billie eilish mental health imagines

POTS

i grabbed my bottle of water off the side before heading back upstairs to billie's room.

i've been staying at billie's house for the past few weeks because my mom had to go away for work.

but i don't mind, i love being around billie and her family because i feel like they accept me and understand me.

all it took was one step after another but of course my body wasn't going to allow me to do that.

with every step that i took a haze clouded my brain making it hard for my body to receive the correct signals.

"it's okay, you're alright." i reassured myself.

i looked down at the watch on my wrist as i watched my heart rate jump from 95 to 150 in a few seconds.

my legs began to feel heavy, almost as though someone had attached weights to the bottom of them.

my breaths became shallow as i tried to keep myself as close to the floor as possible.

"okay, here we go." i spoke breathlessly.

i laid myself down on the stairs, trying to protect my head as best i could but also be somewhat comfortable.

my vision began to blur, dark spots forming it in as i struggled to keep myself calm.

but soon the darkness overtook me, leaving me to float around in the nothingness for a while.

-

i lifted my head but the weight of it was just too much for me to hold up on my own.

there was a sharp dull pain in my head as i tried to gather myself and somehow crawl to billie's room.

"billie?" i tried to shout but it came out as a whisper.

my lips were now beyond dry and i could barely swallow, the exhaustion was now beginning to take over.

"logan? are you okay?" i heard a male voice ask.

my eyes tried to see through the thick layers of hair that were covering my face.

i attempted to shake my head to communicate how i was feeling but my head was still too heavy.

"billie?" i heard him call.

thankfully it didn't take long for billie to come and see what all the commotion was.

"what can i get you?" she questioned, moving my hair out of my face.

billie had only dealt with me having presyncope but never fully passing out, however she was always extremely helpful.

"blue bag." i told her.

she nodded before sending the newly identified finneas into her room to find it.

whilst finneas was busy, billie helped me up the rest of the stairs and onto my back with my knee against the wall.

i looked at my watch again, struggling to make out the number on the screen as the haze was still covering my view.

"what's it say?" i questioned.

billie looked down at my wrist before moving back again.

"124." she told me.

i sighed, allowing my head to fall back down almost instantly as i knew that this episode wasn't over.

using my hand i began to fan my face as i could feel my face flush a deep red from the heat.

"here you go." finneas said as he handed the bag over.

billie took it from him before opening it and looking at the content inside that made up my 'emergency kit'.