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SARAI

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SARAI

My little secret field trip upstate turned out to be a total bust, but I couldn't even be disappointed that I didn't get to see Taraji, for I had learned that she had been released from prison three days earlier. The fact that she's free and most likely still in New York means that the potential of us building a real bond and connecting face to face is much stronger than it would be if she was still behind bars. I feel like I'm getting close to something. I pray that that something is my birth mother. Knowing the things she's done, I'm not scared of her for some reason. I want to know everything about her- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm sure there's a lot of bad and ugly, but I won't turn her away. There has to be some kind of story behind her, and I want to read every page in her book of pain and struggles. I can't imagine what she's been through. Maybe difficult circumstances forced her to do the things she did, or maybe she's just a soulless criminal. I'll never know if I can't talk to her. I just hope that when my moms find out, they still want to be my moms.

TARAJI

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TARAJI

I must have stood in the lobby of the adoption agency department for hours, waiting on any information that I could get on Sarai Henson. I should have known that nobody would want to put private information about a child into the hands of an ex-con. The only thing the woman at the front desk could tell me was that she lives on the Upper East Side. The people who adopted her must have a lot of money. That was all the information I could get, and I felt like jumping across the desk and choking the hell out of the bitch, but I didn't make it out of prison just to be thrown back in. I waited around for so long that I ended up being over an hour late to work, and Miss Taylor was not happy ahout that. The entire time she berated me, I just stared down at the floor because it was the only thing I could do to keep myself from mopping the floor with her. In prison, a bitch would never get a chance to scream in my face. But this isn't prison, this is the real world. And Miss Taylor is not an inmate, she's my boss.

Kennedy: Two hours! Two fucking hours! As my assistant, I expect you to be at my beck and call every second of the day because that is what I am paying you for! My time is not to be fucking wasted, you understand me?!

Taraji: Yes ma'am. I sincerely apologize. I won't let it happen again.

Kennedy: No, you won't. 

She took a deep breath, her eyes flitting over my form. They came back up to lock with mine, and her tongue absentmindedly slid out to lick her bottom lip. I don't know what this tension is between us, but it's been there since the moment we met and I don't know how I should feel about it. I don't even know what to call it.

Kennedy: I'm making you stay two hours over to make up for the two hours that you were late.

Taraji: I guess that's fair.

Kennedy: It doesn't have to be fair. You're going to do it anyway because I told you to. You're going to mop my floors, dust my furniture, and clean all of my cameras.

Taraji: I thought that I was your assistant, not your maid?

Kennedy: You are whatever I tell you to be. If you have a problem with it, you can walk out of my studio and find your way to the unemployment line. This is the best offer that you're going to get. Anybody else would have thrown your application out the minute they found out who you are. I'm giving you a chance to actually do something with your life. Don't make me regret it. Are we clear?

Taraji: Crystal.

I didn't even realize how close we were to each other's faces and that our chests were touching. I reached around her, my face brushing past hers as I picked up the photo of her wife and daughter on the corner of her desk.

Taraji: You have a beautiful wife.

Kennedy: I know I do.

Taraji: I don't think she would like us being this close to each other. It's a little hot in here, isn't?

Kennedy: I feel fine. I would think you're cold because of how hard your nipples are right now.

I looked down, and sure enough my headlights were blinking bright. She grabbed my chin, lifting my head back up. I was sure she could hear my heart pounding due to the little space between us. I wouldn't be surprised if she could feel it, too. I don't owe her wife any loyalty and I don't even know her, but I would feel really bad for hurting her by fucking this woman. Why am I more concerned about her wife's feelings than she is? Why am I turned on by her? The women in prison were never as beautiful as her. They were never as clean, either.

Taraji: I should get started on that cleaning.

Kennedy: When you mop, make sure you bend over real low, just so that you can get the corners clean enough.

I chuckled, shaking my head. As I cleaned the studio, I was able to be left alone with my thoughts while she edited photos on her laptop in her office. I think it's best that we keep as much distance between us as possible. I can't quite place it, but something about Kennedy Taylor bothers my soul. At the same time, I can't deny how attracted I am to her. I'm trying to do the right thing, but it's in my nature for me to do the wrong thing, and human nature doesn't change.

 I'm trying to do the right thing, but it's in my nature for me to do the wrong thing, and human nature doesn't change

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FANTASIA

Kennedy left for work today without giving me a hug or a kiss. I thought that we would have been okay after last night in the car, but she's still holding onto her issues. It's hurting my feelings that she's choosing to ice me out instead of trying to work through it with me. I told her that I'm willing to do anything to rekindle the flame between us, and I meant that. We're never going to get different results if we don't do things differently. I'm going into the studio today to write a song for Kehlani, so I will be able to put my pain into the music, but I'll still have to come back home and deal with my unhappy wife. This is going to sound crazy, but I've put a lot of thought into it, and I think that we should invite another woman into our bedroom for a night. We've never been with anybody but each other. Even when we constantly broke up and took breaks in our younger days, we never gave our bodies to other people, only each other. A threesome could spice up our sex life and allow us to discover a newfound appreciation for each other. I just hope that when I bring it up to Kennedy, she doesn't take it the wrong way.

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