The Slut's Guide to Romance(ONC 2024)

10

I needed a minute to gather my thoughts before I came looking for Alex who I find smoking in the main room of the estate. It's in the part of the chateau I am not allowed in, but I don't think Alexia wants to be alone.

Gold gilding showers the walls, casting a warm glow over the room while rich greens and deep reds accentuate the luxurious atmosphere. Alexia stands by the fireplace smoking as I wonder: what is it with this family and fireplaces?

"A rebel," Alexia remarks as I make my way to her.

"I'm sorry?" I reply.

"Are you asking, or are you saying?" Amusement dances in her eyes as Alexia takes a pull. Smoke quickly escapes from her rounded lips as she pushes out her words. "If you're apologizing, you don't need to. I've heard enough apologies for a lifetime and if you're confused..."

"I'm... not confused," I interject. "I know that I don't belong here. But–I needed to find you–"

"Why?" Alexia interrupts, an intimidating gaze stopping me at the center of the room.

"I–"

I don't know. I felt like it was the right thing to do, but now that I'm here, it was hubris of me to assume she didn't want to be alone. I'm ashamed as I realize I had only thought that because Honor hated to be alone. But Alexia isn't Honor.

We stand in silence. Alexia's smirk makes me want to crawl out of my skin as she seemingly reads my mind.

"Honor Catmire isn't real Lilah," Alexia reminds me. "She's a blend of me, Owen and Inez. I might have loosely inspired her. Lucca and I might have been the main characters for the first four books but that was only because Owen wasn't settled in his truth, so he, and you, thought it was your place to make a spectacle out of mine."

Guilt washes over me as once again, I don't know what to say. She isn't wrong. Owen wrote a book to change his reality and in his reality his sister was the central character. I love Honor. Many people do but the whole premise of my podcast was that Alexia and many others who played a part in the true story wanted to let it die.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Alexia's smirk deepens, a wry twist of her lips hitting me like a punch to the gut as she takes another drag.

"Was your life that boring?" She asks me.

"I'm–"

"Stop saying sorry," Alexia giggles. "Sorry changes nothing and when you say it enough people either don't believe you or take it as a sign of weakness."

I stand in place until Alexia makes her way over, taking my hand and continuing to smoke as she leads me to the sofa. We say nothing as she sits across from me, examining me closer than I would like before she speaks.

"Let's make a deal Lilah," Alexia declares.

"A... A deal?" I reply.

"You want her don't you. Honor?"

"I–"

Alexia holds up a finger holding a pregnant pause between us as she takes another pull. Her head tilting back as a cloud of gray earth spirals into the air above us.

"I am nothing but honest with you Lilah," Alexia's voice is laced with a strange bitterness or–am I imagining it? "I will be honest and say, when my life went up in smoke, there are no words for the anger I felt. At Owen, at Justice, but most of all, at you."

I can't look at her as Alexia says she "I wanted to know who the fuck is Lilah Mōkena, and why was a fraction of my past ruining my present. I never listened to your podcast before that, but when I looked you up. When I learned you were friends with Lucca, Simone, and Hana, it felt like a conspiracy."