Before the Car | Escapes #0.5

Chapter 4

It didn't take long for me to remember why I didn't miss working the stockroom. I was hauling things off of trucks all day, and I had only been officially working for two days. I was passing things off to a girl that worked stocking things. She was surprisingly strong. I wasn't sure how old she was, but she was here every morning and every afternoon. As far as I could tell, she was doing high school homework, though I still hadn't approached her. 

She had an air about her that made me not want to try talking to her. Something about her was sending out 'don't talk to me' signals that I couldn't ignore. Most of them seemed to be sent in my direction too. After being around my family, I could take a hint. I left her alone as much as possible. 

"Who's that girl that does her homework here?" I asked at the end of my first week. 

Dad looked at me over his reading glasses, pausing his work of ordering more products. "She's a very special girl. Her name is Jenny. Don't mind her too much. She does her own thing and does it well, so I have no complaints about her."

"How old is she?"

"Seventeen. Don't go chasing her just yet. Wait until she's eighteen."

I bristled. "I wasn't going to chase her. I was just curious, that's it."

Dad gave me a knowing look. "That's how it always starts." He went back to scrolling and clicking. 

Frowning, I turned to look out the windows of the office. The girl was working on her homework in a corner by one of the unused registers. I watched her scratch her head with the pencil and then look up. I stepped back even though she couldn't see me. "She's a high school student, then," I muttered to myself. 

"I'm warning you," Dad said again, his voice higher than usual as he split his concentration. "You leave her alone."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry. I know better." I'm not Charlie, I mentally added. Still, something about her piqued my interest, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I turned away from the window and walked over to my dad. "So, when are we starting payroll?"

He glanced up at me. "As soon as I finish ordering. Have a seat. It shouldn't be much longer." He gestured at the chair next to him. "Relax. Once you do it a couple of times, you won't be excited about it, trust me. It's like school."

I sighed but sat in the chair he pointed at. "What all are you ordering?"

Dad pulled off his readers and tossed them on the desk before rubbing his face with his hands. "I didn't realize you were trying to learn everything all at once. I'm ordering things we're low on." He turned his computer so I could see too. I watched as he clicked on seemingly random things without an explanation and entered varying amounts of each thing. 

Eventually, I grew bored of not knowing what was going on and began playing on my phone. As I sat there, I didn't even notice anything was going on until I heard the whir of the printer. I looked up and saw him printing off checks. "I thought you were going to show me how to run payroll!" I said, exasperated. How long had I been sitting there? Now I had been taking time off of work for no reason.

"You were into that phone." He gestured to my hands. "You need to realize that sometimes that little device needs to be put away. It serves a purpose, but not here in the office while you're working on things that need to get done. You can play music or whatever if you want to, but you have to set aside distractions so you can focus. Learn that first."

"I was only trying to pass time until you were doing payroll!"

Dad looked at me. "Son, listen. I'm only going to judge your willingness based on your actions. If you're playing on the phone, that shows a disinterest in what I'm doing. I'm not going to force you to do anything. It's up to you to show me how willing you are to do the work. I know you've wanted to take over from me, and I intend to let you run your own store at some point, but first I need to know this is something you want to do."

I thought I'd made it clear that this was something I wanted to learn, but I guess I wasn't paying attention. Still, though. he wouldn't have been forcing anything on me, and he knew that. I wanted to say something, but I bit my tongue. Experience told me that he wouldn't listen to what I said. Besides, he did have a point. "Okay. I'll keep that in mind for next time. What do you want me to do?"

"You're going to hand out checks today."

I nodded, a little leery of doing so. Wasn't it kind of a taboo type of thing for coworkers to know what each other made? Then again, I was training to be a manager. Managers were supposed to know this type of thing. I would be incompetent at my job if I had to do payroll and had no idea what my employees made. 

No matter how much I told myself that, though, I couldn't get past the thought of the taboo. Yet I stuck around and waited until the end of the day. Employees began lining p outside the office and Dad handed me a stack of checks. "Do you remember their names?" he asked.

"I think so," I replied with a nod. He opened the door to the office, and one by one everyone came into the office. I tried to not make it obvious that I was checking their pay as I gave one to each person. 

Finally, near the end of the line, was that girl. Jenny. She wasn't smiling when she came into the office, and when I handed her the check, she gave me a smile and said thanks, but it didn't touch her eyes. In fact, she just looked sad. Since when did getting a check - especially one that was as much as hers - make someone sad? It had to just be pocket money since she was still in high school. It wasn't like she was supporting a household. Unless, maybe, she had a kid. 

I quickly put the thought out of my mind. She didn't seem like a mother. There was a certain air about people with kids that she didn't have. Not that she seemed like she wouldn't be a good mom or anything like that. There was no way for me to know that type of thing. Yet. 

As I handed out the last of the checks, I questioned the "yet" my mind had tacked on to the end of that thought. There was no reason for it. I got up and looked out the window at the girl. She was getting ready to head out the door for the night. Would she get home okay? I kind of wanted to walk her at least to the bus stop that I'd noticed her getting off on. 

The notion to follow her crossed my mind, but that would also cross the line into creep territory, and I didn't want to be that guy. Still, I worried for her. Something drew me to her. I couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe it was that she was the only one at the store that was about my age?

I told myself that was the case. Though I couldn't convince myself. Especially the next morning when she walked into the store and I felt a sense of relief. I paid attention to myself that day, and found my eyes followed her more than I was willing to admit. 

She interacted normally with everyone, but when she laughed, there was something weird about her. I paid a little more attention and by the end of the day it dawned on me: her eyes never smiled. No matter what, her expression never matched her eyes. They held something else. They looked worn out, as if she'd lived a lifetime already. 

I had to remind myself that she was only 17. Her eyes seemed much older than that. 

"You're paying a lot of attention to Jenny," Dad told me when we left that night.

I didn't think he'd noticed. "She's just interesting. Have you looked at her eyes? I wonder what she's been through to look that way."

He glanced at me before pulling out onto the road. "There's a lot you don't know about her, son. I don't think it's my place to say anything. You'd have to talk to her and see if she'll tell you."

The thought of approaching her made something in my stomach squirm and my heart race. "No, I don't think I could do that. We don't really know each other." Not that I didn't want to know more about her. I just wasn't sure she'd want to know about me. After all, I was the typical story of a guy born into convenience, but I didn't really want anyone to know about my bully of a cousin, or that my family had rejected me.

My dad just nodded. "Then why don't you try?"

I sighed. "No, I don't think so. She keeps blowing everyone off."

He glanced at me again. "I think you've been paying more attention than I thought. Remember what we talked about?"

"Yeah, yeah. Off limits. I know."