I’ve been having bad dreams lately. Nightmares. It started about three months ago. It’s always the same, every single night. I’ve tried everything I can think of, but no matter what, nothing seems to help.
I live alone, no wife or girlfriend to speak of. No one to bother with my nightly horrors. I wake up thrashing, screaming, covered in sweat. Sometimes I cry, sitting there in the sticky darkness, with my face in my hands. I cry because I’m terrified, I cry because I’m frustrated, I cry because there’s no one here to tell me it’s ok. Some nights I get up, the peace of sleep shattered by the dream scape horrors. I go out and sit on my porch after pouring a stiff drink. I watch the acres of lonely field surrounding my house sway in the gentle nighttime breeze. I watch the moon, its glow a white cut across the sky.
I wait for the sweat to dry on my face. I wait till my nerves settle. I wait for the sun to rise. I wonder how much longer I can take this. I wonder why I keep having the same dream, over and over again, night after night.
It always starts the same. I’m standing in the woods, at night, with tall trees towering overhead. I can hear a strong wind rustle the leaves, the old wood moaning. There’s no ground beneath my feet, just empty darkness. I wander through the forest, empty of foliage, looking for something. I don’t know what it is I’m looking for, but there’s an urgency in the air.
As I walk, I hear a voice on the wind: “Sssshhhhhhhhhh…” It warns me, a low rumble from the heavens. I know I need to be silent. I know I need to be quiet or something bad will happen. I take extra care to silence my movement.
After I’ve walked some distance, I see a door ahead of me. It’s red and slightly ajar. It’s maybe twenty feet in front of me. Even though I’m in the middle of an empty forest, I know that door leads somewhere else. I know there’s something bad behind the maroon stained wood.
As I get closer, I freeze. Yes, there’s something horrible behind that door. Something evil. I can feel it approaching from the other side. I feel an urge to run, get away, my heart thundering in my ears. I watch in horror as a shadow darkens the crack in the door.
Something is looking at me, an eye, yellow and menacing, peeking out into the darkness. Before I can scream, I hear a voice yell my name, and it‘s terrified for me. It comes from the sky, all around me, and I think it’s the same voice that beckoned me to be silent. I turn and run, feeling the door open behind me.
And that’s when the horn begins. Deep and bellowing, it tolls out a long ominous note. Over and over again, louder and louder, coming from every direction. I cover my ears, terrified, knowing that the sound means something bad is about to happen.
I can hear the sound of footsteps behind me, heavy and agile. Something is chasing me. No. There’s more than one. It sounds like a hundred hammers being driven into muddy earth. It’s getting closer and I dare not look back. I’m openly crying, tears streaming off my cheeks as fear clenches my guts.
I can feel myself growing winded. I know there’s nothing to run to, the forest an endless labyrinth constructed by the nightmare. The empty darkness below my feet stretches off into the creaking trees and I know there is no safety to be found here.
As my chest heaves and the last of my strength drains from my legs, I stumble and fall.
Screaming, I turn over and pain erupts from my chest as they reach me.
I’m mauled, torn into shreds, one long rip at a time. As I die, the horn continues to blare and it’s the last thing I hear before I wake up.
It’s been like that for three months. Every single night. I don’t know what brought it on, what’s causing it, but it keeps returning like a cancer. I feel dread as the sun goes down, knowing that soon I will have to go to bed. The dream terrifies me. The dread that fills me upon waking is crippling and I am overwhelmed with horror. It takes me a long time to settle down, steady my breath. Well tonight, something changed.
The dream came and went like it always did and I awoke screaming. I scrubbed the tears from my eyes, counting to ten out loud. It was an exercise I had picked up, recommended by the doctor I had seen about the nightmares. It helped calm me.
As I reached “ten”, I lowered my hands from my face and my eyes went wide. My mouth dried up and my heart dropped into my stomach.
In the distance, I heard the horn. It was just like in the dream, that low note repeating with horrific certainty.
I pushed the covers aside, hands shaking, and went to the kitchen. I stared out the window, licking my dry lips. The horn was coming from outside, its deep rumble echoing into the night, the noise traveling to my ears from a great distance.
Knees shaking, I went to my front door and pushed it open.
I froze, heart seizing in my chest.
The red door from my dream was in the field, its frame lit by the full moon. It was about a hundred yards from me, the tall grass brushing against the dark wood.
The distance horn began to grow louder.
My eyes bulged and a scream rose in my throat.
The door began to open.
I just woke up. I don’t know what’s happened. I’m scared out of my mind. I puked a couple of minutes ago, my stomach sour and sick. My body doesn’t feel right. My head is killing me. There’s something else. Something I can’t believe, but no matter how many times I close my eyes, when I open them it remains the same.
My house is surrounded by dark forest.
Somehow, some way, I’m in that fucking nightmare.
I’m writing this out at my desk, hoping that somehow someone will read this.
I don’t want to be forgotten.
I’m so alone here.
The horn has started again.
