as she released all the disappointment and grief within her soul whilst running a comforting hand over her head and down her back.

"I didn't get in," Taryn managed to mutter as she paused for breath, removing her face from his chest to catch his response.

A look of understanding swept across his eyes and his brow furrowed for an entirely different reason this time as he asked, "To where?"

"To all of them," she whispered. Even Jess could feel how his gaze softened as he realized what this meant for her. Her entire future was, in her eyes at least, ruined.

"They don't know what they're missing out on," he responded softly whilst she rested her head back into place on his chest, frowning at how her tears had stained his shirt.

She scoffed and to him it almost sounded like laughter but how she proceeded to burst into tears once more told a different story." I'm just not good enough," she choked out between breaths, only able to focus on how she had worked for something her entire life to just not get it. The disappointment, self hatred and deep rooted confidence issues skyrocketed and all she could do was cry.

"Hey look at me," he began and moved so she was forced to look up at him. He brushed the hair from the corners of her face and spoke slowly so he knew she would comprehend despite all distractions. "You're a good designer, screw them they don't know what they're talking about."

As tears continued to slip down her cheeks, she whispered back, "I wish I could believe you."

-

Later in the day, after Luke had heard about the situation from Babette (who promised not to tell another soul) and let Jess ditch the diner mid shift, Taryn had somewhat calmed down. She could not shift the feeling of dread but breathing was a little easier now, though the elephant was still perched quite happily atop her ribs. They had spent most of their time in front of the television. Taryn curled up in a blanket, which Jess soon slipped underneath too once he had started to feel the cold as well. Luke made periodic trips upstairs to grab things they all knew he didn't need, wanting to check on Taryn  and to make sure there wasn't anything dodgy going on upstairs. "I guess I could just take a gap year," she spoke softly as they watched yet another movie. Her mind had not been in any of them as focusing was just far too difficult. Instead, she let her mind spin and found a few different ideas floating around in there. Back up plans that she hadn't even thought of seemed well planned and easy enough to execute. "Get a job, save up for six months then travel for the rest."

"That's a good idea," he replied softly, moving his arm to a slightly different position as it had started to go dead. 

She sighed softly, "I could build up my portfolio too, take some classes from the night school."

"I'm sure you already know everything they'd be teaching."

"It would look good on my resume though, help me get in," Taryn paused to sniffle some of her tears away yet again, not wanting to fall into the breakdown any more than she already had. "I just wish I could do it this year, I want to be a professional as soon as I can, this puts me back a year. But... I mean I do want to travel, get out of Stars Hollow."

"There's a lot more to the world than Stars Hollow, trust me."

She tilted her head, which had been resting in the crook of his shoulder, up towards his face as she softly asked, "Will you show me?"

Jess titled his head down slightly and looked at her, chuckling under his breath before he replied. "I can."

"Promise?"

He smiled ever so slightly and pressed a sealing kiss to her lips, "Promise."

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